Melancholy

Chapter 17

The instant you decide to see everythinga s a gift. Appreciate everything that comes up through your life, every single little thing. When you decide to see every circumstances and challenge us a blessing, rather than a curse, the very instant you became conscious to the fact that everything is as it should be, and know that fighting what is insane.

The last rule she wrote before she finish her exam was about "Fall Forward" she was like; most of the people always say "make sure you have something to fall back on" but she's different, she don't even understand that consept. She never used that consept to build her life. Despite the fact they she's opposite of it, cuz if you fall back on something you'll be drowned by that something behind you. Somethime it was a darkness, a shadow, that covers your light. She said: she didn't wanna fall back on anything, if she did really wanna fall, she'll be always choose to fall forward. And this is why everyone needs to fall forward. It's because if you fall back, you would never reach the top, but if you fall forward, you'll figured out at least what you where going to hit. You should never fall back on anything. At least you'll hid every single little thing at your front. If you fall forward you can dream at least small. But if you fall back you'll never reach your dreams. Dream small, or not at all, so you should keep falling forward. And remember, dreams without goals... are just dreams. It's okay to fail sometimes, at least you fall forward hence you tried and after that you failed, and didn't tried again, that's worst. Keep falling forward. Every failed experiments are much more closer to success, although you failed a thousand times, think about the one thousand and first, imagine that it will be perfect. In every failure, you should learn and proceed along. Fall forward. You will fail at some point at your life and accept in, you will loss, you will embarrass yourself, you will suck at something, there's no doubt about that. Accept it like a blessing, learn from it and inevery failure, keep falling forward.

Giving herself the most wonderful rules for her is the way for her to keep going and living a great day. As always, she have done a lot of mistakes hence she still keep standing. She didn't feel drowned at some point because of her rules. Having a rule of your own bountiful life is much more healthy life than ever. Considered as outstanding student, it's because others see how beautiful the person is, not just from outside, but more from inside.

The school bell rang together with the lost dot she need to finish her exam. She stood up and pick up her bag and test paper to give it to her teacher, her classmates made a loud chatting noise with the school bell as her teacher told her something while giving her test paper. She can't barely hear it, perhaps her teacher say it aloud. "Let's talk in faculty room" – said that teacher, she nodded her head as she agreed and walk at the side of the door way and waited. While her phone vibrated once again but this time she took it off her bag and answer it.

"Quinn, honey can you go home early today?" Her stepmom asked modestly.

" I just need to talk to my teacher and I can go home early, I'll pick up Ivory so we can have a ride together" she answered aloud as the other students was so noisy, she was covering her another ear while her phone lays and the other side to hear her stepmom clearly.

"Okay honey I'll cook something for you" her mom responded and hanged up the call.

Her teacher suddenly emerged at her front and stroked her shoulder while smiling so widely, her thoughts began to change as her teacher looked like an angel.

"Come on Harris, I have some stuffs to tell you"

They started to walk outside at the hall way bound to the faculty room. As they arrived, a room full of books and some computers bursted at her. She got amazed by how aesthetic was the room is, more about the books as she loved to read it. She got attracted by a dazzling ray of light reflecting at the window with a long vines hanging on it with flowers around. She felt jubilant "this was so beautiful" as she said through her mind.

" You've been so genius since then" her teacher emerged, tapping her back looking up to the beautiful view of the afternoon scenery.

"I wonder how your mom taught you" she annexed.

" I~I don't have a mom" Quinn replied nervously.

" Where is she?" Her teacher asked as she looked at Quinn.

Quinn suddenly looked up from the window and peak through the sky and say "she's gone, I'd never seen her, I'm the reason why she's dead"

Her teacher got shocked on what did she told as the cold wave of the wind caresses her face and a misty eyes formed at the middle of the bird chirping.

Upon the day that she once realized that her mom was dead, the day that she born, she always blaming her self throughout the years passed and no one ever noticed. Shi didn't have any single talk about it till her teacher asked. But afterwards she didn't let that ruin her life given by her mom from suffer. She think that if she wasn't born, Ivory wouldn't loss her mother and so they'll have beautiful life, maybe today if she's not living, Ivory won't feel sad having wicked stepmother, maybe Ivory won't shout at her dad every day, maybe Ivory and her family was happy. Suddenly a tear ran down from her eyes. She wiped it using her hands and formed a fake smile. A flower won't grow in no one planted it.

A minute after talking to her teacher, she ambles down the stairs of highschools building. The place was so quiet as she leaned at the corrindor of one of the room at that stair. She saw there were just few people walking around the court at the front of their building. Though she thinks if Ivory was not at the school anymore, she would go home alone. She walk back once again down stairs while her heat was slowly pounding without knowing why. She took a step once again but a strange heavy feeling hit her but she still proceed along. She took few more steps but she's running out of breath, though she didn't let her self bothered from searching Ivory so she still tried to walk down. A while after she can't resist it anymore, she slowly fel down and sat at the stair, she tried to get her tumbler of lemon juice but she heard foot steps coming from down stairs. She quickly stood up and walked once again like nothing happened. A glance of tiger eyes hit her hard as that man ignores him although she's owing from deep feeling she was in. Though, Quinn was so scared walking down but didn't have any attraction on to it.