The Luna's Tormented Soul

Zhinny

Remi POV

The day passes slowly since I have nothing to do but wait. I'm not allowed any luxuries like a TV, radio, books, etc. So, I don't have anything to do but stare out my window and watch as the she-wolves prepare for the celebration of my first shift.

Only the men of the pack will be allowed to join the celebration and only a select few. I'm not entirely sure what is going to happen tonight. I have heard that the first shift is the most painful, but pain and I are old friends, so that doesn't bother me.

When the time comes, my father will come and get me. He will escort me to a meadow or field where my shift will take place. I will be surrounded by some of our pack warriors, the visiting Alphas, and my family. I will then have to disrobe in front of them and wait to shift. Then everyone else will shift, and we will go on a short run around the pack. Once the run is done, we come back to the packhouse and celebrate under the full moon. At least that's what I think will happen.

Usually, a werewolf doesn't need a full moon to shift. However, for Elemental White Wolfs, we need to shift for the first time under a full moon since this is how we get our Elemental power. I won't know what my Elemental power is until I have shifted.

Even though I was not allowed to go to school, my father saw that I could read, write and do basic math. For some reason, it was vital for him to have a daughter with some education. My father doesn't know that I sneak into the library sometimes and take books on our history, science, math, fighting techniques, battle strategies, etc. I know how to get around the cameras that my father has placed all other the pack.

This is how I have some knowledge about Elemental White Wolves. Since my father doesn't seem to think I need to know more than the basics, I have taken it upon myself to learn all I can about the world around me and the outside world.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts when I hear a voice in my head, "Hello, Remi. It's almost time for us to shift."

"Hello, Zhinny. I didn't think we would be able to communicate until after I shifted," I tell Zhinny.

"Yes, that is normally true but not the case for us," Zhinny says.

"What do you mean?" I ask Zhinny.

"We are different," Zhinny says.

"Different how?' I ask Zhinny.

"You will find out when the time comes," Zhinny answers

"Just so that we are clear, you know why we are different, but you aren't going to tell me," I say to Zhinny.

"Exactly," Zhinny says

I'm not sure how I feel about Zhinny keeping secrets from me. I have been kept in the dark all my life by my father. I was hoping it would be different with Zhinny, but I guess not.

"Don't you dare compare me to your father. I'm nothing like him. I won't tell you why we are different yet. You will find out when the time is right," Zhinny snaps at me.

"Sorry, Zhinny. I didn't mean to upset you. You aren't going to leave me, are you?" I ask Zhinny in panic.

"No, I'm never going to leave you. I'm sorry that I snapped at you. I'm just so angry at what has happened to you, and my temper got the better of me," Zhinny says gently.

"How much longer before we shift?" I ask Zhinny to change the subject.

"We have about two hours," Zhinny says.

"Good. Will it be painful?" I ask Zhinny thoughtfully.

"Yes, but with all that you have had to endure, I don't think you will find it as painful," Zhinny says.

"Zhinny, you have all of my memories, right?" I ask.

"Yes, I do," Zhinny says sadly.

"Good. Then you know that we must always be obedient," I tell Zhinny.

"Remi, what you have gone through is wrong and far from normal. I wish I could have been there for you and been able to help you. We are not beneath any man, nor are we weak," Zhinny says firmly.

"Zhinny, please promise me that you will obey. If you have my memories, you know we will be severely punished for disobeying. I can't go through that again. I can't," I say as I start hyperventilating.

"For now, I will obey, but I make no promises, Remi. What your father has done to you and is doing to you is wrong. Remi, you don't deserve to have to live like this," Zhinny says firmly, and I feel a rush of warmth from Zhinny, which helps me calm down.

"Thank you," I whisper

I don't feel so alone for the first time in my life now that I have Zhinny. It is a little weird to have someone else in your head, but it becomes natural. The rest of the time passes quickly with Zhinny. Before I know it, I hear the lock disengage, and my father walks in. Zhinny growls in my head at the sight of my father, but I manage not to growl out loud.

"Remi, it is time," my father tells me.

I get up off the bed and walk toward my father. Once I'm in front of my father, I stop and wait for further instructions. My head is down, so I cannot see my father.

"Remi, look at me," my father commands

I look up. I haven't looked directly into my father's eyes in a long time. However, they are as I remember them. My father has the same emerald green eyes that are cold, cruel, and calculating. I notice that my father looks a bit older, but not much.

"Remi, you are so beautiful, and I look forward to seeing your wolf. Remi, as long as you and your wolf obey during your run, the celebration tonight won't be so painful; I will see to that," father tells me gently.

"Please, Zhinny, obey. I know you don't want to, but please obey for my sake," I tell Zhinny.

"For your sake, I will obey," Zhinny says

"Now, let us proceed to the meadow where your shift will take place. You have permission to have your head up, however, do not make eye contact with anyone," my father commands, and I nod.

My father takes my hand and softly kisses it, not in a fatherly way. He leads me out of my bedroom and down the stairs. I haven't been outside in a long time, so I'm looking forward to it.

Once outside the packhouse, I breathe in the fresh air and take in all the different scents. I savor the cool breeze on my skin. As we walk towards the meadow, I take in all the sights, from the trees to the shrubs to the flowers, since I don't know when I will be allowed to be outside again. I have missed being outdoors.

The walk to the meadow only takes us about five minutes. Once we get to the field, I look straight ahead and do not make eye contact with only one. There seem to be many men here tonight, which worries me. My father leads me to the center of the circle.

The circle is made of the men watching my first shift.

"Remove your clothes," my father commands

I remove my dress and underwear. I'm now standing completely naked in front of all these men. Even though I can't look into their eyes, I can feel their eyes ranking over my body and have a pretty good idea of what they are thinking.

Within moments, I feel a searing pain radiant throughout my body and hear my bones start to pop and crack as they rearrange and lengthen or shorten themselves; I'm not sure which. I fall to the ground on my hands and knees. My skin is not only on fire but also itches as the fur sprouts out. I feel my mouth and nose get longer. Within a few more minutes, I completely shifted into Zhinny, who is pure white with bright sapphire blue eyes.

"I don't think your father is pleased that we are almost as big as an Alpha wolf," Zhinny says, chuckling.

"Oh, no. I wonder if father is going to punish us for this," I tell Zhinny

"He shouldn't since you have no control over your genetics. You are still the daughter of an Alpha wolf, which also makes you an Alpha, whether or not your father understands that or not," Zhinny says with another chuckle.

I wait as all the males to shift into their wolves. Once they do, my father's wolf Bane comes up to me, and I'm relieved to see that Bane is still bigger than me, but not by much. Bane growls at Zhinny, wanting her to submit to him, but I can feel Zhinny not wanting to submit.

"Zhinny, please submit to Bane. I don't want us to get punished. Bane is the worst of them all and will not hesitate to kill us for disobedience," I tell Zhinny scared that Bane will kill us at any moment.

"Fine. For now, I will play along. Remi, know that we do not submit to anyone," Zhinny huffs and submits to Bane.

After that, all the wolfs surround us, and we begin the run. Being in wolf form is the most freeing experience, even with all the other wolves around us. My sense of smell and vision are much sharper in wolf form. I love the feel of the wind through my fur. I'm enjoying the run so much that I'm sad when it comes to an end.

Now it is time to see what my father thinks of my wolf. I hope he isn't too unhappy, or tonight will be very long and painful.