The Lost Wolf

Chapter 7

AVA’S POV

            Alex came over this morning to discuss wedding plans.  He has asked for our wedding to be held in three months.  Three months?! I just don’t feel that this is enough time.  We can probably pull everything together within that time frame, but I’m just not ready.  It all just feels rushed.

            Does he feel my doubt towards this marriage, is that why he is rushing things?  I know I have unknowingly been pulling away since the first night I went to the forest.  I have tried getting things back to normal, but maybe he has felt a little resistance from me. 

            I tried explaining that we needed a little more time, but he is rather insistent on this that I found myself giving in to what he wanted.  What was I thinking?!  I know for me that this is just too soon.  Why do I always give in to his wants and needs while always ignoring mine?

            It always seems to be that way with us.  I don’t usually notice what I am doing till after he leaves and it is at that point, too late.

            Of course, my parents agreed with him about the time frame.  Why does it seem that no one listens to me?  It makes me feel so alone sometimes.

            Luckily, I am meeting Kristen shortly for coffee at our favorite coffeehouse on Main Street.  She should be able to lend me her ear on this matter.  She has always been my sounding board, and the one person who does not push me to do anything out of my comfort zone.

            “Thank goodness you’re here, I have news to share with you on my wedding planning.”

            “I’m all listening ears,” she says as she sits down quietly in her seat and listening attentively to what I am about to share with her.

            “Well first and foremost, he wants to get married in three months, and of course I agreed to do it.”

            “I thought you said that you were hoping to wait a year or two.  Three months seems rather quickly, don’t you think?”

            “I do,” I reply glumly as I look down at my coffee. “It’s what he really wants thought, and I do want to make him happy.  I guess what’s the difference between three months and one year.  It is still the same outcome, us happily married.”

            “Yes, but the last time we spoke, I could tell that you weren’t quite ready for marriage.  There is no rush.  Take your time and create the wedding of your dreams.  He will understand if he genuinely loves you.”

            “Please think about yourself for once, you are always putting his wants before your own,” she pleads with me.

            “You’re right.  I know, but I just want to make him happy.”

            “Just think about it please.  I will support you with no matter what you decide.  I love you; you are my best friend and I just want to look out for your best wishes.”

            I know she is right, but I don’t think I’ll be able to sway his mind on this matter.  He was rather insistent on having the wedding in three months, and not one year.  Maybe I could convince him to wait six months.  I think that would be a fair concession on this matter.

            As I enjoy my coffee while listening to Kristen talk about her new boyfriend who she just started dating, my body begins to feel alive.  I suddenly feel complete and alert to my surroundings.

 I begin to look around to what is causing these feelings within me.

            And as soon as I start to look around the room, I see him, staring at me.  His stunning blue eyes, which feels like it is breaking through my soul.  The stranger who I met in the forest just that one day.  It feels almost like a lifetime ago even though I have not been able to get him out of my mind since then.  I seem to find myself absentmindedly thinking about him.

            A sudden urge sweeps through me to be near him and to touch him, but I force those thoughts away.  It is painful to look away, but I know that I should for Alex who I love and have loved since we were young.  I keep reminding myself that these feelings will go away because this stranger is not my true love, but only Alex is and will ever be.

            I cannot be near him.  I have been having a hard-enough time focusing back on Alex since that night.  I cannot have the temptation creeping through me again for him.  I must leave now.

            I suddenly jolt out of my chair and rush towards the door.  Kristen seems startled at the sudden outburst from me which is unusual behavior from myself.

            “Where are you going?!” I hear her call after me from our table.

            “I, uh, just realized I left some important papers at the clinic which I needed to look through this weekend.”

            “Hold on right here, let me go grab my coffee and I will walk with you to your office.”

            Luckily, I did plan on grabbing a few things from the clinic before I went home tonight so it’s not exactly like I am lying to her.

            Why is he in town?  I have never seen him before in town. Why now?!  I have had enough doubt going through me lately, and well this is just going to make me feel even more confused.  Especially with how my body reacts just being near him.

            This makes no sense to me.  Why does my body feel crazy just being near him? 

            “Okay, let’s go Ava.  Next time, you don’t have to jolt up so suddenly.  That was um, a little strange to be honest and completely out of character of you.”

            My body feels like I am betraying myself as I move away from him and is pleading with me to turn back. 

            Suddenly my body relaxes, and I just know that he is behind me.  Then I suddenly feel his hand reach for mine.  It leaves a spark that radiates through me internally and has me pleading with me to turn around and grab him.  This is ridiculous.  Why is my body betraying Alex for this unknown person to me?