The further away the better

Is it real

Sitting out the sun baring down, I sip a delicious coffee, as I wait for my washing to dry on line, I continuously check if my underwear can be seen. Only time in my life I’d dedicated more time to my underwear, rather than what’s on special and easy to grab. Due to the weather being hotter than I’m used to and the cleaning I was doing I finally look down at what I’m wearing. Did I honestly get dressed mindlessly, put in my holy shorts that I’m now thinking about the rip in the ass check. Oh s**t! I have no undies on. Kill me now. Glad I shaved my legs! Awkwardly and shyly I look over at Patrick, intriguing looks of wonder on his face. I ask, “so how long have you been the owner of this beautiful place”. “10 years this year”. “Passed down through the family?” “ kind of”. set back by his blunt answer, not wanting to ask anything more, I finish my drink and go check my washing, still slightly damp I feel his presence and smell his scent behind me, “it’s a bit damp but I’m just head for a walk and come back in a little bit, should be dry by then”. Feel completely self conscious, I went for a walk, not to snoop but to escape negative I was feeling, not sure exactly what I was feeling but not comfortable. I guess I was testing my own boundaries of this new freedom and listening to whatever my brain is telling me to do. I found a beautiful dam, oddly enough it had a bath on a jetty. Finding that completely odd but also intriguing, I’d spent an hour just walking around the dam back to the clothes line. I came back to my clothes folded in a basket. What the hell! Keys on top and note, you can use this to get back, leave the keys with Beatrice.

I found a book to enjoy over the weekend, Cleo vampire book which was surprising captivating, few of the raunchy scenes I tried to ignore. I’d fallen asleep with the book in my hand, I was laid out on the bed my fresh underwear on to keep me cool, I felt a feather light touch on my hip, it’s felt nice, I don’t remember being touched in such a loving way, the hands caressing me felt incredible, it was as if the hands wear memorising my soft curves and devoting their touch to make me feel sexy, soft moans leave my mouth, closer as the hands get to my damp underwear, the more I try to make the feather light touches grasp my yearning. “Touch me” green eyes looking into my souls with flames of need, it’s intoxicating and I can’t look away, “touch me Patrick” I softly speak his head goes lower between my thighs , as I moan I wake up, flustered by my first wet dream. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt something so arousing. s*x hasn’t been enjoyable or arousing for me, I knew women could become horny and wanting but I hadn’t ever felt like this, I touch myself surprised at how damp I feel, it feels nice to touch myself, when green eyes come into my mind, wow, I imagine my dream being finished, my breath takes over, something is stirring within my stomach and core, I keep massaging the part of my s*x, unable to take anymore, I let it go. Blown away at what that was. I touch it again because I feel there should be more to that incredible feeling, I place my fingers lower and gently move my hand in and out, I use my palm to rub the other part and picture Patrick’s hands massaging me and I exploded, as my neck and arms spasm and the overwhelming feeling ravaging and pulsating I moan so loud I don’t even care who hears me. After what feels like forever I ask myself what was that and why have I never done that before. Hello new Kaly. Slightly embarrassed by myself, not able to look myself in the mirror I wash myself and go to make my bed, did I piss the bed? I go over and lightly smell, nope, all of a sudden their is a knock on the door, like child being sprung with it’s hand in the Lilly jar, I throw the covers over and hold my towel up yell “hello” in a high pitched voice. Patrick walks in “you ok?” Yeah I’m fine, why’s that?” What the hell was I that loud. Smirking at me. “ just checking “ as his eyes linger on me I wait for the protective wall to come up, it’s doesn’t come. Although I am embarrassed with what I assume he knows now was what I was doing, but his emerald eyes are locked onto mine with a sexy as hell look him. Dear god, please don’t let that damp liquid run down my legs while he eye f***s me. “Thanks for folding my washing and for the loan of the cart”. “ was my pleasure” oh f**k me don’t say that you handsome man. He licks his lips, bites his bottom lip, I can’t help but do the same. He proceeded to ask “ any plans today?” “ I’m not to sure, was going to the store to grab items for the week and maybe find some other work shoes and pants”. “ might get those items at Mable’s but you may need to head to Tumut or Cooma for that stuff”. “Thanks I’ll go check out Mable’s”. He turns to leave. “Thanks again”. You i***t Kaly. Well Mable’s it’s definitely not the shop I would be making a regular stop into. Maybe if I was Beatrice I walk out the shop and run into Frankie, “Hey there Kaly, you feeling better?”. “ something definitely made me feel alright that night, what was in that drink, I have never acted in the way before, I’m so embarrassed, but thank you for allowing me to let my hair down, I will kindly decline your next shout”. “Hahaha yeah no one can handle Frankie’s fruity f**k”. “ I’ll proudly agree with you on that”. “ so shopping spree at Mable’s?”. “ yeah, they didn’t have what I was looking for”.” What you need? I’m trying to sell some items, you are size 10?”. “ size 12 comfortably, but I’m looking for work shoes and some summer items”. It’s all good, is there a library around I can do some online shopping at?” “ oh girl, come with me”. Frankie takes me into a 1930’s home just off the Main Street of town, it’s maybe a 2 bedroom place, double brick with established garden and ah unique looking carpet throughout. But comfortable enough “ ok just in here, sorry I’m going through all my things, something my i***t ex left behind, your doing me a favour if you just take it”. Nodding and unsure what to say, Frankie starts holding up clothes she thinks will fit me and after a few unsure nods, and yeahs, I have 2 bags of items and 4 sets of shoes. I ask how much” Nothing you dag, I want it gone”. “ please let me pay, I don’t want to owe you”. Puzzled Frankie shakes her head, believe me your doing me a favour Shantel left with a cowboy two months ago and along with my heart, I need them gone, She was a smoker so you may need to give them a good wash” the smell was awful, triggering all my senses. I gather the two bags, despite the panic arising in my mind, say thank you and walk out the door. As I walk up the street and the two bags of joy in my hands, a distinctive Ute pulls up, “ chuck them in the back, one day I hope your realise carrying a heap of items up for a long distance is tiring”. I throw them in the Ute say thank you and continue to walk up the road. Patrick creeps up, “ didn’t think you still feared my stalker ways”. “Pardon, sorry I yeah”. I don’t know what to say. “ Kaly, can I please escort you to the farm stay”. “ oh! Yes thank you, actually I hate to be a bother but can I go to the laundromat, I need to wash these clothes.” “ sure” oblivious, Patrick pulls up to his house, lifts the bags and walks into the laundry. I don’t move, I don’t understand the kindness. Does he want something from me? Oh god, I’m attracted this man in many ways, but I can’t go against my promise and give myself to a man. I refuse, I jump out of the car, run the way back to the villa. Ok, now I can’t face him, I’ll race up again and grab my clothes later tonight when he is asleep. Anxiety and panic is starting to really piss me off. Why can’t I just be free, why can’t I live without these overwhelming feelings of being trapped and tricked. I’m exhausted. I hide under my covers in hope these thoughts push away, all of a sudden it’s Monday morning and I feel asleep. I grab the clothes I didn’t intend to wear and put them back on for another hot day in the cafe, I race out the door a trip over something at the door, go flying out the door and smash myself on the gravel. Ouch! That’s going to hurt, when Suddenly I picked up of the ground. Patrick places me on the step, brushes the gravel off and checks out my injuries, my face is killing me. “ are you ok?” “ I think so my face is sore and so is my knee”. “ I am so sorry, I left you cleaned clothes at your door”. “ why would you do that?”. “ you ran off so I done it and dropped it down this morning, I’m sorry for leaving it there.” “ no why did you do the washing, I don’t know who you think I am but I don’t need you doing all these things to get me into your bed”. Patrick looks at me with sorrow in his eyes, nods, and walks away.