before
727 Words
My life has always been lonely, I never had many friends, and I always had to pretend, or hide behind s****l jokes, to get attention, uncomfortable jokes and unfunny jokes were my recipes for a cake to keep them! To win them over was easy but, as the months went by, the mask fell off and my facade of a happy girl didn't last, and they left, nobody liked to know about my problems when they already had their own.
I was broken, since always my childhood was miserable, we were poor but who wasn't? right. It was hard for me, the fights between my mother and stepfather were sometimes constant, he beat her, and even if I begged her to let him go, she ignored me, the smell of alcohol that constantly surrounded the house, the look of strangers in my house, the fear of being abused at parties filled with alcohol and drugs, and especially the neglect! They made me feel that I wasn't welcome,
I knew I wasn't, I was the fruit of a relationship that didn't work out, a daughter who wasn't wanted, my mother had me too early so now she was trying to recover her lost time with me and this relationship probably made her feel young again, that's why I knew she would always choose him. Everyday 3 damn kilometers to school to get away from it, peace was all I wanted and this was the worst bullying, and more bullying, waiting for me every day at the school gate, I tried to get around the situation but it was in vain, no matter how I decided to act I was always chased by some group girls in general, boys just ignored me, I had nothing physically attractive, I was the person who did not do extracurricular activities, for lack of friends, gang? Once I thought I would dance for the first time, but it was just a joke, no one wanted to be associated with me until she appeared like an angel!
On a rainy day that's how I saw Rebecca, she saw me behind that mask, behind all the jokes and my constantly changing mood, my meaningless jokes and obsessive neediness, she saw me for the first time I was noticed. She understood why I needed to do that, and I loved her from then on, not the traditional love between men and women, but I loved her for the first time, for someone to make me feel special. She made me feel welcome, she became my home, my haven. And that's how our friendship began, she was simply kind to me, and for someone who had nothing that was everything. ****
Years went by and still, she didn't abandon me even when she saw my worst side!
- all right, let's go through this together - she told me, no matter what she would always be there.
- Together? - I exited.
- forever lua, you and I - and for the first time I believed, and she was right in a way people connected, as we were forever, but what specifically I did not know yet.
The years went by, and more and more we became closer, his family became mine. I didn't want to admit it but my friend was one of those girls who was devoted to her boyfriend, and the gates of hell were opened when he arrived. I should have protected her, but I wasn't psychic, nor was she malicious enough to have seen him behind the good guy mask, and that's how I ended up here. The blood that covered me was not necessarily mine
, I was fine but my heart had died, I should not have but I loved him, I got into this to save her. And for the love of her I destroyed myself, I had completely risked everything to save her, I regretted it bitterly and, at the same time, I never thought I would find on the other side of the world, my shadow! As equal as you face your reflection in the mirror.
I hated to admit it but I came here to fight evil incarnate but, in truth, I only found another perspective on life, someone who was not as lucky as me.
And I loved and hated him in the same proportion...
- Writer
