Chained To The Past

Sarah walked to the house, struggling with the grocery bags that were twice her size. She had finally been able to stock up her new house and decorate it to her taste. It felt really good to finally live alone after spending years with three roommates. She enjoyed the peace and quiet of the house and the fact that she could actually hear herself think in contrast to her shared apartment back in college where she couldn't go a second without hearing a squeal or an “oh my God, he's so hot." Her roommate has been fangirls of any and every hot boy band on the planet and it wasn't like she judged them or thought she was better than any of them. As a matter of fact, she loved them dearly and all of them stayed like sisters. It was just that she had passed that phase and those years were behind her now. She has been forced to grow up after the incident happened. Sarah in the past had been wild. She had spent the better years of her high school being that girl. She missed the thrill and excitement it brought to have friends that shared your mind set. As a matter of fact, back in school, her mindset was the mindset of every one of her friends. Whatever she thought was what they thought and what she said was the law. Anyone who went against her had better change school or else they were as good as dead. She missed how it felt to be worshiped, to be sought after. Sarah had been the standard, beauty standard and coolness standard. Her long strawberry blonde hair had turned heads during that senior year and her bright blue eyes always captivated the soul of every one she spoke to. Her face was the perfect shape and her red lips were the focus of every boy who stood within two feet of her. What drew even more attention were the round and full breasts that took their place proudly on her chest. She has worn them like trophies and worn clothes to show them off. The curves were in the right places and it seemed like God had taken a different day to create her. Everyone wanted to be her friend and would basically do anything to be in her good books. It seemed it had affected her ability to discern between good and bad. Everyone on the outside had thought she had the perfect life, but the sad reality was that it was the opposite. Right on cue, her phone rang and she reached into her bag before remembering it was in her coat. Dread filled her as she looked at the caller ID and took everything in her to not launch her phone across the room to avoid picking up the call but she knew that the caller would just look for another way to get to her and frustrate her. “Hello? Ana, are you there?" She closed her eyes as she heard the voice. One she had been dreading for months. She had no idea she picked up the call and she instantly regretted it because she was thinking of a way to ignore it. “What do you want? I'm busy." The caller scoffed. “I didn't raise you like that, young lady. That is no way to speak to your mother." That statement was more than enough for a good laugh. Mother? “I don't have time for this. What do you want?" She used her free hand to move the grocery out of the way. She would deal with them later but for now, she had a more annoying issue to deal with.. “Anyway, I'll ignore your attitude and go straight to the point. My house rent is due already and I need money for some other things." Other things like drugs… but she didn't say that out loud. The shorter this conversation was, the better for her mental health. “Don't you go and look for jobs? All you do is sit at home all day and ask me for money. Maybe if you went out and did something with your life, you won't sit at home and waste." Her “mother" stayed quiet on the other side of the line. That outburst was just a little of what she actually had to say to her. “Seems like you have a lot to say to me. Why don't I come over to LA and you say it to me over a nice long coffee chat? " “I'm busy." She quickly ended the call and felt a weight lifted from her shoulder. That woman had been the bane of her existence since she became a teenager. Other people had been proud of their moms while hers made her life a living hell.. From asking her to serve her ‘visitors' whenever they came over every night, to condoning the beating she got after the visitors reported to her mum that she had been violent and disrespectful when they tried to touch her. After that, she had begun accepting whatever came her way. After all, she had begun to grow up and she could handle it. Then it graduated to being sent to get the drugs. That was when she realized that her mother didn't really care about her. She could have been r***d or even worse, killed for the massive debt that her mother owed them. But when they had come knocking down the door asking for their money, her mother had willingly given her up for them to take as collateral. Even the man had been disgusted at her and asked the mother to pay them with cash and not her own child. That night, she had gotten a beating for not being valuable and not being able to help in the family. Her mother called her a liability and a worthless child because she felt Sarah brought her just as much pain as her father had while they were still together. She stood up from the couch and faced the groceries. Anything to distract her from her sad life.