A Love to Burn

Kabanata Isa

“Ah, more!”

Kumunot ang noo ko nang pagbukas ko pa lang ng pinto ay may mga ungol na kaagad akong narinig. Humawak ako sa aking magkabilang sentido nang mapagtanto kung ano ang nangyayari. My roommate was at it again!

“Is it okay to do it here?” Humahangos ang boses ng lalaking nagsalita. Hindi ako pamilyar sa boses na iyon, ibang lalaki na naman ba ito?

“Of course, my roommate isn’t here so – ah! f**k, yes! You hit the spot!”

I inhaled, then exhaled before I opened the switch of the lights with force. Nadatnan ko ang hindi kanais-nais na scenario nang dumako ang mga mata ko sa sala. Fantasia, my roommate was on top of a man and the man was lying down on MY sofa! Their bodies were both soaked in sweat and they didn’t have any clothes on! Take note, they were doing it on MY sofa! I was the one who bought it! Pero hindi ko na ‘ata kayang upuan iyon ngayon nang hindi naalala ang itsura ni Fantasia at ng lalaking inuwi niya rito sa shared apartment namin!

“Fann, Aimes-tu ça?” The man whispered in my friend’s ear while their bodies were still grinding with each other. He was speaking in the French language and he was asking Fantasia if she liked what they were doing.

Pumikit ako nang mariin. I already opened the lights but they hadn't noticed it. They were so engrossed with their lusty world! I got it that my friend was always like this but I just couldn’t comprehend that she's doing it here in the living room!

“Asia!” nanggagalaiti kong tawag sa kaibigan ko na hindi pa rin ako napapansin. She was still dancing her body on top of the man I didn’t know.

“Stop calling my name while I’m on my sexcapade, Margarette! You’re not even here, why am I hearing your voice?!”

Matatawa sana ako sa sinabi ni Asia ngunit naalala kong naiinis nga pala ako sa kaniya. Kahit saan tignan, hindi tama na ganito ang makikita ko pagkauwi ko palang galing sa trabaho, ano! I went home earlier than expected because I wanted to have my siesta time but how could I have it, kung ganito ang makikita ko pagpasok ko pa lang sa apartment na dapat ay magiging pahingahan ko?

“This b***h,” I whispered and gritted my teeth. Kung hindi ko siya mapipigilan sa ginagawa niya, iyong lalaki na lang niya ang pupuntiryahin ko.

Binuksan ko ang dala kong tote bag at kinuha roon ang electric stun gun na palagi kong dala at hindi tinatanggal sa loob ng bag ko. Kahit na magpalit ako ng bag ay hindi ko pa rin nakalilimutan na ilagay iyon. It was for my self-defense since this country have pickpockets everywhere especially in tourist attraction areas. Paris was not really safe for tourists.

Napalingon ako sa may taas ng cabinet at nakita roon ang wireless mic na ginagamit namin ni Asia sa tuwing nag-ka-karaoke kami. I smirked when a brilliant idea popped on my mind.

“Vous êtes en état d'arrestation pour trafic de drogue!” malakas kong sambit sa mic. at itinutok ang electric stun gun doon sa lalaki. Mabuti na lang at soundproof ang apartment na ito kaya hindi maririnig ang kung ano mang pinag-uusapan namin dito sa loob. Isa nga rin ito sa mga dahilan kung bakit malakas ang loob ni Asia na magdala ng mga lalaki rito sa apartment, dahil hindi maririnig ng mga kapitbahay namin ang ginagawa nila.

Hindi na ako nagulat nang tinulak noong lalaki si Asia at dali-daling tumayo sa sofa. Nag-iwas ako ng tingin dahil wala pa siyang saplot ngunit hindi niya ‘ata napansin iyon dahil sa pagkataranta. I’d already seen a bunch of scenarios like this inside this apartment and I’m used to it, but I’m not used to seeing guys wearing nothing!

“Asshole! Get the f**k out of here or I’ll electrify you!” Itinutok ko pa lalo roon sa lalaki ang electric stun gun na hawak ko.

Umupo ako sa single sofa nang makaalis na iyong lalaki ni Asia. Ngumiwi ako nang dumako ang aking mga mata roon sa mahabang sofa, nakikita ko pa rin ang posisyon nilang dalawa roon kanina. Pati ang itsura ni Asia na sarap na sarap sa ginagawa nila.

“Marg, I’m sorry na kasi.” Inilapat ni Asia ang kaniyang dalawang kamay sa aking magkabilang balikat. I looked at her and she was already dressed.

I rolled my eyes. Asia’s been like this since I first met her. Her s*x drive was crazy, hindi siya nakatatagal ng isang buwan na walang s*x. Dito niya rin sa apartment dinadala ang mga lalaki niya at sa tuwing umuuwi ako galing sa trabaho ko, palagi kong naaabutan na may lalaki rito sa loob ng apartment. At first, I thought it wasn’t normal and I tried to talk to her about it but Asia’s not listening so I stopped myself from meddling with her life. Ang ayaw ko lang talaga sa kaniya ay madalas, hindi niya na dinadala sa kuwarto niya ang mga lalaki niya.

Asia is also a Filipino like me. She worked as a freelance translator and a waitress in a restaurant bar. Day off niya siguro ngayon kaya narito siya ngayon sa apartment namin. I’ve been sharing this apartment with her for almost 4 years now.

“Pumili ka naman ng lalaking walang bisyo.” Lumingon ako sa kaniya para lang irapan siya. “It’s clear that he’s using drugs. Nakita mo ba ang reaksyon niya kanina? He was terrified when I told him that I was arresting him because of drug trafficking!” Pinigilan ko ang tumawa habang inaalala iyong takot sa mukha noong lalaking dala ni Asia rito sa apartment.

Asia sighed and squeezed my shoulders. “But he’s so dreamy and handsome! Malakas din ang appeal niya, that’s why I grabbed the opportunity when he asked me if I want to have s*x with him,” katwiran pa ng kaibigan ko sa akin.

Gaano man kabulgar ang lumalabas sa bibig ni Asia ay hindi na ako nagugulantang pa. Sa ilang taon ba naman namin na magkasama sa iisang apartment, hindi pa ba ako masasanay? Napapailing na lang ako kapag gano’n na ang sinasabi niya.

“And it’s the last time that you’ll be seeing this.” Ngumuso siya at sumimangot. “You’re going home, next week, right?”

Tumango ako at malungkot na ngumiti. She was right. I’m going back to the Philippines after almost 4 years. At hindi na ako muling babalik dito sa Paris dahil mag-uumpisa ako ng sariling negosyo sa Pilipinas. That was the reason why I studied fashion marketing here in the first place - to have my own clothing store and company in my home country.

I already passed my resignation letter on the fashion company I’m working at, hinihintay ko na lang din na ma-approve iyon. Nakakuha na rin ako ng one-way ticket at maayos na rin ang mga gamit ko na dadalhin pag-uwi sa Pilipinas.

“But the question is, are you ready to go home?” tanong ni Asia na may halong pag-aalala.

“Of course!” walang pag-aalinlangan at mabilis kong sagot. Bakit naman ako hindi magiging ready na umuwi? After how many years, I’m finally going to see my family and friends.

Malakas na bumuntong-hininga si Asia. Galing sa likuran ko ay umikot siya papunta sa harapan ko at hinawakan nang mahigpit ang aking dalawang kamay.

“Margarette, I know you haven’t moved on from your past. And you’re going home now. I’m sure you’ll remember that past of yours again. And what’s worst is, there’s a big chance that your paths may cross for the second time around. I’m just concerned about you…”

Napangiti ako sa narinig. Ito ang isa sa magandang personalidad na mayroon si Asia. She was always concern about my well-being. She knew everything about me and my past, and she never failed to give me advices that really helped me a lot.

“I’ll be okay, Asia.” Yinakap ko siya at hinaplos ang kaniyang likod. “Thank you for asking about it. But really, I’m fine.”

I’m not thinking about my past anymore. Hindi katulad noong una kong nalaman ang totoo. Isa pa, dalawang taon na rin ang nakalipas nang malaman ko iyon. I should have moved on from it now. Kung makita ko man siya ulit, I knew I will be okay. But I would always resent the promise he told me...

Because he didn’t fulfill it.

“Welcome home, Marga!”

Tumawa ako nang marinig ang sigaw nina Inori at Leila. I spotted them immediately in the middle of the people who were waiting for the arrival of their friends or family. Ang mga kaibigan ko ang sumundo sa akin dito sa airport.

Itinaas ko ang aking shades at inilagay iyon sa aking ulo. I flipped my hair and walked confidently while pulling my suitcase. I’m wearing the new clothes that I bought the day before my flight. A white fitted round neck shirt and a denim blazer for my top while I wore boyfriend jeans for my pants and a red pair of heels for my feet. I also wore a pearl choker to complete my outfit.

“Grabe, ang tagal mong nawala! Lalo kang gumanda!” sambit ni Inori at ngumisi. She even eyed me from head-to-toe na ikinatawa ko.’

I smirked and winked at her. “Of course! Paris isn’t a poor country!”

Narito na kami ngayon sa loob ng kotse. Leila was the one who was driving because it’s her car. Marunong na pala siyang mag-drive ngayon. Noon kasi ay hindi siya marunong at wala siyang balak na matutunan iyon.

“Marga.”

Lumingon ako kay Leila at nakita ko siyang nakatingin sa akin mula sa rearview mirror. Nasa likod ako nakaupo habang si Inori ay nasa tabi ni Leila. “Hm?”

“Where do you want us to drop you off?”

“Sa Archit Legacy na lang. Alam mo ba kung saan iyon, Lei? I need to talk to the architect I’m hiring for my establishment,” sagot ko.

Tumango si Leila. “Sure. We’ll drop you off there.”

“Archit Legacy? Bakit parang familiar?” dinig kong bulong ni Inori ngunit hindi ko na pinansin iyon.

I closed my eyes and took a nap. Pagod ako ngunit kailangan kong magpunta roon sa office ng magiging architect ko para masimulan na kaagad ang kailangan kong simulan. Alam kong kauuwi ko pa lang at kailangan kong magpahinga ngunit hindi ako puwedeng magsayang ng oras.

Nagising lang ako no'ng naroon na kami sa Archit Legacy. It was an architectural firm that has the best architects in the country, according to what I’ve searched.

“I will park first and we’ll wait for you in that restaurant.” Itinuro ni Leila ang restaurant na katabi noong Archit Legacy.

Tumango ako at lumabas na ng kotse. The cold office and one of the employees of the firm were the ones who welcomed me. Wala akong masyadong nakitang mga tao sa loob ng malaki at maaliwalas na firm.

“Good morning, you’re Ms. Ysa Castillano?”

I nodded. I didn’t use my real name when I talked to her. “Yes. May I talk to the architect who will work on the project?”

“Of course, Ma’am!” The employee smiled enthusiastically. Tinignan ko ang template na nakadikit sa gilid ng kaniyang polo, she was Linda del Campo. “But is it okay if I recommend you to a different architect? Architect Escarra, the one who’ll be supposed to be the architect for your project is taking his leave because his wife will give birth po kasi…”

Tumango ako. “It’s fine with me. I am trusting my establishment to your firm, just don’t disappoint me.”

“I guarantee you that you won’t be disappointed, Ms. Ysa.” Linda del Campo smiled proudly.

Nakarating kami sa isang kulay brown na pinto at kinatok muna iyon ni Linda bago niya iyon binuksan. When it opened, I could sense something familiar inside. Hindi ko alam kung ano iyon, ngunit bigla na lamang akong kinabahan dahil sa familiarity na nararamdaman.

“Mr. Mendrez? The client I’m telling you is here.”

Halos mabingi ako sa narinig. Huminga ako nang malalim at umiling, it’s just a coincidence, Marga. Baka nagkamali lang ako ng pandinig.

“Please come in,” malalim ang boses ng nagsalita sa loob. It is him. I just based it on the voice who spoke but I already knew.

Nakatalikod ang kaniyang swivel chair sa akin ngunit nang umikot iyon paharap ay doon ko nakumpirma na tama ang apelyidong narinig ko.

The architect I’m meeting today is no other than my ex-boyfriend who promised me that he would wait for me and I’m the only one for him. And the same ex-boyfriend who broke that promise just almost a year after we broke up.

I smiled to myself. Hindi ako magpapadala sa kabang nararamdaman ko. I would show him what he had lost.

I stepped inside his cold office before speaking, “Good morning. I’m Margarette Castillano, let’s get along well.”

Napansin kong natigilan siya. He was surprised, but it was only for a brief moment and his serious expression was back. Iniwan na kami ni Linda kaya kaming dalawa na lamang ang narito sa loob. Inilibot ko ang paningin sa loob ng kaniyang opisina hanggang sa dumako ang paningin ko sa table niya. Walang kahit anong nakalagay doon bukod sa laptop niya at makapal na bundle ng mga papel. I was expecting to see a picture frame, though…

Bumalik ang mga mata ko sa kaniya and I saw him smiled at me a little. Lumapit din siya sa akin at naglahad ng kamay. “Architect Seatiel Mendrez. It’s nice meeting you, again, Marga.”

“Oh, I’m not that happy to see you, though.” I smiled sweetly. “I’m hiring you for my clothing store. I hope you won’t make any promises you can’t keep this time.”