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The lord is forever with you

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Growing up with Christian parents has been the best thing that has happened to me.At first I couldn't understand anything. Growing up has been easy when I was a kid until my dad lost his job. He stayed 2 years without being employed. My mom had to leave college to get a job as a cleaner so we can have food. We have always been great full to the lord, what we had was small but it was better then nothing. We continued praying cause isaiah 60 verse 20 says when the time is right I the lord will make it happen. My dad got an interview in another province, he got the job, so he had to move, we couldn't move with him cause he couldn't afford yet. After few months of working, we had to move and start a new life. When continued praying everything wa well until end of the year he lost his job again. We didn't give up. All I can say is jesus was living with us in the same house cause my mom didn't have a job and my dad didn't have a job but we never slept without eating. This was a big miracle. After 6 months my mom got a job in a restaurant. The money was small but we were really great full. I went into the best government school were the school was free. After 2 years of my dad not working. He got a new friend, and his friend was attending an amazing church. He invited my dad and my dad agreed. When he got to the church the were many rooms and people who needed help. My dad went to one of the rooms and they started praying him, they told him who was closing to doors to success. They told him to pray more cause the enemy was strong very strong cause the enemy was not just nobody but family. Later they told him the person who doesn't wanna see us make it in life was my grandmother's sister. My dad started to attend the church always and things were opening. My older brother stayed at the house we stayed in before and he stayed the were always owls at the house but after my dad joined the church they started leaving. My dad got a job, and everything went to normal. Without the Lord you are nothing. Things happen for reasons weather it's good or bad.

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Close people hurt you more
Grew up with a family of 5, had a dad, mom, sister and a brother. Growing was never easy, I was always bullied. Being bullied bullied by the people you love is the worst thing ever. I was never bullied by outsiders but I was bullied by my family and friends. I was forever body shamed by friends and family, I was looked down to, I was known as the ugly girl in the family who's lazy and doesn't love herself. I never wanted to be born, I never chose to be born. I have a twin who is more recognized, and respected, I was never important. Grew up as an introvert cause I knew no one wants me close to them. Scared to date because of my insecurities, always asked myself, am I pretty, do I deserve anything, am I worth living, do I have a nice body, must I bleach my skin. Must I run away and never come back, will they look for me? must I kill myself. Last year the year of 2025 I had a big fight with my dad and he told me the most painful thing, he came back home drank and said to me to my face I'm just a stupid girl, he doesn't love me and he never did even if I commit suicide, he'll only cry for few days and continue with life, even if I run away he doesn't care. All I want is to leave . Loving myself was really hard, took me many years to get where I am. I was hurt, had friends who would speak about me behind my back, but wouldn't blame them cause I was nothing. Tried fitting in groups but was told to leave. Making friends was and still the hardest thing to do. Don't wanna stay home because of all the hate I get, but don't wanna go outside cause who would want to see someone like me. I've been calling and shouting for someone to believe realise me and save Mr from this world take me anywhere , where I won't be noticed, Gaining weight after the lock down during covid 18, like I could run and never stop running. Friends gave me names, people would tell me I must start going to gym. Why me?Why me? I just want to be invisible or appreciated.

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