Rich & Humble

Woke up today with tears flowing down my face again. Like a newborn baby looking for their mom. This is the third night in a row that I have cried myself to sleep and woke up still feeling worthless and abandoned I feel like the pain and suffering will never get any better. . " Everything is going to be alright, I'm okay" I quietly whispered to myself over and over again. Trying to overcome all the negative thoughts going through my head. This has become more and more constant. Depression and separation anxiety took over my mind and was starting to eat me up from the inside out. Day after day and night after night , Dreaming about my family and the bond we no longer had was really taking a toll on my mental health and slowly tearing me apart. I picked up my phone and looked at the time . 6:15 am. "progress " I thought to myself. as I crawled out of bed and into the shower. For the past week or so, I haven't been able to wake up before 8 am and I'm usually still exhausted from staying up late , So I would normally just lay there staring at the ceiling for 20 minutes trying to jump back into whatever dream I was having. Summer break was coming to an end so the second semester of the year was just starting back . My mind was everywhere, My family decided to move across the country during the summer. I made a last moment decision and stayed behind. I really didn't want to move across the entire country, also I was about to start my last semester of my senior school year. so it was really important for me to finish the year. I told myself I would go after I received my high school diploma. After my mom sold our family home I have been couch surfing for the last 3 months.Doing odd jobs and struggling to barely get by. When I got out of the shower. My phone rang out and I nearly had a heart attack. It's been well over a month since I've spoken to anyone over the phone. I stared at it for a moment thinking about the last conversation I had with my mom. She was just settling into her new home and was telling me about how great it was and how disappointed the rest of the family was with the decision I made to stay behind by myself. She finally decided to move closer to the rest of the family just for me to stay behind. Lost in my thoughts the phone stopped ringing and started to ring again . Bringing me back to reality. It was a number I've never seen before so I answered and a middle aged woman voice rang out and said , " Hello , good morning this is Denise from CREATING REALITY is this Lam-?- " "Yes it is " I responded before she could even reply . " Good morning Mr Lyons I was wondering if you would be comfortable with becoming our first sponsor for a new curriculum we are introducing? would you be available to come to our office and meet today around 10 am?" she asked . "I would love to " I excitedly replied . she explained the program to me briefly and sent me a message with the time and location to meet later that morning. I finished my morning routine and smiled at myself in the mirror and said too myself for the second time today " Progress." In the heat of the moment I realized that this was probably the first real smile I had since I decided to stay behind in my home town. The last few months have been a living hell. I affirmed to myself " Everything is going to be alright, I'm okay" As I did when I woke up with tears flowing from my eyes. This time I really felt and believed every word I said and for a moment all my worries no longer existed. I was completely caught off guard and a bit suspicious because I haven't told anyone about my family situation. I have been writing a lot to help clear my mind but I never shared it with anyone. I began to feel uneasy and was wondering what else I could have forgotten . I continued with my morning routine I can't sit and think too long. today was definitely going to be full of surprises.