The Blood's Elegance

Chapter 41

Chapter 41

FIRST LOVE’S INNOCENCE III

If I was to compare what relationship do I like the most among those that I had, I would definitely answer that it was this one—being in a relationship with Seth, and nothing, as in no one from middle school and high school, could ever get closer to the butterflies that he is giving me. Sometimes, I questioned myself, “Why am I in a relationship? Is this really what I want?” And I felt nervous because although being in a relationship with him was the most precious of all and being by his side was the sweetest feeling I ever had, fear occurred to me. Fear that it was something deep. Fear that it was something heavier than infatuation... something unfathomable. It’s normal for people to be afraid when they encounter something new, and I was more than that because this could change my whole life. Whenever I wondered what I could have been without him and his friends, I always go back to reality. It was hard to run away from them even in my thoughts because they had become part of my life, and he became part of my schedule.

Thursday—the day when everything that wasn’t finished the day before it was continued here, and part of that was the exhaustion from the first three days of the school weekdays. The happenings in college were part of a cycle, it happened repeatedly, but I still failed to get used to it even though we were already in the second semester. I wished I have the power to control time where I would fast forward normal days and slow down the memorable moments, but unfortunately, no matter how hard I wish for that, I could not have it as if life told me: You should suffer, too, b***h, and I could only react a hard “Okay.” Good thing, there was someone who could remove the tiredness from me. One hug and it would leave like how the rain was blown by the wind to go to another place, and the sun would rise, and the rainbow would appear.

My lips were in a pout, hands falling lazily on my sides, and my feet lacking energy as I walk to his arms. “Babe,” I whispered upon reaching him. I leaned all my weight to his body, and he caught me with no ease. He secured me in an embrace, and we charged ourselves in each other’s arms. “I’m tired.”

“Me, too.”

He really loved kissing my hair then sniffing it, and this man wasn’t even shy of publicly showing his affection for me, but if there was one thing he hides from others, it was his problem, and only could I see them.

“We had two reportings then we proceeded to writing our thesis. It was very draining,” I complained. I stood and looked at him. “I know you are tired, too. Do you want to rest in your home or do you still want to go have a dinner?”

His sluggish eyes peered down at me. “You are my home.”

“Stop being silly,” I muttered, hiding the fluttered feeling inside me that was struggling to escape. “I would drive. You sleep on the way.”

“No.”

“Do not try your luck. I am driving.” I extended my arm in front of his face. He put down one of his hands to get his car key. He placed it on my palm, and he leaned his face on my shoulder. “See? You were very tired. I knew you pulled an all-nighter for an exam last night, so do not deny it.”

Last night, I woke up two in the morning. I went to the kitchen to drink water, and through the window that was facing their house, I saw the lights in his room still on. He opened the door of his balcony and went out with his revision in his hand.

“Let's go to your car first, so we can eat early, and you can go home early, too.”

“Let me rest for a while.”

“Seth.” He was unmoving. “Fine.”

I decided to give him five minutes, but after a moment, he raised his head with full energy. He held my hand as we headed to the parking lot where his car was parked. Since we became together, I rarely used our car. It was great because I could save money for the gas, and I could save energy because turning the steering wheel, stepping on the gas and brake pedal, and checking the mirrors consume it all.

On our way to the car, he was slowing down. He yawned from time to time, and I took the initiative to lead him almost as if dragging a dead body to bury. I opened the door for him, and he went inside sloppily. I hopped to the driver's seat next and inserted the keys. The engine roared to life as I turned it. I glanced at Seth. His back was on the backseat, but he forgot to buckle up his seat belt and fell asleep. I put his seat belt for him than mine and threw my bag behind. I checked the back through the rearview mirror then reversed the car. The road was clear, so I started driving.

Ten minutes drive passing the low buildings touched by the orange light and we arrived at the diner. I removed my seat belt and woke him up.

“Seth, we're here.”

I shook him twice, and his red eyes quickly opened. He turned to me with his face completely unaware of what was happening. He was staring at me, so I repeated what I said.

“We're here.”

His attention shifted to the glowing name in front of us. He released to air and pushed his back deeper into the seat. He was breathing heavily as if out of breath from waking up while he rubbed his eyes.

He hopped out of the car and walked to my side to open my door. “Let's go?”

I made sure all the doors were locked. I beeped his car and attempted to return his key, but he refused.

“I might get us into an accident.”

After contemplating, I still agreed. The foods might not be enough to wake the life out of his body. As he walked to the door, he seemed completely fine, but earlier, I felt that he was totally a wreck even though he had not undergone a heartache. What a day for him.

We occupied the table near the window, the third table from the entrance. Knowing how sleepy he still is, I sat beside him. He was leaning his chin on his palm, eyes closed, and his heavy breathing told me his weariness.

“Put your head on my shoulder,” I said to interrupt him from daydreaming. He did not move, so I helped him.

The waitress approached us and asked for our order.

“Burger,” he murmured.

“No,” I immediately contradicted. I asked the waitress for decent food for dinner, not some junk foods like he wanted, and water as our drink. She put her ballpen on the breast pocket of her polo. “That's all. Thank you.”

I fixed our position, so his neck would not hurt, but Seth moved and laid on my lap.

“Let me sleep here, please?”

I did not complain. I badly wanted to ask what they did that made him this tired, but I did not want to deprive him of his sleep. He looked so calm lying on my legs as his pillow, so I inserted my hands in between the strands of his hair and brushed it slowly. Rose did it to me once, and I realized it helps me sleep, so I hoped it helps him, too.

His hair felt so soft underneath my fingertips. Sometimes, I curled the long ones or bowed to kiss him. Nevertheless, none of the two disturbed him. As I ran my fingers through his head, I roamed my eyes around the diner. We usually ate here by six or seven, and it got crowded during that time, but now, it's just five, and it was nearly full. Buzzes came from tables for four and eight, silence from tables for two. Students mostly populated the place, and the least classification were workers or employees.

I stared down at Seth and whispered, “Why do you like me?” as if he would answer my question.

He opened his mouth. “I like your attitude,” he answered in a weak voice, but audible to my ears.

“What attitude?” I matched the softness of his voice. “My bitchy side?”

“It was part of it.” He rose from lying, then leaned on my shoulder with his arms on my waist. “You are fierce, I know you know that, but when there are times that you do not act like yourself, when you get pretty childish or unreasonable, or when you show your weakness, I find it cute.”

“Cute?”

“Yeah, because I know you don't like that side of yours, but it still appears. You are the type of person who wants to be composed no matter what happen. You want to be the upper hand in every situation, but there are times when things don't go your way. It was cute. It's also pretty for me.”

“I don't think that I am like that, but what else?”

“You are strong.”

“When did that happen?”

“Remember the cake on your birthday?”

I recalled it.

“You manage to get a hold of yourself.”

“That does not prove that I am strong.”

“Acquaintance party, the mirror ball falling.”

“I beg to disagree.”

“The incident...”

“I was weak.”

“Still.” He kissed my temple. “I believe you are strong because you can handle all your problems, and also, if you don't believe that reason, I like how your thoughts about gender equality are not all words but action. When I found that about you, I thought that I wanted you to be my girlfriend.”

I could not help myself but smile. “When was that?”

“Long ago, I can't remember.”

“We only met on July.”

“July, it is.”

I poked his side and teased him. I bet he would forget his tiredness because of this. “So all this time I was your crush?”

He clasped my hands to prevent me from poking him and glared at me but seeing the reaction from his face made it more enjoyable. “You were not my crush.”

“Don't deny it,” I teased even more. “Now that I am your girlfriend, is that a long dream come true?”

“In your dreams.”

I rolled my eyes at him and crossed my arms. “You are no fun.”

He moved closer again, his chin back on my shoulder, his face facing the side of mine.

“I like you,” he whispered in my ear.

The first time he hinted to me about that, it felt different. It was shallow—an infatuation, I said on my mind, but hearing it again, I knew what changed between us.

Our order arrived just as the loud noise began to fill the air. Everyone was focused on their phones with their brows furrowed, some lips and hands trembling. It was not pure noise of unimportant chats, but shares of their worry for something. Seth and I exchanged confused looks. I grabbed my phone from my pocket and opened a social media application. My eyes grew wide, and the blood inside my veins pumped faster. Our face, from confusion, became pale. We stood together. I gave the waitress a bill as our payment, then rushed to our car, afraid that the tornado would leave us nothing but casualties.

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