A Shadow of an Illusion

Chapter 28

Menrui’s Point of View

Days passes by, and I could see the change that was happening to Cynth. Hindi na siya pala-sigaw hindi kagaya ng dati, binibigyan na rin niya ng chance ang mga tauhan niya kapag may ginagawa itong mali, at higtit sa lahat, hindi na siya kasing higpit hindi kagaya ng dati.

Naririnig ko rin ang usapan sa loob ng palasyo dahil sa biglaang pagbabago ng kanilang Emperor. Mukhang kagaya ko no’ng una, hindi rin sila sanay sa pagbabago na nakikita nila kay Erebus, ah no I should call him to his real name.

He said that, right? That I should call him with his real name, and even if I do not knwow the real reason behind it, I still insisted on calling him Cynth. Kahit na minsan, nakalilimutan ko rin na iyon na pala ang dapat kong itawag sa kaniya.

It sounds weird, really. After all, the people around me kept on calling him Emperor or Erebus, and it sounds so really weird whenever I tried to call him by his real name whenever someone is around, especially Grim who had that unexplainable smile on his face whenever he saw me with Erebus, or rather Cynth.

Napailing na lang ako dahil kahit sa isip ko, nagkakamali pa rin ako sa pagtawag sa kaniya. Kailangan ko na talagang sanayin ang sarili ko na tawagin siyang Cynth dahil sa tingin ko, mas magtatagal pa ang pamamalagi ako sa mundong ito dahil sa kaniya.

I stopped because of that thought. Did I really just said that I will stay longer because of him, and not because of my mission? Did I really just thought that this kind of feelings between us could change anything?

I shook my head again. No, I should not have thought of that. I should not make myself overthink again because of him. I could not afford to break down in front of Hemera again because I know, even if she did not tell me, she was having a hard time too because of my problems.

And I should not really give her more problem than she ever have now. Marami na siyang iniisip at nasisigurado ko na mas dadami pa ang problema niya kung pati iyong akin ay isipin na rin niya.

I sighed because of the countless thoughts that started to flood my mind. Great. Now I am overthinking again even if I just told myself that I should not really do that. Dapat talaga, laging occupied ang utak ko sa ibang bagay dahil nagsisimula lang naman ako magkaganito at mag-isip nang mag-isip kapag wala akong ginagawang ibang bagay.

Dahil ayaw ko na rin namang sumakit ang ulo ko dahil sa dami ng mga bagay na nasa isip ko, napagdesisyunan ko na lang na magbasa na lamang ng libro na nakita ko sa loob ng kwarto ko. Kahit na hindi ako interesado sa topic ng libro na iyon, pinilit ko pa rin ‘yon na basahin para malibang ang isip ko.

I was halfway through that book and I was already getting bored because I already knew what would happen in the story, when I heard a knock on my door. Napatingin ako roon at napakunot ang noo ko dahil pinipilit kong isipin kung sino ang taong nasa kabilang bahagi ng pinto ko.

At dahil hindi ko na rin naman maisip kung sino ang taong kumatok sa pinto ko, mas minabuti ko na lang na pumunta at tignan kung sino iyon. I went to open my door and I got shock because I saw Cynth behind it and it looks like he was about to knock again but then I already opened the door, that is he just awkwardly waved his hands at me.

Nitong mga nakaraang araw, napapansin ko ang pagbabago sa pagkilos ni Cynth, at minsan pa nga, katulad ng nangyari ngayon, he was awkward because he must have realize that what he just did was so out of character for him.

“Hey,” pagbati niya sa akin.

I did not realize that a small smile started to form on my lips because I saw how he gave me a shy smile as if he was nervous and awkward because of what just happened. He really acts so adorable sometimes.

I stopped and laughed to myself because of that thought. Now, I even think that he is adorable. If this is not me, falling for him even more, I do not know how to explain that I found him so adorable earlier.

“Hi!” I greeted him and then i looked around. “Aren’t you busy today? Wala ka bang kailangang gawin kaya naisipan mo ulit na pumunta rito sa kwarto ko?” tanong ko sa kaniya.

Nitong mga nakaraang araw kasi, lagi siyang pumupunta rito kapag wala siyang ginagawang kahit ano. Mukhang ganoon na nga rin ang nangyayari ngayon dahil nakita ko na mas lalong lumapad ang ngiti sa labi niya at tumango siya.

“Yeah. I wanted to spend my extra time with,” he said and I stopped my heart from pounding so fast. “If that is alright with you, that is,” he even added.

“Of course.” I nodded my head at him and then I opened my door widely. “Wala rin naman akong pinagkakaabalahan sa loob ng kwarto ko kaya okay lang na pumunta ka rito.”

Also, whenever I am talking to him, somehow, my worries are disappearing even if it was just a short period of time. It felt like I have forgotten that we were taking a different path, and whenever he was around and talking to me, I am starting to think that we are just a normal couple and not a two people who have a problem because of their beliefs.

“Ano nga pala ang pag-uusapan natin ngayon?” I asked him. “Knowing you, this is not just spending time with me, and I think that there is a deep reason behind this.”

Nitong mga nakaraang araw kasi, napapansin ko na kapag gusto niyang makipag-usap sa akin ay may iba pa siyang rason kung bakit niya ako gustong maka-usap. And now, I think that it was the same because I saw how he smiled at me as if he thought of that ‘reason’ I was just talking about to him.

“About that,” he said, excitedly, and it does not even shock me now because I already saw many sides of him these past few days. “I am now allowing you to go out of the palace without any knights or maids that was following you.”

My eyes widen because of what he said. Natuwa ako nang sobra kaya naman tinanong ko siya, “Is that for real?”

He smiled at me and then he nodded his head. “Yeah. I am not kidding you or anything. This is really the truth.”

Napapalakpak ako dahil sa sinabi niya. “Thank you!” sabi ko pa sa kaniya.

No’ng mga araw kasi na may kasama akong knight at maid, well except that time when Hemera was the one who accompany me, hindi ko nagagawa ang lahat ng gusto ko dahil feeling ko, laging may nakasunod na tingin sa akin. Feeling ko, lahat ng gagawin ko ay sasabihin nila kay Cynth kahit na wala naman talagang meaning ang ibang mga ginagawa ko.

“It is nothing,” he said then he waved his hands as if he is dismissing the topic. “Promise me one thing though.”

Agad naman akong tumango sa kaniya bilang pagsang-ayon kahit na hindi pa niya sinasabi kung ano iyon. “What is it?”

“Be careful because someone might kidnap you again if you don’t.” Nakita ko ang takot sa mga mata niya kaya naman nginitian ko siya.

“I promise to take care of myself.” And that made him let out a sigh of relief.

“Great.” Umayos siya ng pagkakaupo bago niya ako ipinagsalin ng tea na dinala ng isa sa mga maid niya kanina. “Then we should talk about something else now.”

With that, we started to talk about random things that we could come up. May time pa nga na parehas kaming tumatawa dahil sa mga pinagsasasabi namin. My mind is not thinking about my worries anymore and it was all because of him, and his presence.

“You know,” I told him after a few minutes of silence. Nakita ko ang pagtaas ng kilay niya kaya naman itinuloy ko ang sasabihin ko. “You should try to change yourself. What I mean is go back to your past self. The one who was living his normal life on the country.”

I saw him look away because of what I said, but I still insist to pursuade him to change. Nakikita ko kasi na may puso pa rin naman siya para sa mga taong nakapaligid sa kaniya, kaya naman hindi imposible na maibabalik niya ang dating siya.

“That will be hard, Menrui. You know the things that I have done in this world,” sabi niya sa akin at nararamdaman ko ang kalungkutan na nararamdaman niya ngayon. “Do you really think that i can really bring back my past self?” That was the time that he looked into my eyes.

I sighed then I went to sit on his side. I grabbed his hand to soothe his heart. “You are kind, Cynth,” sabi ko sa kaniya habang nakatingin nang diretso sa mga mata niya. “If you will try, I know that you will succeed on bringing back your past self.”

Alam ko na hindi pa huli ang lahat para sa kaniya. Nakikita at nararamdaman ko iyon, dahil nitong mga nakaraang araw, nakita ko na may puso pa rin siya para sa mga tao. Nakikita ko na kayang-kaya niyang magbago kung gugustuhin niya. Nakikita ko na maitatama pa niya ang lahat ng pagkakamali na nagawa niya.

“Do you really think that I can do that?” he asked me and his voice became so small.

I wanted to hug him but I stopped myself. HInawakan ko na lamang ang kamay niya nang mahigpit na para bang pinapalakas ko ang loob niya na kaya niyang gawin ang sinabi ko. I know that he can if he will just try.

“Yes, you can.”

After that, we got silent again and I did not bother to talk to him anymore. Nakikita ko kasi na pinag-iisipan niya nang mabuti ang sinabi ko, kaya naman mas minabuti ko na lamang na pagmasdan siya habang nakahawak pa rin ang kamay ko sa kamay niya.

He does not talk to me anymore until he decided to leave my room. Dahil naalala ko na pinayagan na niya akong lumabas ng palasyo nang walang kasama, sa isip ko ay kailangan ko pa ring sabihin sa kaniya na gusto kong maglakad-lakad sa labas ng palasyo ngayon.

“I wanted to roam around on the village that was near your palace,” I told him when we reached the door of my room. Napatigil siya at napatingin sa direksiyon ko kaya naman nagsalita ulit ako. “Ilang araw na rin kasi akong hindi nakakalabas magmula no’ng nakapasok ang mga ninja sa palasyo mo. And I think that it was already safe for me to go out. Iyon ay kung papayagan mo lang naman ako.”

Sa isip ko, kailangan niyang pumayag sa gusto ko dahil may plano akong gawin. Kailangan kong magawa iyon dahil ang paraan na iyon ay makapagliligtas sa mundong ito nang walang kahit isa sa amin ang nagsa-sakripisyo ng kaniyang buhay.

Pinakatitigan niya ako nang maigi bago siya tumango na ikinatuwa ko. “Yes, you can.” I grinned at him, but it was turned into a shock when I felt him mess my haid. “But you have to keep your promise that you will be careful out there.”

Agad naman akong tumango sa kaniya bilang pagsang-ayon. After all, I can easily defend myself. Hindi ko na muli uulitin ang nangyari no’ng pumasok ang mga ninja sa palasyo niya. Kaya lang naman ako nadakip ng mga ninja na ‘yon ay dahil hinayaan ko na sina Hemera ang kalabanin nila.

This time, I will be more careful than I ever was, so that no one will be hurt like that again. Nalaman ko kasi na naubusan ng stamina sina Hemera at Fawn no’ng araw na ‘yon kaya hindi nila ako nagawang iligtas. Iyon rin ang naging dahilan kung bakit kailangan nilang sabihin kay Cynth ang nangyari sa akin para siya ang pumunta at ang magligtas sa akin.

I do not know if I should thank them because when Cynth had saved me, that was the time that my mind became in chaos. I do not know what to do that is why I was still going on with the flow, even now.

At hindi na maaring maging go with the flow lang ako sa buong oras na namamalagi ako rito sa loob ng palasyo niya. Kailangan kong mag-isip ng paraan para magawa ko iyon. He just gave me a best plan that we could have in order for this world to be free; without anyone dying that is.

“I will,” I told him as I nodded eagerly.

“Then you should go now, so that we can have a dinner together later.” That was all that he said, and then he left me in the hallway.

Ako naman ay agad na pumunta sa pinto palabas ng palasyo. Hindi ko na pinansin pa ang mga tingin ng mga tauhan ni Cynth dahil sa kagustuhan kong makalabas ng palasyo agad para magawa ko na ang nasa isip ko.

And when I finally got out of the palace, I immediately went to that forest where Elysium and i met. I needed to tell her something. I needed to tell her that we could have another plan that does not recquire any bloodshed.

Ang plano na iyon ay ang baguhin si Erebus at gawing si Cynth, ang taong dati ay normal na namumuhay sa mundo na ito. Ang tao na may malasakit sa kapwa niya. Si Cynth na ibinaon niya sa limot para makapaghiganti sa mga taong sinasabi niyang ang tunay na may dahilan kung bakit namatay ang kaniyang ama.

If I could pursuade Elysium that he can really change, then we do not have to go to war anymore. We can save this world without anyone dying. We can set them free without anyone sacrificing their selves.

Alam ko na magiging mahirap ang pagkumbinsi ko kay Elysium, pero gagawin ko ang lahat ng paraan na alam ko para mailigtas ang mundo na ito. At para na rin hindi na ako maguluhan pa kung ano ba talaga ang dapat kong gawin.

I will try to pursuade everyone that he can change to become a better person. The person that was once lives in this world normally. Gagawin ko ang lahat ng ito para wala nang masaktan pa at mamatay dahil sa labanan na maaaring maganap sa mundong ito.

I was about to enchant a spell so that I could contact Elysium and tell her to go in the portal immediately, but I was shock when I saw Helix appeared on the very same spot where the portal that Elysium had made for me when I first arrived here.

Dahil sa gulat ko, napatanong ako sa kaniya. “Helix? Ikaw ba talaga ‘yan?” I asked him to confirm if he was really Helix.

Mukhang nagulat siya sa akin at mukhang hindi rin niya inaasahan na naririto ako dahil sa expression ng mukha niya, pero makalipas ng ilan pang mga minuto, nakabawi rin siya sa gula niya at binati ako.

“Menrui!” He shouted my name and was about to hug me but I refused him so he just resort on messing my hair. “It was so nice that I could see you outside of Erebus’ palace.”

Tinitigan ko siya nang mabuti bago ko inilipat iyon sa portal na ngayon ay pawala na, at pagkatapos ay ibinalik ko muli ang tingin ko sa kaniya. I frowned because I am trying to figure out why he is here again. I thought that Elysium already said that she will take care of him? Then what the h*ck is happening right now?

“Is there something wrong?” he asked, concerned because of the frown on my face.

I just shook my head to tell him that nothing is wrong, even though that something was really wrong, pero mas pinili ko na lang na manahimik dahil wala rin naman mangyayari kung sasabihin ko sa kaniya ang napansin ko. He will just lie to me, and I know that he will never tell me the truth.

“Then that is great,” sabi niya sa akin at inayos niya ang ginulo niyang buhok ko. “Pero ano nga pala ang ginagawa mo rito sa loob ng gubat?”

Dahil sa tanong niya, naaalala ko na dapat ay hahanap ako ng paraan para maka-usap si Elysium, pero mukhang hindi ko iyon magagawa dahil nandito siya sa tabi ko. But I really have to tell my plan to them though. Paano ko naman kaya magagawa iyon?

I looked at Helix and an idea came into my mind. I can just tell him my plan, right? Kahit naman nagdududa ako sa kaniya, malalaman at malalaman pa rin naman niya kung ano ang plano ko. Alam ko kasi na sasabihin din ni Elysium sa kanila ang lahat.

“Actually, I wanted to somehow change the plan,” I said that made him frown.

“Bakit mo naman babaguhin ang plano?” he asked, confused.

Nagsimula akong sabihin sa kaniya ang mga nangyari nitong mga nakaraang araw. I looked down so that I will not be able to see his face because I am still afraid that he will judge me because of this sudden change of plan.

“You see,” I told him when i finally finished telling him everything that had happened in the palace. “We can still change him, then we can already finish the terror that this whole world felt. Also, no one will die in this plan.”

Hindi pa rin ako natingin sa kaniya kaya hindi ko nakita kung ano ba ang expression ng mukha niya. I was about to tell him something again so that I could pursuade him that this plan will work, but I was stopped when he talked.

“I think I have to do something.”

Dahil sa gulat ko sa biglang pagbabago niya sa usapan namin, napatingin ako sa kaniya pero laking gulat ko nang makita ko na wala na siya sa harapan ko.

I frowned and I was still shock because Helix suddenly left, and there, I was left inside the forest thinking of what the h*ck did just happened?