Episode 8 - Truth behind Ten months
1283 Words
JACK
I drive aimlessly, I don’t want to be anywhere near to them. The way they talk about Idris makes my blood boil and I want to beat them to death. And the hell I would have done it if I stayed there one more second. How could they talk ill about Idris, She has gone through a lot, and yet she never wanted to burden our parents. How could a mother say something ill about her daughter? I tighten the grip on the wheel. She blames her, everyone blames her when I should be one to blame. It was me who loved her for long. I don’t regret the choice of choosing her, and I will choose her over and over. I love my family, everyone does and I was so patient with them, I don’t want Adam or Idris to be affected by their sickness. I have born with them but not anymore when they talk about Idris. I punched the steering wheel and let some anger out. “Jack..” Idris’s voice calms me to a certain level. I pulled the car, I saw her frozen and scared... Scared? Scared of me? What have I done? I scared her.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare..” I was cut off when her lips crashed on mine. I kissed her instantly holding her head, I don’t want her to pull back. She bits my bottom lips, I kissed her, her kiss calming me down. She pulled back to take a breath and she again kissed me and she brought a smile to me.
“Thank you!” We both said at the same time after we pulled back. We both laughed, I don’t have to ask why she said thanks when I know it was for choosing her and she doesn’t want to ask why I thanked her. I know she knows the reason for it.
“I want to visit our Nana.” She says uncomfortably. I believe I can find the answers there about the ten months and what our grandfather meant about made herself clear.
“Okay” I nod, and I drive to the cemetery.
She picked the dandelions on the way to the stone. I walked behind her. She is walking very slowly like she hesitates to each step. “Are you okay?” I ask.
She looks at her foot, “Jack.” She looks at me. “Please don't be mad at me.” She begs in her eyes.
Why would I be mad at her? “No Luv. I’m not mad at you” I say reassuring her.
“Please Don’t be after what I’m gonna say.” She says looking nervous.
I took her hand, pulled her close, “Baby girl. Whatever it is, I will NOT be mad at you, except you again want to break up with me.” I half threaten and half-joked.
She smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes. She is hiding more things from me, I hate that she thinks she will burden me with whatever she has gone through. “We are stuck with each other.” She tugged me.
We walked to our grandmother’s stone, Idris cleaned the old flowers and arranged the perfect size dandelion, She sat next to the stone cross-legged, I sat behind her, her back on my chest “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what happened. I’m sorry for everything. But I don’t regret or feel bad about falling in love with Jack even though he is my brother. I tried so hard to forgive myself but I couldn’t.” She says Why does she need forgiveness?'' I rocked her gently as she talked to our grandmother. “I want you to know Nana, I might have made a lot of mistakes and have made a lot of mistakes in my life but choosing Jack isn’t one. I want you to understand.” She says.
“I’m sorry I killed you.” She says sobbing, shocking me. What? What does she mean by it?
“Baby girl, What are you talking about?” I ask.
She cries silently, “I killed her.” She says again. I’m so confused.
I lifted her face to see me, “What do you mean? You didn’t kill her. You were with me.” I say.
She shakes her head, “I killed her, She died because of me.” She says.
“She died because she had arrhythmia,” I said, wiping her tears.
“She died because the whole night she was thinking about me. She was so worried about me and it made her sick.” She says.
“You didn’t make her sick,” I say.
“Jack, She knew I love you.” She says. I never expected this but there is something she and our grandfather knows.
“Okay..” I say.
“She was so mad at me, that I did this to you. She didn’t know you loved me back. She only knew that I loved you.” She rants out.
“Baby girl. It has nothing to do with her death.” I try.
“Grandpa knows too just the day before she died and I’m the reason she is..” She trails off.
I hugged her tightly, “Idris, No it wasn’t. It is not your fault she died. She was ill, you shouldn’t feel guilty about it.” I say. She was ill and none of the operations could save her, she might have been thinking about Idris the day before she died but that doesn’t mean that Idris is the reason she died.
“I feel guilty. I can’t forgive myself when I know the truth and I couldn’t confront Grandfather or Pinkie.” She says.
“You don’t need forgiveness when you have done nothing,” I say
“It was my fault” She reapers.
“It wasn’t. Her time was over.” I try to comfort her.
“I can’t..” She cries to my chest. I rock her as I say gentle words to her.
“Baby girl. Was this the reason for your break up?” I ask after a few minutes, She nods. I know my grandfather has said something and made her break up with me. Anger builds in me and I clenched my fist, I don’t want to show my anger when my Luv is broken down and needs me.
“No one ever believed that I love you as a man not just as a brother. They tried to convince me it wasn’t love, I was very dependent on you and I was mistaken about twin love.” She says.
“Baby girl,” I lift her chin, her cheeks and nose are bright red because of crying. “You know it wasn’t just…” She cut me off.
“I love you, Jack, As a man. I don’t care what they think about us or treat us anymore.” She says. I embraced her, kissed her head. I will do anything to make her happy. She deserves all happiness, not the craps they are giving. I’m so done with them today.
“Good. I love you, Idris. That’s what matters to us.” I say.
We sat there, the sun was bright and made us leave. I drove to San Francisco. It’s just ten months but it feels ages to see the building. My usual parking was already occupied by someone’s Audi. I groaned and parked next to it and made Idris laugh. She laughed for the first time since we left our grandmother. I laughed with her.
- Writer
