Lost and Found

Chapter 2

Present day

Rose’s POV

I stare at my little bean as she sleeps soundly in her princess bed. How I created something so beautiful I cannot understand. She has my curly mop of hair and freckles that you could play dot to dot with. She had my button nose and full, pouting lips. But she has her fathers’ eyes. Eyes so blue that they hurt to look at them for too long. A familiar pain consumes my stomach and chest, this happens every time I think of him. Even though she’s had my looks for the 17 months she been on this earth, everyday she is started to look more and more like him. I try to push him out my mind, I stare at my little girl. Arabella Theodosia Jenkins was born on the 15 of July at 5 pound 5 ounces. She was a preemie baby, and it was the scariest time of my life. It was a normal Wednesday afternoon, me and Kirsten were sat on her couch talking about baby names. Kirsten has been with me all the way through, from picking me up from the bathroom floor after I left him to now spending her weekend helping me plan the Arabella’s birthday which is in 7 months. I know it seems a while off, but we are planning to take her to Disney land to see Elsa, her favourite princess ever. The day Arabella was born was scary, I had this horrible pain in my stomach and them blood came gushing from between my legs. Kirsten carried me to the car and drove like a mad woman to the hospital. The only things I remember was, as it was all hazy, was that I was rushed into surgery for them to get Arabella out. When they got her out, she wasn’t breathing or crying, not hearing your baby cry is the most frightening thing you will ever have to experience. They worked on her for 20 minutes then we finally heard the little cry we needed. Arabella was in the NICU for six weeks and had three surgeries. When she was born, she had a hole in her heart, her lung collapsed and her bowels were twisted. Through these dark times all I could think was that I had done something wrong, me being depressed over a jackass like Theo had made my baby sick. But here we are 15-ish months later and my little girl is 100% better. This month is Christmas and I have so much to do, Kirsten helps out babysitting Arabella while I’m in work, I work in a dainty bar about a 20 minuet car journey from our house, after everything that happened Kirsten and I decided it was time for a fresh start, so we upped everything to London. We had no one left for us in Cornwall so we decided a change was what the doctor ordered. I slotted quite nicely into city life, probably help that I am not afraid to challenge anything. We moved to London and got an house in the centre pretty much, when we moved I decided I needed to pay my own way and get a job. Kirsten of course disagreed saying she could sustain us both, but I never relied on anyone and wasn’t about to start mooching of my best friend. So around 12 weeks pregnant I applied for a job in The Bean, and I have been there ever since. Most of the staff there have become my family. The owner Jeffery and co-worker Sara who is also now Kirsten’s girlfriend where there at the birth of Arabella, and them two and Kirsten where my rock the whole time. As I start getting ready for work my little bean came waddling over making grabbing hand for me to pick her up. the bar is called the little bean because 4 months ago Jeffery went from manager to owner and changed the name to bean after Arabella, they fell in love with her when she was born and then The Bean bar was born.

Once I finished putting my hair up and shoes on I grab Bella, I make my way downstairs tickling her and making her laugh. Her laugh is my favourite sound. As I make my way to the kitchen I put Bella in her highchair and give her breakfast. While Bella was making the biggest mess I have ever seen for a child, sara walks in messy hair and looking sheepish, I smile discreetly so that she wouldn’t see, she saw.

“Rose just because you are too boring to get laid you leave my s*x life alone.” I choke on my coffee and stare at her.

“Firstly, I’m not boring, I just remember what happened the last time I got laid.” I threw a thumb at a messy Bella. ‘”and secondly, I have everything I need in my life, I have a gorgeous daughter.” I say tickling Bella, “I have two good roomies, even if they are s*x mad.” This makes sara laugh, “I have the Bean and Jefferey, so I am quite content thank you very much.” Sara put her hand up in defeat and walk to get coffee, while she is playing with Bella, my mind wanders to him. I haven’t thought about him in ages, and suddenly I find my mind wandering to him. His blue eyes, black hair and strong jaw. His abs that were chisled by the gods themselves, and the way he made me feel. But suddenly remember that night and what he did to me, how he broke me and I got back to hating him. I shake off the memories I focus back on Sara. I watch sara with Bella, she is the best aunt, she does everything for me and Bella because she loved Kirsten. I remember when Kirsten and sara got together, Kirsten made it very clear that me and Bella were part of the package. Sara ~accepted and we have been living with them ever since. Sara was lifting Bella out of her highchair when Kirsten came running at Bella making growling noises to make Bella scream and giggle. I watch my best friends with my daughter and couldn’t get over how good they were with her, they loved her like she was their own and would bend over backwards in order to help me. I was possibly the luckiest person ever.

He was in the media a lot in the beginning of my recovery, the girls, Jeffery and John made sure that I didn’t see anything from him, making sure all newspapers were out of the house, the news wasn’t on around me. I am a lot stronger now and since I fell pregnant I had heard he had gone to new York or something, so he very rarely pops up in my newsfeed anymore, however his mother and father still run business down my way so I see them in the news or the local paper, but they can drop dead for all I care.

I was snapped out of my trance by sara.

“What time you home tonight? Just so I know how much time I have with the little monster?” Bella squealed while sara blew raspberries on her stomach.

I smile at the sight, “I’m not home until close tonight, need to save up for Disney, I want her to have everything while she is there, granted she wont remember it when she older, but still.”

I soon come to the realisation that I am not being listened to as Kirsten has walked off with Bella and is throwing her up and down in the play room. I think about out little house. It has four rooms, we got the biggest one we could. When looking for houses I had made the mistake of telling Kirsten that I would have Bella in my room, and we would make do with space. I knew I wouldn’t be able to afford anything too fancy so I was thinking of ways around that. After I had said it Kirsten gave me a look that could kill. She started ranting about how I was left by a piece of s**t to raise a baby on my own, so she was going to take the role as Bella’s father and help me provide for her. So one day she came home when I was at the start of the pregnancy and told me that she had brought a house outright with the inherence money from her grandfather and we were to move in the next couple of days. Kirsten has always been good for money, and helps me out anytime I need it, even when I don’t even ask for help, she just does. The house was beautiful. It was 3 stories with a bedroom for Bella, sara and Kirsten and me, the spare bedroom was soon taken over by all of Bella clothes and toys, they spoiled her rotten. It had a hot tub and a huge garden for Bella, Jeffery and his husband built Bella her own play house for her first birthday, its her favourite place to go. The house has 2 offices one used by sara and the other by Kirsten. I cannot stress enough how much all of the people around me have saved me. They gave me light when I was consumed by darkness, they are my everything.

I look at my watch and grab my bag to leave. I take my daughter from Kirsten give her kisses and cuddles, say bye to the girls and I was out. Pondering over what tonight had to offer me.