Prism

"I always wake up with this feeling...the sun in my face, a light breeze in the room, some warm feet touching mine, I move a bit and I can feel a hand going into my chest, holding me, hugging me. A smile draws on my face, I feel safe, I feel happy. That only lasts until the moment I open my eyes". This was an ordinary day for Loke, woke up after a couple of hours of sleep, got himself some coffee and a cigarette, sat down on his couch to watch some tv, just the news, some morning shows,  music programs...wait he hates music, ugh!  He left the couch to walk through the balcony, from his penthouse he could see a large number of buildings, a tall bridge and the sea... the height was pretty shocking, how many times he thought of just jumping from there and end it all, he was contemplating the possibility again when his phone vibrated on his pocket, he had an appointment that day, ugh! He got a quick shower and took a cab, only twenty minutes drive. He hated everything about that place, the soft light brown couch where he was sitting, the masive ammount of light comming from the window, the small pictures of flowers in the wall, the stupid blonde receptionist with her awful pink sweater and especially the white door openning and the person comming out of there, smiling so calm and saying to him; "It's good to see you" - How could it be possible to be good to see him. "It's good to see you too, Denise"- he replied with a smile and in the same warm way... what a fake. "I wasn't sure if you will come today, I'm so happy that you remembered. How is everything"- she asked Loke once they were inside the room. "Everything's been good... just chilling" said Loke smiling. "Great, did you have breakfast today?" "Yeah of course, it's the most important meal of the day right?" "That's what they say! Have you lost weight lately" "No, not really" "How about the gym, been there lately" "Three times a week!"  "And your sleeping cycle? How many hours of sleep are you getting?" "About 7?" "Are you taking your pills?" "of course" "What is your dosage?" "One pill, every 8 hours" "You've been out with your friends" "Yes I have" "With whom" "Daniel and Pete" "When, what did you do?" "We just went to karaoke and drink" "Wow, that sounds fun! What time did you come back home?" "Around 4 am" "And you didn't get sleepy before?" "You know time flies when you are having fun" "I meant because when you mix your medicine with alcohol, you will pass out, there is no chance in that" Loke continued smiling, he fixed his jacket and relaxed on the couch, he took out his beanie and moved his fingers across his hair. For the first time in many months Denise saw how long Loke's hair was, just laying there, smiling carelessly, you could see that he was effortlessly beautiful. "Did you run out of questions?" he asked. Denise looked at him and relaxed on the couch too, she drank some water and looked him in the eyes. "There is no need for you to come here and lie, the point for you to come to therapy is to try and share your true feelings". "What true feelings? What sharing? There is no point for any of that." "Then why do you come here?" Denise asked "Because I have to!" Screamed Loke and stand up "I don't know why you ask me this stupid questions?!" he put the hand inside his pocket and took out a cigarrete. "Loke you can't smoke here" "Perfect! Then I'll leave!" Loke slam the door as Denise called his name triying to stop him, the girl in the pink sweater stand up and said something to him, he didn't even understand but shout "f**k you!" he felt like his chest was exploting, he didn't even wait for the elevator, he ran down the stairs as he light up a smoke, his phone was rining non stop. He opened the exit door with a kick, he felt outside the air, the people, the pain, the damn phone that didn't stop ringing. "What!" he said, picking it up, a long silence followed. "Come to the house for supper" said a familiar voice and hang up, "perfect, just what I need" thought Loke.