The Latent Sentinel

BARELY ALIVE 2

Ethan POV:

The day at the clinic is as usual. All the appointments today are for injuries, as usual. The day after tomorrow will be my consulting day for all the new patients. It is regarding their psych evaluation or therapy. They are making immense progress. The day is progressing as usual, and I have almost finished patching all the wounded warriors. I am about to go home and grab some food when someone knocks on the door.

I see Stacey at the door with Diana, “How can I help you, Stacey? It’s nice to see you, Diana.”

“We wanted to bring in the girls for some tests next week if you have time. Also, Ethan, I have a request. Would it be OK with you if we made Saturdays just for the kids? It would not only help the parents with their anxiety. But it would be beneficial for the younglings.” Fae call their children 'younglings' the same way the shifters call their offspring pups or cubs.

I just nod as I understand where she is coming from, all of us have gone through abuse and need care. This idea would surely help the young kids. Specifically, those I have to consult separately as they are not good with bigger crowds in the waiting room.

“That sounds like a great idea, Diana. Please talk to Nina and we will work out the finer details. Once everything is properly planned. I would inform all the alphas myself. So, they can form an informed decision. They can notify everyone in the pack after we have finalized the details.”

We discussed a few more details, and they went back to the nursery. After that, the day passed by as usual, with some training injuries and a few regular checkups. I am done for the day when the last patient leaves. Nina looks exhausted too.

“Nina why don’t you go ahead and get your baby from the kindergarten, and I will close up here. Levi would be thrilled to see you. Thank you so much for today. Tomorrow you can spend time with your family and relax as I have a day off as well. It should be alright unless something happens.”

I hope nothing comes up, because I have something to do. And I can’t have anyone finding out what I am doing. They will be mad at me. And my job as a doctor here would be in jeopardy if anyone ever realized what I have been doing.

Being a doctor is the only thing I know. So, it’s scary thinking about what could happen if someone happens to stumble upon my secret. I grabbed the things I needed and left the clinic for the night. I repeated my routine and watched her through the night before the dawn approached, freezing my insides. It left me cold. I always feel like this when I have to part with her. But I promised myself that I would maintain this distance. I remind myself of all the reasons I have to stay away from her.

Today is a beautiful day. Birds are singing, and butterflies are buzzing above the colorful flowers. I would find them interesting if my life was not so bleak and colorless. I don’t have to work as I have a day off. I appreciate the free time I get, but not because I want to relax. It is because I can find a moment in time with her. It is hard to have a spare day when you work as a doctor. Though supernaturals are tougher than humans. They are more prone to violence; hence, I have a constant stream of patients who need bone adjustment or wound treatment. I have started training others in the pack just in case something happens earlier than I planned. I have a secret in my heart which I will take to my grave.

Nina and Ritz have been practicing with me for a few years now and have shown tremendous progress. Stacey has developed and improved most of the healing potions we use in the clinic. We store them at the clinic. The pack has a treasury with most of the healing potions ready to go in case of an emergency. Soon they wouldn’t need me, and I would disappear in the night. My memories will be long forgotten, and my existence will be erased. No one will remember me or cry for me. I will be a blip in their memories.

I took my leather pouch and put a small water bottle in it. I took my favorite book and put it over my shoulder, walking towards the lake. This has become my place of solace. My hell and heaven all in one. My panther Argus has been aloof for the past year. He defends me and protects the pack, but keeps to himself most of the time. The only time he seems alert and present is when we go to the lake or to the woods at night.

Argus is yowling in pain. It has become harder for him and me to keep living with all the pain. He and I are holding on to it. It will be easier to give and get lost in the pain. But it has a purpose. It connects us to her. It is some kind of emotion to feel other than the nothingness, which is my existence; but it makes us weak. We are almost on the brink of endangering ourselves to a certain death. Even so, it’s our only hope. A sense of dreamy peace so I tuck the greenish liquid in my bag. I held the bag closer, walking farther away toward the lake.

Early summer makes the pack blossom with beautiful wildflowers and greenery surrounds us. Ray, Dia, and Ritz spend way too much time here in the meadow growing new trees and planting new plants. They have transformed this rescue center into a lovely home. Pack has grown happy and healthy after the girls came into our lives. I remember when I saw them first. They looked broken and hurt but had a fire burning deep within their eyes. The fire forged them and formed them into the amazing leaders they are now for this pack.

Argus moans in pain, so I quicken my pace, trying to reach my destination as quickly as possible. Finally, I see the trees growing closer and the forest becomes denser. I do not sense anything familiar around me notifying me that we are farther away from the safety of my pack. I have walked out of the confines of our borders; everything looks barren and deserted. The surrounding atmosphere symbolizes my life. No one would be happy if they realized where I was.

I quickly found the hidden cave which had become my home more than my own cottage. I have spent most of my free time here since that day. There is a thin mattress and a duvet that has her memories and scent. Everything has lost her presence but knowing she was here gives me peace. I put my book and bag in place. I slowly strip and drink the greenish potion. Pain binds me, it wraps around me like a poisonous snake suffocating its prey. It twists my insides. I collapse on the floor dreaming and relieving my pain and my happiness. I writhe in pain while my mind wanders in the distant past.