It's Not Him, It's You

I always loved the fall. I love the sincere feeling of the surroundings; the colorful radiant foliage brings and the cold breeze that passes on every person's face. For me, the first day of fall is the most romantic day of the century. Not Valentine's or even the first fall of the snow. It is fall I am so in love with. Because...it is the day I met him and the day I lost him, perhaps. I don't know. He held my hand, and suddenly, I slipped away. "I—I thought you...just wanted to be friends," I said as my breath shuddered at the sudden thrill of emotion inside of me, not daring to break the eye contact between us. "I think I can't...be just friends with you," his eyes darken as he stared at my lips. I want to taste those lips, too. "Nikola, here's the key," Janice drops the book shop's key on the counter just in front of me. "Since you love working so hard, here's the key. I am going to leave you the shop. Will you be okay?" she asked, concern in her eyes. "Yup. I'll be alright. Don't worry," I said, giving her a smile. "But you have your exam tomorrow morning, will you be okay? I mean, exam week is no joke! Trust me, I've been there—" "Janice, I'll be alright! I can manage. I am more than you think," I defended. "This is not new to me! I've done this before and I just managed it well. I trust myself that I can do the same thing again this time," I smiled at her. "Okay, fine. I trust you. I know you're such a bright and hard-working kid. You can get through this," "Thank you," I retorted. "Okay. I'm going now, for real. If you need some rest, I can cover your shifts," she offered and I know that she really means it. "I appreciate the offer but, maybe, someday," I grinned. "For now, you need to leave already or else, this date you've been anticipating for weeks will not work out, again," I said as I slightly pushed her to keep going. "Oh, right. I gotta go, bye!" "Bye!" I took a deep breath as silence engulfed the whole book shop. Once again, the smell of paperbacks surrounded me. It was a very soothing feeling that a bookworm could only relate to. I started sorting out my backpack: my books, pencil case, my iPad together with my iPad pencil and my laptop. I set the timer to 2 hours before I started focusing on studying for my exams tomorrow morning. I am expecting that no one would dare to visit a book shop at 11 in the evening but after 30 minutes of simultaneously focusing, the shop's front doorbell jingled. Therefore, breaking the momentum. I took a deep breath before placing down my iPad pencil. I stood up and was about to greet the customer when my tongue betrayed me to utter a word. "I was wondering if you have a copy of Jane Austen's book Emma?" the customer asks as he was looking through dozens of books in front of him. It seems like I could not utter a word; my throat went dry that if I dare to speak, he still couldn't hear me. What is he doing here? When I didn't answer, he looked my way, and just like me, he went frozen, too. "Nikola..." his eyes gleamed due to the bright lamp above him. Slowly, he went closer to the counter with a hardbound book with a title: "Fall for You"