Chapter 2: Tennis: Exhibisionist Version
2057 Words
The next day, One Star District
(Y/N) was catching some Z's in the apartment tht he totally didn't get by beating the s**t out of a One Star student. Suddenly he woke up, in a rather strange way...
(Y/N): AAAAAHHH, I DON'T CARE WHT YOU SAY, WEISS WILL ALWAYS BE BEST GI- huh? *looks around* Whew, that was some crazy fuckin' dream, what time is it?
(Y/N) stood up his bed and strutted towards the nearest clock, whose arrows were indicating 6:30 in the morning. (Y/N) groaned and went to the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror.
(Y/N): Satsuki Kiryuin huh? If she's here, then that means that fuckin' skittles MILF has some influence here. *looks at the few rainbow strands of his hair* God damn it I want my fuckin' rape whistle...
He shook his head and got ready for school. He went for the nearest platform and boarded the tram that went straight to the academy. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw two familiar faces.
(Y/N): Hey Mako and Gear Eyes!
Apparently they didn't hear him as they were talking about something. (Y/N)'s eye twitched and took a deep breath.
(Y/N): HEY BROWN PINKIE PIE, MS. FANSERVICE WITH THE KINKY UNIFORM, OVER HERE!
Ryuko: HUH, YOU WANNA FIGHT, ASSHOLE?!!!
(Y/N): f*****g COME AT ME, SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG!
Mako: WAAAAAIT, Let's just calm down and say good morning to each other, ok?
Ryuko: Like hell I am, If this asshole wants a beating, then I'll be happy to oblige!
(Y/N): *mutter* It's too fuckin' early for this kind of s**t. Author-kun, scene break please.
Ryuko: The hell are you talkin' abou-
(Scene Break)
The three teenagers arrived at Honnouji's courtyard, Ryuko's anger had convenietly vanished.
Mako: Oh, Ryuko, my mom said it was okay if-
Suddenly a ton of tennis balls came at Mako's head, leaving her with bruises all over her face.
(Y/N): Well that s**t just happened...
Ryuko: The hell? Who did that!
???: Hmph, so this is the girl that insulted Lady Satsuki huh? Don't interfere. I'm Omiko Hakodate, captain of the tennis club.
OMIKO HAKODATE
(Y/N): WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THAT BIG ASS RACKET?! OI, A BALL COULD JUST GO THROUGH IT. SPEAKIN' OF BALLS, WHY DO YA HAVE SO MANY UNDER YOUR SKIRT, YOU HIDIN' SOMETHIN', HUH?
Omiko: What the hell are you talking about, I'm a girl for Christ's sake!
(Y/N): *smirks* Why dontcha let me see under that skirt and find out?
Omiko: *blushes slightly* Hmph, as if.
Ryuko: If ya two are done, what the hell did Mako do?
Omiko: Oh, she missed practice yesterday, she deserves punishment.
Ryuko: The hell she does, she was kidnapped yesterday!
Omiko: It makes no difference, she will be punished with 110 million serves, starting now.
Suddenly the three were pelted by tennis balls by the club members. Ryuko got in front of (Y/N) and Mako to block the incoming projectiles with her case. She told them to go on to class. Mako bolted towards the entrance and (Y/N) was about to do the same but he turned bac at Ryuko.
(Y/N): Ya sure you'll be ok?
Ryuko: *grunts* Yeah, I got this, just go!
He left and went past the entrance, but as he was also lazy this day, he didn't go to class. He eyed the main tower with narrowed eyes.
(Y/N): Ugh, I refuse to acknowledge a tower that is taller than the one I have on my pants. Oh well, time to go sight-seeing, again, cuz like Rick Sanchez said: school's not for smart people. *puts on headphones* Cue scene break.
(Scene Break)
After classes, Honnouji Courtyard.
(Y/N): *singing* I'm the one your momma said:'Don't mess with them or you'll end up dead. Their type, they don't follow any rules'. *looks at courtyard* Huh? Where the hell did all these tennis courts come from. Oi, this was not fuckin' here yesterday, might ass well see what's goin' on.
(Y/N) blurred from his place in a burst of speed, and appeared not far from Omiko and Sanageyama, who were currently oversseing the club member training and pelting a tied up Mako with Tennis balls.
(Y/N): I feell like Mako getting kidnapped is going to become a f*****g running gag because of plot reasons. Oi, tennis b***h and kendo guy, why the hell did Mako do to ya!
Omiko: Oh, if it isn't the other transfer student, as I said this morning, this girl is being punished for negligence to her club duties.
(Y/N): Club duties my fine, hard ass!
He tensed his legs and was about to move and save Mako. He didn't realize that Sanageyama watched his every movement with a raised eyebrow. Suddenly a guitar case was put between Mako and the tennis balls.
Ryuko: Not so fast, people!
Mako: Ryuko!
(Y/N):I also feel that me being interrupted while I'm about to do protagonist hero-like s**t is going to become a trend. Welp, it's best if I lay low for now, cuz If I don't, Hardass McBushybrows up there is going to be on my ass the whole school year.
Sanageyama: The other transfer student...
Omiko: Have you come to be crushed again?
Ryuko: As if! This time I'm gonna knock you all on your asses! Let's do it Senketsu!
(Y/N): 'Fresh blood', the hell is that? Some kind of slang for a period, because if it is, then suddenly everyhing makes sense.... or not, I ran out of f***s to give.
Ryuko pulled of a clip from a red glove she had on her left hand, and suddenly her uniform started to expand until it took a monstrous form with Ryuko inside of its mouth. The monster uniform then ate Ryuko and turned into the revealing costume she wore yesterday to save Mako.
(Y/N): OI, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? WHY THE f**k DID THAT UNIFORM TURN INTO A MONSTER THEN TO A FUCKIN' GARTERBELT BIKINI? THAT LOOKED SO DAMN PAINFUL, YOU EXHIBISIONIST MASOCHIST!
Ryuko: SHUT THE HELL UP, I'M NOT A MASOCHIST!
(Y/N): OI, YOU AREN'T DENYINIG THE EXHIBISIONIST PART!
Ryuko: AAAAGH!!!!!
Omiko: ENOUGH! While I agree with the second transfer's student's comment, It's time for you to be once again defeated! 110 million serves!
Omiko and the club members served a hailstorm of tennis balls towards Ryuko, who sliced them all with relative ease with her scissor blade. Suddenly Sangeyama decided to interfere.
Sanageyama: Fault! You're disqualified, transfer student!
(Y/N): Oi, Imma call bullshit on that one...
Sanageyama: True, you evaded Hakodate's attack. But slicing balls in half is against the rules in a match. In other words, you've won the fight, but you've lost the match.
Ryuko: What the hell are you on about?
Sanageyama: Listen! What you're standing on is a tennis court! Which means you can't say you have won if you didn't win according to the rules of tennis!
(Y/N): What the f**k, that tennis court was not there before!
Mako: No, she won!
The previously tied up Mako appeared next to Ryuko. The ropes that were binding her suddenly fell to the ground, and then she struck a strange pose, suddenly...
HALLELUJAH
(Y/N): Oi, What the hell is this? What's with the music? What's with the JoJo pose? What's with those lights? I've got so many fuckin' questions!
Mako: Ryuko definitely won, she rescued me! She may have lost the match, but she won with friendship, and that means she will win at life! Ryuko will win, even in tennis!
Omiko: Oh, so you're saying you want to face me, Tennis Club Captain Omiko Hakodate, in a tennis match?
Mako: *Gives a racket to Ryuko* Here! Do your best, Ryuko! *wink*
(Y/N): Gotta admit, that was kinda cute...
Ryuko: All right, all right... Let's do this!
(Scene Break)
They were took to a big tennis court surronded by spikes, (Y/N) and Mako stood on the sidelines, Sanageyama was the referee, and Ryuko and Hakodate readied themselves...
(Y/N): Yo Mako, what's with this school and spikes. I mean it looks cool, but after you see so many it just loses it's purpose.
Mako: Oh, now that you mention it, that's kinda true... Anyway I don't really know.
(Y/N): Figures... Oh look, the game's started already.
It was true, the match had already started and eventually turend into a Tennis match of it's own. Sonn Ryuko began losing tha match as all of her rackets were broken. Mako cheered Ryuko on and (Y/N) watched in silence until he got an idea...
(Y/N): Yo Gear Eyes, you should try using the scissor blade!
Ryuko: That's.... actually a good idea, Mako, scissor me!
(Y/N): Hol up, WHAT?
Mako: Ok, here ya go!
Mako threw the blade at Ryuko, who caught it and resumed the match. This time she returned Hakodate's serves with ease, eventually overpowering her and sent her flying, stark naked.
Ryuko: *smirks* Heh, I needed that release. Guess the match can't continue huh?
(Y/N): Ha! Phrasing!
Sanageyama: Don't get full of yourself, b***h!
A bright light suddenly appeared above them, along with a familiar authoritative voice.
Satsuki: Wait, Sanageyama. The victor of the match is that girl.
The lady of war herself had stepped out of her tower and observed the match from above. She proceeded to descend fro her high post and stood face to face with Ryuko.
Ryuko: So are ya finally going to tell me? Are you the scissor blade woman?
Satsuki unsheathed her black katana, Secret Sword Bakuzan.
Satsuki: If you wish to know the answer, ask the question with your skill.
The student council president lunged at Ryuko and clashed swords wtih her. The sheer pressure of her attack, along with Ryuko's exhaustion from losing blood, forced her to retreat.
Ryuko: Mark my words! Next time I'll finish this once and for all! Let's go Mako!
Mako: 'Kay!
The area was enveloped in a cloud of steam. When it dispersed, the two girls had dissappeared, leaving everyone in the destroyed tennis field.
(Y/N): Uh, I should really GTFO.
Satsuki: And pray tell, where do you think you're going?
A wall of One Star students blocked his path. (Y/N) muttered profanities in a variety of languages. Then he turned to see Satsuki glaring at him with her sword still drawn.
(Y/N): Can ya tell these dogs of yours to clear the way, I wanna go home, read manga, and drink stawberry milk. Y'know, like the antisocial person I am.
Satsuki: *ignores (Y/N)* What is your relationship with Ryuko Matoi?
(Y/N): Meh, I don't know at this point. It could be sheer s****l tension for all I know.
Satsuki's glare deepened and she brandished her sword.
(Y/N): Oi, if you s***h that thing at me, I guarantee you someone's gonna die...
The atmosphere suddenly thickened and the two stared at each other firmly. Meanwhile, the students were preparing for a fight to break out.
Satsuki: Oh? And tell me, who would that be?
(Y/N) flashed Satsuki a cheeky grin.
(Y/N): Well, me of course...
Satsuki's right eye twiched and suddenly she charged at (Y/N). What she didn't know is that (Y/N) saw all of her movements at a snail's pace as he began to think.
(Y/N): Damn it, up until now every woman that I've met since I arrived is either a rough, yet hot b***h or just a plain old cloudcuckoolander. *sees Satsuki* Hmm, I wonder what's her motive for all this Darwinism? It just can't be for shits and giggles. She's gettin' close, gotta move.
Nobody except Satsuki and Sanageyama knew what happene. (Y/N) raised his hand and hit Bakuzan's flat part with such force and speed that it was throw out of her hand and stabbed into the ground. Everyone's eyes widened as they stared at the fallen blade, then at (Y/N), who had suddenly dissappeared.
Satsuki: I barely saw him move his hand.
Satsuki stared at where (Y/N) stood for a few moments before she went and collected ther blade before sheathing it. She then began making her way up her tower wordlessly as the students dispersed with slacked jaws.
Satsuki: *smirks* Well (Y/N), you certainly have catched my interest.
Let it be known that when a Kiryuin's eye catches something that interests them, they will never stop until they know everything about, and perhaps possess, said something.
- Writer
