A Single Mother

Chapter 4

April 2022

Kai didn’t mind living in the streets. He knew what it was like being homeless. His relationship with the two people in his life didn’t work out well. They were abusing his mind completely. His first boyfriend was Jess Ven Stuart. What he found out was that his boyfriend was in a polyamorous relationship. And his boyfriend was also bisexual.

During that time, around October 17, 2021 was when he met him. And around October 20, 2021 was when he met Liam Dean Dawyne. He couldn’t feel any spark in Jess. But, he definitely felt sparks around Liam. They both know that Kai was actually a she. They didn’t question his reason why he hid his gender. But, it was for the best not to force him to tell them.

They were great friends at first. Minus the fact that Jess was very controlling. He didn’t agree with whatever Liam was saying when making a decision. During the time that Liam joined in a polyamorous relationship with Jess and himself, he didn’t let Kai know. The fact that Liam decided to choose to f**k Anatasia. The woman who at the time was the ex-girlfriend of Ling Howard. He was happy that he was able to make Anastasia c*m like a bucket.

He thought that Kai treated him like a sidewalk. But, Kai never thought of him. He showed his true self. However, in the end, the things Liam did to him ate him alive. He couldn’t forgive what Liam did to him. He was heartbroken. To him; when he wanted to get to know someone; he wouldn’t choose to f**k someone else when he was in a relationship or not. Liam lost Kai’s trust. It was hard to work that out.

He decides to become friends with benefits towards Kai. As for Kai, he tries his best not to fall in love. Even though Liam was confusing him a lot. Especially when Liam gets jealous every time he sees Kai with other guys. But, he always has to remember that Kai doesn’t belong to him. He didn't know what came over him. He asked Kai to be his girlfriend. But, as for Kai; he didn’t know if he was being serious or not.

Over the years, Liam calls it quits. He stayed quiet. He was afraid of speaking his mind to Kai. Because he thought he would make Kai angry. He knew that he was confused. But everything ended quickly. Especially what he found out.

Liam’s POV

I found out that Kai was acting strangely. I know that he was actually a she. And she has a reason why she hides her gender. But, I didn’t want to push it. However, I am confusing myself. And I am also confusing Kai too. I don’t know if I like Kai as a friend or more than a friend.

I know that me having s*x with Anatasia isn't the best idea. But, he wanted to gain Kai’s trust again. So, he did everything to make her happy. If she was happy, then I would. It just means that I did something good. But, I know deep down Kai hasn’t forgiven me. Because he would mention Sophia to me. And also Anatasia. I wasn’t at my best. I know I’m a jerk. I shouldn’t compare Sophia to Kai. Since, Kai wasn’t Sophia. Kai is herself. It was a low blow.

I know that Kai likes me. But she told me herself; she likes me. I asked her again how much she liked me. However, she just told me; she doesn’t know what it's like. But I could tell by her body language. Every time I mention a girl to her, he becomes sad. It was nice to have her being jealous. I like it. I didn’t know why I told her that I felt unhappy around her. And that I felt trapped when I was around her. It wasn’t the truth.

I didn’t see it though. Her expression suddenly changed. My attitude towards her changed. Because I found out that Kai is pregnant with my child. I know I shouldn’t tell her this. But, it was the only way. I don’t feel like I’m enough for her. I remember after her birthday in January that he was pregnant. It was during pregnancy confirmation. I was happy, but I was also sad. I know I would be a great father. But the tendency to like having s*x with women didn’t go well. Especially Anatasia, who always initiates s*x towards me.

I was lying though. I shouldn’t tell Jess that I wanted a female friend who didn’t have s*x. But it was the only way to have Jess not breathe down my neck. I like having s*x with Anastasia even though she has a boyfriend. Kai knew it too. It hurts her more the way I treated her. I told her I didn’t want to have kids. Even though I told her I wouldn’t abandon any women bearing my child. I didn’t want her to get hurt by me. Even though I say that it hurts me to see her unhappy. And the cause of it was me.

I pushed Kai further and further. I gave up on her when she needed me most. I told her that I didn’t want to pay child support. I told her that I didn’t want my name on the child’s birth certificate. I know paying child support doesn’t really ruin my life. I’m a bad person telling her that I would be 100% happy, glad and relieved that our first baby would die from childbirth. I know the chances are. That if Kai gives birth to our child she might die as well. But, I didn’t want to let Kai die. I was already freaking out.

The way Kai looked at me when I told her that. I could tell she was hurting deep inside. But, she doesn’t voice it. I knew that I heard what she said. Everything she told him made him uncomfortable.

// End of Liam’s POV //

It’s been two years since the three people lived together in Berkeley, California 94703. The first time that Kai left. He quicks at all of his jobs. At that time, his mother stole all his money. He had a feeling he would get pregnant someday. That’s why he got a job and worked for seven years. He had money. But he had a toxic mother.

Everything changes for a reason…

May 1 2023

Present day…

Kai moved back to his mother and brother. Because things changed for him. He wanted to cut ties with Jess and Liam. They help them move their stuff in the house. It was shocking at the very least. The fact that his own mother personally invited them to the baby shower. A baby shower that Kai didn’t think would happen.

Kai and Liam were still having problems. Liam found out that Kai deleted all the social media that Kai had. It only took him and Kai to talk on May 20 2023. But they have stopped communicating since then. It hurts a lot. Liam decides not to be friends with Kai. He was too much. Even though Kai heard from Jess, he was freaking out. He also stopped messaging Jess and Liam. He still has f*******:, i********: and snapchat. But, he didn’t want to be their friend on social media.

He should’ve listened to his friends. His friends were always right. He had a meeting with his mother and brother. His brother heard everything. Even the fact that he told me he had lost his virginity. He is just mad that his brother is controlling his life. It was his own body. He can choose who he wants to have s*x with. His mother agrees that Kai should go back to being a woman from now on. Since it will be the month of June.

His mother knew she would be doing the baby shower. Since then, she had been focusing on sending stuff in the box. The boxes are for relatives in the Philippines. She could tell the houses are very messy. And that she made a temporary room for Kai. Even though it was supposed to be his room to use. She and her brother use it a lot on him. They didn’t want to leave him alone. Even though it means suffocating him. And not give him space. There wouldn’t be any privacy. Not only the fact that his mother had a mental illness coming back that he didn’t know at all. Only his older brother Rentaro knew.

A day comes when you least expect it. To this day, I never trust anyone…

I remembered it all. The only thing I can remember is my childhood memories. I sigh again. That was my side of the story honestly. I didn’t really like it. I don’t remember as much. But, I always end up having dreams. Dreams that don't make sense. I keep having dreams about the past. It was during my childhood. However, I didn’t want to think about it.

I knew that I have the ability to meet people before meeting them. I can sense things that no one can. My mother was already looking at me crazy. And my brother thinks I am mentally ill. I rolled my eyes. I know that rolling my eyes will get stuck in the back of my mind. Which is why I do not do it often.

I do not want to look back. I hate these people. They told me they aren’t like every man I have met. But they never take me seriously. I shouldn’t look back on this. Remembering what happened now, it hurts. Especially when I am pregnant. And I am already seven months pregnant. I try to distract myself by doing something. I felt emotionally tired, so I decided to go back to sleep.

// End of Girl’s POV //

The girl decides to go back to sleep. She was indeed tired. She was mentally and emotionally drained. She didn’t need this. She rubs her belly one more time. She was talking sweet things to her belly. She knew so well things had suddenly changed. She knew she would be great at this. It’s sad that someone like those men would be there. She was one hundred percent real with them.

She decided to listen to music on her phone. It was the only way to help her sleep. She has a hard time sleeping. Since, her mind had been overwhelmed by everything that happened to her. She fell instantly to sleep. She had her soft pillows on her back. She sleeps on her right side normally.

Life drastically changed for the girl. One moment, she was the life of the party. Everyone loves her. Not because of her physical appearance. Because of her personality. They didn’t look at her based on her wealth and status. They are based on her actions. The girl's aura is sometimes easy to approach if you don’t hold a hostile aura back. She was in a deep sleep.

In the dream world

It was nothing but complete darkness. There was no happy sound. The only sound that could be would be an eerie silence. There were no happy laughs. No one is talking. It was completely pitch black. It was heavy as it came by.

There lies a little hope. A flicker of light that goes in and out. It was an image of herself. The ones that were born out of nothing. The place where a soul will be born. Hers was magnificent. There were so many possibilities of the what ifs. The kind that the girl had many outcomes depending on the choices she made.

Things drastically changed for her. The moment she was born. Her soul was given to her. It was a beautiful positive energy. The kind that is attracted by anything and anyone. The kind that is hard to control. No one can tell her what to do. She was the embodiment of goddess herself. A mother of every living creature.

There was no sound. It was a peck of light. The speck of light flies down into darkness. It only starts slowly. It lights the way out of the darkness inside. As it flew down at a rapid speed, the pitch darkness in the air suddenly changed into light. It was showering in the darkness. It was trying to light a path for this soft light.

The speck of light landed on the ground that was covered in darkness. Once it hits the ground, the ground is turned into light. It continues to spread more light on the floor. When it did, there was a speck of green light. It covers the ground with specks of greenery. The kind you see in the world.

The ground starts to glow beautifully in white light. From there, it shines through more beautifully. It spread out like wildfire. Instead of fires; it was more flowers that popped up. It was as if the goddess of flowers appeared to light the way. It was like the flowers were being nice to you.

The complete darkness was shining thoroughly with the outgoing light. It beams out uncontrolling. On closer inspection, a speck of light appeared on one of the soft cushions of the grass. There was a person on the grass. It was covered by the protection of a beautiful light surrounding her.

There was movement after the slight drop of water from one of the flowers gave way. When it happened, the light around her was absorbed into her body. She flutters her eyes. It was her way to adjust the light around her. She opens her eyes then closes it. As she gets used to her surroundings, she slowly sits up straight. She started to frown. Because there was no one around her. But, that didn’t affect her. She was thinking positively.

There was a sound of someone’s voice. It echoed through the whole space. A space that was once filled with darkness. It was now completely bright as the sun. She was wearing a very pure white dress. It was up to her knees. The dress was very beautiful. Her long hair was touching the floor.

Her natural hair color was beautiful. It can change color based on her emotions. Right now; her emotions are haywired. With one touch of the sparkles of the white light; her emotions calmed instantly. Her natural hair color only appears outside of the dream world. You heard me correctly.

Her natural black hair flowed neatly. Her long eyelashes. It was natural and real. There were no fake eyelashes that humans use. Her eyes sparkled delightly. It was almost time for her to have her memories return. Because she had experienced a lot of harsh upbringing. It was time for her to shine brighter. It was the only way to drive away the negative and bad vibe. It was time to show her true self.

There was determination in her eyes. As that was happening, there were a lot of countless doors that appeared out of nowhere. She turned around. She blinked in confusion. She turned her head to the side. She was in deep thought. She was wondering what these drawers were. But, she shrugged at the thought. Instead, she decided to explore it.

The doors to her left side were all white. The door to her right side was all black. She wondered why the doors were in yin and yang colors. You know white and black. She didn’t mind it though. It didn’t bother her. She gave herself a smile. It wasn’t a big deal for her, not one bit.

She could tell there were other doors. But, that was beyond her reach. When she reached a road with many doors, a voice appeared out of nowhere. It wasn’t a voice that would hurt you. But it was soft spoken.

“ Welcome child! You have come to the right spot “

“ Why do you see the endless possibility of your lifetime! “

“ These are the doors to your memories from your past, present and future “

“ What would you like to see first? “

“ Each door holds so many memories that you want to forget “

“ There are some doors that should have been forgotten. But, it made you who you are today. “

A soft-spoken girl spoke out. The girl just stood there. She wasn’t surprised. But, she was getting excited. The doors to her left were memories from her past lives. The door to her right was memories from her present life. And ahead of her is her future life.

The girl didn’t say anything. She just wanted to open each door one by one. She decided to go to her left side. There were so many white doors though. She couldn’t decide which one though. But, her curiosity continues to grow. So instead of randomly picking them. She decided to go through it in order.