A love to stay

My name is Kiara, I just finished high school and I'm really looking forward to going to college. I am African American and my mum is a nurse. I should probably be happy that I got into my dream school, maybe I did but I definitely didn't get the dream life I wanted. My wish and dream was to go to college with my high school boyfriend, I didn't want to date too many people, I just felt it would be so dirty and disgusting to have so many exes. Jaden and I had such a wonderful time together, we made so many memories. The only memory we didn't make is introducing him to my African parents, they would have broken and remade me that instant. We made a lot of promises, he gave me a lot of things, I was a really good girlfriend and he played fair at being a boyfriend too. He was my boyfriend and I told him a lot of things. He didn't even tell me he also got into NYU. I overheard a girl telling her friend that my ex was coming to my school. He had been offered admission before he even broke up even when he knew that I was also coming to NYU. It just made me feel dumb. When he broke up, I cried for days, I was even moody. I threw away everything he gave me. He really messed me up emotionally. He just made me feel like a fool, like a dummy …. Like a puppy just obeying him. He didn't find a honorable way to tell me, he just texted me and told me he didn't like me anymore….. how disrespectful! I couldn't get him out of my head, I didn't see him around too. He moved with his parents to London, and that was it. Jaden was a lot of things…… an athlete, my best friend, my friend, my boyfriend and my lover. I was faintly relieved that we did not have s*x, at least now it is saved for someone that actually is worth it. I made up my mind not to date anyone any time soon, I couldn't give myself totally to anybody anymore. I had fantasized about a lot of things…. I fantasized about getting married,I fantasized about going to college together, I fantasized about how much I loved him, I fantasized about kissing him,I fantasized about hugging him,I fantasized about about having him in my bed,I fantasized about marrying him,I fantasized about having three kids with him,I fantasized about growing old with him. Our classmates were very jealous, they even believed in the relationship. They were so shocked when they heard we broke up. I really loved him,I love his abs. His dark brown eyes , his thick dark hair and lashes…… brown clear skin…… his thick lips….. his broad shoulders….. his athletic body and oh he could run. He was just so perfect, so handsome…. He really liked him….. but all these just to be dumped over a text? I could remember trembling to my toes after seeing his text, dumped over a text…. Crazy. I tried talking him into it but it wasn't working, so I gave up. What do you mean a 10 like me should beg before you stay with me. Boy bye. The goodbye is crushing my mental health and I have nobody to talk to. In Fact from highschool, I've cultivated the habit of keeping personal information to myself, that and the African upbringing I got. I should've called my brother but he is in college, probably busy…. Especially busy. We are only friends when we are apart, at home… We quarrel and argue all the time. Or maybe there was something I said or did, I didn't do anything. I didn't even get mad when I heard Maria was sitting on his lap. I didn't get angry when he and Maria called each other pet names. I didn't get angry even though girls are always around him. I just wanted a healthy relationship, a peaceful one, and he was a good boyfriend. I can't fathom went wrong, maybe the distance went wrong. A lot of things were wrong though, ladies liked him a lot and they were always around him. He cheated on his last girlfriend even though they were happy in the relationship. I dated him after he dated my friend, maybe all these were wrong….… Maybe ….. just maybe…. Maybe I should have seen this earlier…… maybe I shouldn't have wasted my time….. maybe I wouldn't be sad now ….. maybe…… The honk of my mother's car brought me to reality once again, in Africa the ideal thing is to walk to the door and greet whoever is coming into the house. I dashed to the living room in haste spraining my ankle, and I was in deep trouble. The living room was looking so unkempt, certainly not unkempt but scattered, I quickly arranged it for the love of my dear life. I could hear her footsteps and she was calling my name. I threw the door open in haste, spraining the same ankle again.”What's wrong?" she asked with a searching gaze " nothing ma" I said with a straight look so that she won't suspect anything." Ok, you will braid your hair tomorrow, your dad will be home tomorrow " my dad went to Nigeria for a burial, I've missed him around , his vegetable soup and little jokes. "Ok ma" I replied. We had dinner and went to bed early, mum was tired and so am I. After doing the dishes, I could still feel sharp pain around my knee. I took off my earpods, brushed my teeth and lay on my bed, streaks of tears running down my cheek and I slept off… Sun is shining bright this morning, making a very nice harmony with my black and blue curtains. My mum isn't up yet,it was 7:00am in the morning. My alarm blaring in my ear, with closed eyes I was trying to switch it off, after several failed attempts, I sat up and removed the batteries in disgust. I'm a dramatic pretty little girl, then I went into it again, crying… sobbing quietly, assuring myself that it will be fine. Then a text popped on my phone, my eyes widened, my heart beating fast, I was trembling down to my toes…. My heart is pounding in my head… “Kiara” my mum called, I could tell she was approaching my room. Jaden just texted me, and I have to choose between my mum and Jaden's text…….