I cheated.

My husband tied the nuptial chain around my neck as the priest kept chanting holy words further bounding me in an arranged marriage with the man I saw just 5 months ago for the first time. Coming from a conservative family I knew arranged marriage was my faith. Though I was given a choice to choose my husband but only from the bunch of guys who came to my home with their families to see me. I wasn't allowed to fall in love with anyone, because my father was more concerned about "fakta mazhi ijjat nako ghalaus" (just don't dishonor me). Though they loved me to no extent and I didn't have everything I wanted but I still was happy. We weren't really rich but my father worked really hard and provided good food and education. I wasn't allowed to go hang out with my friends in school and I hated the next day. The bunch of idiots would keep talking about it the whole time and I just had to keep looking at their faces which I absolutely hated and I would always cry once I reached home. They gave me a lot of love, but my father always warned me to not bring him shame before society. My extended family didn't make it any easier for me too. We have a big joint family, my father has four brothers and two sisters and there is no love nor affection between them. My mom snapped me out of my reverie and asked to me take seven rounds around the holy fire. I kept looking at my feet internally preparing my brain and heart to accept my new life and new people. I know without a doubt I will do all my duties and never let anyone raise their fingers at me. It will take me time to adjust but I know I will eventually fit in with them because that is what my mom always taught me and that's how she was. She was the ideal lady and I will follow her footprints.  At the end of the seventh round, we leaned down and touched the priests' feet and he blessed us, then we moved towards my mom and dad who blessed us too. Soon we settled on the dining table and I took a deep breath. My body was exhausted. My wedding took a toll on my body, My shoulders ached, my head ached, and don't get me started with the jewelry that adorned my neck and ears. My ear lobe ached and my eyes burned from the holy fire. I just wanted to remove all and take a cold shower. I don't understand how the bride's laugh and smile all throughout their wedding ceremonies. I just couldn't wait for all of this to end.