Race for the Roses

"Merl can't believe what she is hearing " What do you think of Merl?His question caught by surprise. " Uhmm...that.." Before she could gather her wits enough to finish the sentence, James interrupted. All the track was talking about him. how well he did today." Merl took to swallow of ice water to dispel the rock in her throat .He didn't know who she was. She stared at him, hoping to find a teasing light in his eyes. None. "I'll need a man like that." " Uh- h there are good jockey out there, too."Merl felt caught in a trap . Were finding that many times women make better riders. No. James stated an absolute. Not for me. I'll never have a woman up on one of my horses during a race. Merl inner warmth dropped to below zero. The tingles turned to icicles. Did I hear you right?Each word seemed sheathed in ice. What the matter? James shook his head ,question marks all over his face. I don't have anything against women exercising horses. But racing is too dangerous. Women just don't have the strength to control half a ton of hurtling horseflesh. Her tone was flat . Mr. Falcon , do you know what my name is?My real name? He stared at her .The silence lengthened, taut as a guitar string turned once too many times .No I don't guess I do. My name is Romelle Santillan. She watched as his eyes narrowed. "You said earlier you wanted to hire me"? Blurb I'm sorry son. but I have to leave now. But Daddy. Seven year old James Falcon looked up at his father, tears swimming in blue eyes that matched his fathers .I don't want you to go. I know son. neither I do. Leo Falcon ignored the creasing of his black pants as he knelt and gathered his son into his arms. But I have to. He tipped his son's face up with one caring finger under the quivering chin. You must be the man of our house until I come home again. Do you understand? The boy shook his head and tried to bury his face in his father shoulder. Leo kept a firm hold on his son's chin. That means you must take care of your mother and sister, keep them safe until I return. I... w -will, Daddy. The small boy straightened and touched two fingers to his forehead in the salute his father had taught him. Yes sir. His chin quivered again. One tear trickled over the curve of his round cheek .I will take care of Mama and sissy .He snapped his arm back to his side. Leo Falcon stood and returned the salute. Bye son. See you in a few months. I'll be praying for you everyday. Me too. Bye Daddy. the boy whispered as his father shoulders and back straight as the Marine Corps demanded, walked toward the waiting plane. While James felt his mother's hand on his shoulder, he never took his eyes off the plane until he could not see it no longer. Chapter 1 Wispy veils ground fog hovered over the oval track and white - fenced in field of Portland Meadows Racetrack .As Merl o Romelle Santillan trotted the bay Thoroughbred onto the sandy course , the horses galloping in front of the grandstand appeared legless. phantom creatures floating on a drifting sea . Easy fella ,she crooned her musical voice a counterpoint to the grunts of the straining horse .You can let it out later. Merl gentled him with her voice ,rising in the short stirrups to gain greater control. With the sensitive hands and perfect balance of a born horsewoman she kept the seventeen hand colt at the easy lope she knew would build the greatest endurance .As her mouth settled down to serious work, Merl glanced at the overcast sky. Do not rain. she ordered the scurrying clouds. Heavenly Father we need s good fast track, not ankle deep mud .I'm tired of wasting half of Oregon down the drain after every race. While she knew the prayer was only a hold over from early days,still it didn't hurt to invoke the name of the Almighty, in case He might be listening not that she was convinced He cared about such a mundane request. As of on cue,a silver disk of pale sun appeared low in the east floating behind thin clouds..A few strides later the cloud bank blotted it out again. When Merl and mount swept by the entry gate, she felt a tingling up her spine. The desire to turn and see who was watching her almost broke her concentration on the animal rode so effortlessly. After several more circuits of the track she pulled the steaming horse down to a sidestepping trot. Merl switched her one piece rein to her left hand so she could push her googles and wipe her dripping eyes on her other sleeve. October mornings in the Pacific Northwest had a real bite to them. In all her twenty -five years of living there , she hadn't adjusted to it. Steam billowed from the tired horse as she slowed him to a walk just before they exited for the stables. The tingling sensation rippled up her back again .Startled Merl searched every face until her violet eyes locked with electric blue gaze of a tall, broad shouldered man in a sheepskin jacket. He leaned against the fence as if he own it. Her breathing quickened as the moment stretched to include the sun breaking through just in time to set the fog droplets sparkling in his blue -black hair. The tingle spread to her middle , then up to her face .She could feel the heat warring with her chilled skin. As her horse sidestepped through the gate , Merl could still feel the man's gaze on her back. The desire to turn and look at him again ate at her mind, singing out to her fingers. She clinched her hands on the reins , willing them and herself to behave. Why she'd never even seen the guy before ,let alone met him. Who was he ? He acted as if he owned not only the track but the entire world. He'd stared at her and her horse as though they were on display just for him. Who was she? James Falcon couldn't keep his gaze off her. The petite woman rode with effortless skill of a natural rider, but that wasn't the only thing that drew his attention. He could barely see her face, hidden by the googles and racing helmet, so it wasn't that. Maybe it was the control he sensed. Control and power were entities he'd understood. He'd used both in building Falcon Inc. to its present level of success. While he fully credited his employees with implementing the team- management principles long before the concept became a buzzword, he knew the personal power it took to make everything come together. Plus the time. And the effort. Which was why he'd finally taken some time to indulge in his hobby. Thoroughbred horse racing. He came by the love horses naturally, his grandfather bred them, his uncle Josh trained them and his mother had been a steeplechase jockey_ before the accident. Now she only jockeyed her wheelchair. His gaze kept returning to the woman slow galloping her feisty mount around the track. Wouldn't you know? He shook his head .She rides Thoroughbreds. Well, he'd make sure he met her before he left, to get rid of the attraction if nothing else. Just like all the other attractive women he'd meet, once she opened her mouth, he'd lost interest. Maybe his mother was right:No flesh and blood woman could ever measure up to his fantasy of perfection. He shook his head. He was here to look for horses, and he hadn't even noticed the mount she rode. Maybe he was just tired. Or lonely. Or both. You and Willy look good friends out there princess . Josh Ricaforte the trainer Merl rode for ,took hold of the colt's bridle. I've entered the two of you in the third race day after tomorrow .If it clears off like it might you've got a real good chance. Thanks. Merl pulled herself back to the moment .He really feels ready. She concentrated on the white- haired man walking beside them .Tingles no longer tantalized the edges of her mind. Merl kick her feet free of the stirrups and slid to the cedar shaving covered walk in front of the long row of stalls belonging to John Macapuno. As Merl unhooked the cinch to the tiny racing saddle , her mind flicked back to the stranger of the fence .Wonder who he is? Why haven't I seen him around before? Questions sparked like the dew glinting in his hair. That black hair. Crisp curls,cut short to control them. Control. The word fit him. You i***t. she scolded herself. You're acting like a dopey teenager ,panting after every new boy on the block. No, not every one, she answered herself. You've had the blinders on for seven years. And I'll keep them on. What'd you say? Josh finished cross typing the steaming gelding. Nothing .Merl shook her head. I mean. You all right. The aging trainer lifted the saddle from her arms. You're acting the kinda strange. No,no . I'm fine. Or at least I will be when we get done with the workout. I'm so hungry I could eat burnt toast. Josh handed her a scraper. If you help me wash the horse down. I'll treat. "Your on. Merl stuck the scraper in the back pocket of her jeans. By the time she had Willy sponged down,Josh had her next mount,a filly saddled and ready. Now take it easy with her .He cupped his hands to boost her into the saddle ." Just loosen her up. You two are scheduled for the fourth race tomorrow. Okay. Merl slid her scuffed boosts into the the short stirrups .As Josh unclipped the tie rope,she gathered the rein in the gloved fingers and settled into the saddle. " You better have the next one ready when I get back. She grinned down at the former jockey .Or I'll order the steak and eggs special. You know, the way you eat... You'd think I'd weigh a ton .I know " Her chuckle rippled on the morning breeze ."It's my royal blood. Keeps me skinny."Skinny you ain't. Josh muttered as he patted the filly on the rump. Now get goin'. By the time the remaining horses were exercised and clipped to the hot walker, Merl had nearly asked Josh about the stranger a hundred times. Keep this up and I won't member against the inside of her teeth. Remembering those soul- searching blue eyes caused shivers to play tag up and down her spine. Who else ye ridin' for today? Josh asked as they crossed the asphalt road to the cafeteria. We'll besides the three for you. I'm up on two for Dr. Sales and one for Brandon."It'll be a good day." Josh chewed on the straw he kept in his teeth in place of the cigar he'd given up several years before. " That one for Brandon. It ain't that cantankerous gray for his?" Merl didn't answer. " Princess . Josh stopped her with a hand on her arm. You know. I know what you told me. The lectures been often enough. She straightened to her full five feet,three inches and assumed the regal bearing that had earned her the nickname. But Josh I need that ride today. My house and car payments are due,the quarterlies to Jeremie's school are coming up and so are the taxes. My so called savings account are flatter'n the bankbook since this is the beginning of the season. You know what it's like." She rammed her flying hands in her pockets. Besides that monster likes a good dry track, and I can't handle him. Yeah. if you can get him straight out the gate and he got up on the right side the bed this morning and it's the twenty- eight of May. Now Josh,Merl pulled out all the stops on her charm .You've told me over and over that I handle the hard ones with an Irishman insight. I know what those horses are gonna do before they do ". Sure and you' d use an old man's words agin' im.' Josh muttered ,but the beginnings of a smile teased the corners of his mouth. ' Oh go on, with ye. Merl lapsed into the brogue the two used when they wanted to teased . And an old man you'd be calling yourself .Old is only when.... But Princes. The man's smile disappeared . You'd be extra careful - taking no chances? I'll be careful ,she agreed .But if there's a hole to get through, she promised herself. I'll take it. I need a win. Ten percent of a couple good purses today would sure take the pressure off. Bacon and egg perfume overlaid with cigarette smoke assailed their nostrils as Josh open the cafeteria door. People relaxed around the small square tables, rehashing the morning workouts. The din crashed on their ears. Merl glanced quickly around the huge room .Disappointment settled over her. We'll whoever he was, he didn't feel the need for a coffee break or breakfast. But then what do I care? She followed Josh to the counter and automatically slid a tray onto the ledge. In slow motion she chose a grapefruit half before Josh poked her with his elbow. " Come back to the real world lass. The man wants your order. Uh oh sorry. Merl shook her head to erase the penetrating blue eyes. That we'll be fine. That'll be fine? Josh hooted as the white aproned man behind the counter shrugged .Maybe we'll be lettin' you starve if you can't pay better attention that. He nodded to the counterman. Ask her again." Do you want the special or ? The cook's grin took the sting out of the tone of his voice. He enunciated carefully as if she were slightly dim witted. All right you two. Merl forced herself to pay attention to their clowning. I'll have my usual ,one boiled egg, four minutes,two slices wheat toast, dry. Thought you said you was hungry. Josh slid his tray down the coffee urns. Something about even burnt toast sounding good. That was before. She poured herself both a glass of orange juice and a steaming cup of coffee. "Let's sit over there. She pointed to any empty table in the far corner. " Before what? Josh removed his dishes from the tray and stacked both trays on another table. Merl ignored him as she dug into the presectioned grapefruit. Lady,you sure make an exciting meal partner. Josh buttered his pancakes after the waitress delivered their hot order. A body's think you was mad or something . Nope. Merl smiled as she sipped her coffee. Just following your instructions. Getting up for the race. " Liar, the little voice perched on her shoulder scolded . You can't get your mind off that stranger .Maybe you could find him again if you ran up and down the barns and around the track. You gotta be kidding ,she muttered under his breath. What did you say?Josh forked another bit of pancake into his mouth . Merl shook his head ." Nothing . " She took a deep breath. Nothing important. You know,if I didn't know you better. Is this a seat taken? The stranger's voice was as deep as she knew it would be. James. You old coot!/Josh chair slammed to the floor when he shoved it back. He ignored the crash as he leaped to his feet and between hugs, pounded the newcomer on the back ." When you get here? About an hour ago. Your string is looking good. Here. Josh pulled out the adjoining chair before righting his own. Sit down, son, sit down. Merl felt like she'd come in at the middle of the second act at the theater. Everyone knew the action but her. One thing for certain. Her nervous system hit over load .There were no naps in sight for her nerves ends. To prove her exterior nonchalance ,she reached for her just- refilled coffee cup. Sipping the scalding brew eased the crick in her neck earned while staring at the two ecstatic men. Josh clapped a hand in her shoulder ." This here's my nephew ,you know, the one from California. I told you about him before. The names Falcon .James Falcon Those startling blue eyes twinkled at Josh's chagrin. This old buzzard forgot to tell you my name. Merl shook the proffered hand. And wished she hadn't. According to the man I asked. " he continued. they call you Princess. Merl nodded. She pulled her focus from the heat pulsing from her fingers to her wrist and up to her arm. The same heat glued her tongue to the roof of her mouth. With precise concentration, she articulated a word in spite of her useless vocal cords. Yes, her inner voice was shocked into silence by her reaction..But only for a moment . What the world ... She could feel that voice gearing up for a full- blown assault. Instead of listening, she searched James eyes. They shimmered liked high mountain lakes in the summer sun. When he smiled at her perusal ,laugh lines crinkled at he corners of his eyes and white teeth emphasized his deep tan.A tan one would never find on anyone who lived in the Salug Valley. Abruptly he released her hand and with the easy grace of a man who knows his own body, settled into the chair next to her. I watched you this morning. You ride well." " She's one of the best. Josh winked at her. I trained her just like I trained you." Do you have horses here? Merl straightened in her chair and tried for a friendly smile in her dry lips. Not yet. James leaned his elbows on the table."I'm up here looking for a farm and another string of animals. Know any that are for sale? Could be. Josh waved to the waitress to refill their cups .In fact, there are several .You thinking of moving up here? Yes .My company headquarters will remain in San Francisco but I'm ready for something different. I need a new operation. and you've always raved about the Pacific Northwest ,so here I am." Merl's eyes widened at the sheer arrogance of the man .She stared at Josh,willing him to look up at her. Instead, he drew circles in the droplets of water on the Formica- topped table .How big an operation you want". We'll since it seems to me paid for half of that Stealth fighter with the tax dollars alone. I know I need new shelters." Yeah. you and King Midas might be related...." "Not quite. But things gave gone well." " What an egotist. Merl stared from one man to the other . Only sheer willpower kept her from laughing out loud. But they were serious. A tiny nod from James made her aware that her thoughts must be showing on her face again. You planning on moving your ponies up here?Josh continued the discussion. All depends. James leaned back in his chair ,teetering on the back two legs. On." " On what's available. It would be nice to race the entire coast season .I have an appointment with the Realtor in half an hour." Your planning on staying around for a time then? Yes. James turned to Merl who carefully wiped the decision off her face." I think. I' m going to be around a lot." You about finished ,Princess. ? Josh seemed to stress the nickname. " We got a pile of work to do before the afternoon program. Merl nodded. Nice to meet you. James ."All her mother's schooling on company manners came to her aid .She smiled a formal smile that tried to hide the mischief dancing in her eyes , as she pushed back her chair. Before she could finish the action , James was on his feet behind her. He pulled out her name proclaimed. As she turned to leaved, his hand on her arm stopped her. How about dinner tonight? He turned her to face him. Her gaze started at the mother- of - pearl snap midchest on his royal blue paid western shirt ,traveled up past the springy hair showing in the open V,paused at the cleft chin and smiling lips, and then locked into his direct gaze. The tingle from the ride earlier jangled a warning over her entire nervous system .Danger! Danger! It was as if siren went off. " I don't think so. but thank you anyway. "" Come on. Princess he's safe .After all he is my nephew." But Josh." He knew she didn't date. What was the matter with him. Please ? Since Josh rarely asked anything of her, his pleading look went straight to her heart. "All right. I'd be glad to. She ignored the internal shock. Glad to? Give me a break! I only said I'd go because Josh forced me. She just barely kept herself from shaking her head. What time?He obviously didn't waste words. I'll be done with chores after seven. Come on,Princess. " Josh now commanded from the door."We got work to do. "Catch you later Josh. " James waved to his impatient relative. " Princess.... " The deep timbre of his voice held her more securely than the hand burning her arm. "What about lunch.? I can be back by then." No. She shook her head. " No time. Why?" " I'd like to see you. " " But you said dinner." I know. But that's hours away. " You don't let any grass grow under your feet ,do you? Merl took a deep breath ,hoping to calm the quivers her nearness ignited. Instead, the tang of expensive aftershave tickled her nose. No, I don't. When I see something I want I go after it". I've got to get to work." Merl 's voice softened in spite of herself ,mesmerized by the force he exuded. " Coffee ". " If you bring it to the tack room at noon. She fled to the barns, hooting in amazement at her reactions . He'll never show. Men with a line like that never do. Sucker! I thought you were off women for the duration James would like to have throttled the little voice laughing hysterically on his shoulder. True he had decided to relax by searching for a new racing string and possible farm in the Pacific Northwest. True he had given up in the quest for that perfect mythical matter inspite of his mother's pleading. And true,he had informed all friends and family to quit playing matchmaker. He slid into sit the set of his silver Porsche. Think I'll keep that appointment this morning short. There's plenty of time this afternoon .Wonder where she'd like to go for dinner. Mucking out stalls was not a job requiring any degree of concentration. It left Merl with too much time to think ,to remember. The pain was always there, just buried under the experience of seven years of balancing a life at the track with the pain of widowhood and long distance motherhood. Most days she wasn't sure which was worse . She could still see, hear, feel the day her husband left. "I can't handle it. " was all the slim- hipped, happy -go - lucky jockey had said. " I know I've not been that great a husband ,but I'm definitely not cut out to be a daddy. You know that. See ya kid, " He grinned his heart -stopping smile, touched three fingers to his slouch hat and roared off in his red Corvette. The next day the same grin greeted her from the sport's section of the evening paper Romelle Santillan Top Jockey at Portland Meadows. A day later, the same paper carried the story of his wasted death, mangled and twisted within the frame of his Vette. Along with the girl who rode beside him ... a real celebration they"d had. At eighteen she'd wanted to run, to find someplace that had no memories of Daniel. Giving up seemed an appropriate response . But the baby growing inside her deserved a chance in spite of his parents,messed' - up lives , so Merl got on with living. She bought a house with part of the insurance money so she could make a hr for her son. Jeremy she called him from the fluttering movements . While the birth' wasn't easy, the moment she first held her squirming little son in her arms was a thrill like nothing else in life. He was part of her, a new person to be surrounded with all the love her heart yearned to offer. Two months later, the doctors confirmed something Merl suspected. Handicap was a word only for the race track. It would not stigmatized her son. So much for the happily - ever- after kind of life would have seemed like happily - never after .But she was a survivor . Jeremy would be, too. Her mother reminded her far more often than she appreciated that letting God hello her would ease the pain, but the daughter would have none of it. If God cared so much , why was Jeremy born blind?If her mother wanted to pray - fine, but Merl had no desire to return to the God of her youth , the God who had let her down so badly. " What is it Princess? " Merl jumped as Josh touched her arm. Her wheelbarrow stopped with a thump. One look at her pain - punished eyes, and the trainer hustled her into an empty stall. " What's wrong.?" Something happen to Jeremy.?" " No I saw him yesterday .He's fine. I just started thinking back, and that awful pain grabbed me again. It's always back there, just waiting.....Oh Josh , why won't it go away...permanently? Tears shimmer ed at the corners of her eyes. Ach, lass.." " And part of it is Jeremy . I hate leaving him down at that school." But you'n the counselors figured it was for the best...." " Sure. The best school. The beat training . But I only see him once a week and on vacations. Mother's are supposed to be there when their kid needs them. To tuck him in at night to listen to his prayers . To kiss away his hurts. " But you can't rid the circuit and drag him along. At least for a while. " I know all thàt. But still I keep wondering . Am I doing what's best for him? Maybe I should take some office job so I can be home at regular hours. " She stared at the dirt floor for an endless moment. When she raised her face , a single tear had escaped and glistened down her curved cheek. Josh reached out with one gnarled finger and wiped the drop away. They'd been over this many times before. Come on, lass. Your supposed to be gettin' up for the race. "I know." She took a deep breath ,and like lifting a shade, her eyes cleared, her chin assumed its usual determined angle. Shoulders back another chest-expanding breath, and the Princess took over again." Thanks". Even the royal smiled returned." Don't be a worryin' yerself,auld man " Her brogue thickened to distract him. " Well" you'd be tellin' me if anything was to happen. Bushy white brows met over his eyes." Wouldn't ye?". Yes. Her shoulders sagged. " Yes.I promise. Josh stared hard into her eyes for another millennium- like second, then turned and strode out of the stall. Merl heard something like." If I could just a- got my hands on that fool Santillan..., all muttered under his breath. Whew." Merl breathed deeply, shrugging the cloud away. You know better than to look back, her inner voice scolded. It never does any good. You swore to look forward , look only at the good things that are happening. In a flash she saw blue eyes and hair glistening like the breast of a warbling blackbird. She sighed. Definitely one of the good things. But then. . no men, little voice continued .You said no man would ever cause you pain again. This once certainly could be painful if this attraction like this only happened in the movies. Merl finished dumping the loaded wheelbarrow and trundled it back to the tack room. Oh! You statled me." She leaned her back to the tack room. " Here".A steaming Styrofoam cup seemed to leap from the dimness and came to rest in her hand. Oh! You startled me." She leaned her back against the doorjamb,waiting for her heart to resume its normal beat. Without conscious thought, her body assumed a languid air. An errant sunbeam warmed her high cheekbones and sparked diamonds in the tendrils of hair that escaped the confining comb.