Save Your Tears

Isn't it beautiful? being submerged under a blue haven. It is so peaceful here. The only light peaking is the sun's rays that dare penetrate the ocean's surface. I wish to stay here forever, unmoving and utterly peaceful. I can hear my sister call me all the way from her room, and I know I must return now. I swim upwards in a few motions; I'm on the surface of the still water. I can stay underwater for however long I must wish but as an heir I have certain duties to fulfil. My family is as average as you'd expect, nothing out of the ordinary except just your casual bloodsuckers who prey on humans. However, I claim to be above that habit. My appetite is ridiculously low and I have barely any cravings or energy to go hunting. A lowly tiger or bear suffices to keep me alive. If anything, I am the one who is not ordinary in this family. My mother worries her wits about for my mate but I have yet to find one. Our coven mingles with a few others but we mostly keep to ourselves. As a Noelivian we are considered royalty here but there are others just as powerful and influential. The coven Hogarlin is our closest ally. We go way back to the centuries; we count on them to stay loyal to us and to promise us alliance if a war breaks out. Chances rise every day with the atrocities that the worst of us create. Where there is good there is evil and unfortunately in a world where humans have no knowledge of an entire universe that can erase them from existence if need be is a great responsibility to upkeep. My thoughts are interrupted when I hear her call me again, I make my way back towards the inner gate and glide across the courtyard to reach my sister Myra polishing silver. "Brother where have you been? I've been bored out of my wits! See, look what I'm doing to pass time" She pushes the fork rather aggressively in my direction and I flinch in response. "Let us do something fun Dorian please. We must visit our friends from Hogarlin and attend their party this evening ". She begs me while trying her best to not be whiny. "Okay Myra". I emphasise to put an end to it; my little sister is rather the social butterfly and I'm quite the opposite. Parties and gathering are an overstimulating nightmare for me, being able to sense emotions and control them is much worse as the former comes first. I walk around the stairs and rush to my room in my drenched clothes, father will definitely give me an earful for making a mess but let's hope he ignores it. I unbutton my white dress shirt instantly and unbuckle my belt to let my trousers fall to the floor. I walk towards the closet and pick out a loose t-shirt and trousers to wear. I catch a reflection of myself in the ridiculously large mirror my mother insisted I needed in my room and stare. My light brown hair wet and messy falling around my forehead curling by the nape, eyes the same shade of brown. Yet dark hollows underneath them mark my change in appetite, my skin pale and blank with no scars, bruises or wrinkles in sight. A decent pro of being a creature like me I suppose. Behind my eyes I see no thoughts or worries not even a tint of pungent ruby red, what is wrong with me I wonder as I hear my mother approach my room. I quickly dress and open my door before she gets to. "Where were you this morning Dorian? Your father brought a decent wagyu from the Hogarlins." Ah yes while we may consume humans, we try to savour them instead of maintaining a diet of solely humans. "He waited for me? That's new." I scoff. "Oh, give him a break Dorian, your father expects so much of you he cherishes you the same as your sisters so dearly my darling." I can sense I've hurt her and she meant every word she spoke. "I'm sorry mother, I don't know what's gotten into me, no matter how much I'm loved no matter how much I've swam or sunk or become nothing fills the pit in my heart, it's like a never-ending hole that just feels bare and alien like it's not even mine mother". I lay on my bed and regret everything that just left my mouth knowing exactly which direction she's going to take this into. "Well, we know exactly what will do Dorian, the Zak coven has a beautiful daughter and she's expressed her admiration of you plenty times now, why don't you give her a chance son?". "I would rather kill myself over and over again than to settle for a mate given to me rather than being my muse". I snap at her. "Don't speak such nonsense, Myra told me you're going to the party at the Smiths. Try to be more present dear, be like your sister". With that she scurries out of my room before I can snap another response and I'm left alone with my thoughts again. I can sense she's desperate for me to find a mate soon, my elder sister Val already has one and my little sister is on the move for hers too. Vampires my age at 280 years old have found theirs a while back. One must assume a man like me with such wealth and poetic charm would be immune to celibacy, yet here I am writing my poems in my diary again, I glide the pen across the parchment and write. "In the middle of the night Where there's no light to guide me And no virtue to seek me I lay bare under the pretence of an assumption I hope to attain what can't be mine Universe itself made sure of my misery Where my light is in a dark cellar I fall on my feet Reach for the cracks in the door Taking in the warmth of the hues After all this is all, I get"