The Walls Between US

Everyone thinks they know me. I've gotten very good at making sure they're wrong.  "You're staring at me." I didn't bother looking up from my laptop. "I'm literally not." "You are." "I'm literally reading." "While staring at me." I finally lifted my eyes. Jonah Beck sat across from me in the McKinley University student center, leaning back in his chair like he'd personally paid tuition just to irritate me. Black hoodie. Gray sweatpants. Dark hair falling across his forehead in that deliberately messy way I was convinced took him at least twenty minutes every morning. And that stupid smile. That stupid, annoyingly attractive smile. "I was trying to figure something out," I said. His grin widened. "Knew it." "Don't get excited." "Too late." I closed my laptop. "I was wondering how someone can attend an entire semester of college and somehow become less intelligent." Jonah pressed a hand to his chest. "Imani." "Jonah." "That hurt." "Good." "You know, most women find me charming." "Most women need higher standards." He laughed. And there it was. The problem with Jonah Beck. He was funny. Not I think I'm funny, so I'm going to keep talking until somebody laughs funny. Actually funny. Which made disliking him considerably more difficult. Not impossible. Just... Difficult. "Why are you even over here?" I asked. He glanced around the crowded student center. "Public building." "There are forty other tables." "But this one has you." I stared at him. He stared back. Then he smiled. I hated the tiny flip my stomach did. Absolutely not. We weren't doing that. "Go away." "Can't." "Why?" "I'm emotionally attached now." "You've been sitting here twelve minutes." "Fast attachment." "Seek therapy." "Come with me." I narrowed my eyes. "You first." His smile faltered. Just for a second. So quickly I almost convinced myself I'd imagined it. Then he leaned forward. "See? This is why we're perfect for each other." I snorted. "We're not anything." "Yet." "Ever." "That's a long time." "I can commit." "So can I." I looked at him. He winked. I reopened my laptop. "Goodbye, Jonah." "See you tonight." My fingers stopped over the keyboard. I looked up. "What?" "Kennedy's thing." Oh. Right. Kennedy and Levi were having everyone over at their apartment. I'd forgotten. "Yeah," I said. "I'll be there." Jonah tilted his head. "You okay?" There it was. Three little words. Three words I hated more than almost any others in the English language. You okay? Because there was only one acceptable answer. "Of course." His eyes stayed on mine. One second. Two. Three. Too long. "What?" "Nothing." "Then stop looking at me like that." "Like what?" "Like you're trying to figure me out." Something changed in his expression. The teasing disappeared. "I wasn't." "Good." I looked back at my screen. Because I needed the conversation to end. Now. My phone vibrated beside my laptop. Once. I glanced down. And every muscle in my body went rigid. Dad What time are you coming home? The noise of the student center disappeared. My fingers went cold. I flipped my phone facedown. "You sure you're okay?" Jonah again. I forced a laugh. "Didn't we just establish this?" His eyes dropped to my phone. Then returned to me. I didn't like that. Not one bit. "Yeah," he said quietly. "We did." "Good." I started typing. I wasn't writing anything. I just needed something to do with my hands. Jonah stood. For once, he didn't make a joke. Didn't flirt. Didn't annoy me. He simply picked up his backpack. "I'll see you tonight, Samuels." "Unfortunately." The corner of his mouth lifted. "There she is." He walked away. I watched him disappear into the crowd before reaching for my phone. Another message. Dad: I asked you a question. My stomach tightened. I typed quickly. Me: Kennedy's tonight. I'll be home later. The response came almost immediately. Dad: Don't be too late. I stared at those four words. Anyone else would've seen a father checking on his daughter. Nothing strange. Nothing frightening. Nothing worth noticing. That's what made secrets so easy to keep. People saw what you taught them to see. I turned my phone facedown again and opened my laptop. Smile. Laugh. Study. Go to Kennedy's. Be Imani. I knew how to do that. I'd been doing it for years. But as I looked across the student center, I found Jonah standing near the exit. He wasn't laughing anymore. He was looking at me. And somehow... That scared me more than the text. Because everyone else believed me when I smiled. Jonah Beck was starting to look at me like he didn't.