Brown Girl

Chasing Cars.

"You'll be okay?" Alex asked Alisha as he dropped her off till her porch.

Alisha nodded. "Yeah."

After everyone made sure that Alisha was all bandaged up and healed, they headed home with their respective parents from school and Alex insisted that Alisha come with him and his mom since her parents hadn't arrived there.

His mother had already headed home after comforting Alisha throughout the car ride, for which Alisha was grateful for, and Alex decided to drop Alisha off till her porch and then head back home.

"Don't worry about me, Alex. I'll be okay." She tried giving a small smile.

He sighed. "You don't need to be strong in front of me, Alisha. I know that it was one of the most difficult days of your life. Colin wasn't only a guy who tried harm you, he was your friend too. And having to go through all that and losing him as a friend is a lot. So, whenever you feel like you need to scream, cry, talk, anything!, I'm there for you."

"Thanks, Alex." She smiled. "It was a tough day for you too. You know, having to confess your feelings and all to me...."

He rolled his eyes. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Well, you better figure it out quickly or else I'll go run off into someone else's arms." She snorted.

He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her close, whispering. "I'll never let that happen."

Putting her arms around his neck, she closed her eyes and rested her forehead against his. "You better not."

They stood there like that for a while, breathing in each other's touch and feel.

"Can I kiss you?" He whispered.

"Like you have to ask." She murmured and immediately, his lips crashed down on hers, making them stumble back onto the nearest wall. This one was nothing like their earlier kiss, where he was being gentle and sweet. It wasn't like his goodbye kiss.

This one was more fierce and demanding. It was a kiss in its truest sense. Alisha ran her hand through his hair, tugging on it to bring both of them closer. She felt like there was a volcano erupting throughout her nerves and her heart was going to blast at any given second.

Alex pulled her closer using his hand on her waist as his other one slid a bit higher, wrapping around her upper back, tangling up in her hair. He could hear the synced rhythm of her heart and his together. Both equally loud and fast.

Gasping, they finally broke away. With their eyes still closed, Alex placed a few more soft, short kisses on her lips, latching on to her upper lip and then the lower one.

"I better go." She said breathlessly.

"Yeah." He whispered, out of breath. Neither one of them moved for a long moment.

Finally, she pulled back a bit, as both their eyes opened.

"Meet me tonight?" He asked.

"Like you have to ask." She repeated her words, making him smile.

With one last, short kiss, he let her go reluctantly. He watched her as she looked at him once and then headed inside, wishing he could just grab her back again and never let her go.

~

"Alisha! Haye, rabba da lakh shukhar hain ki tu theek hain! (A million thanks to The Lord to keep you safe and sound)" Aisha rushed to Alisha as soon as she entered the door and engulfed her in a hug.

Taking the chance, Alisha hugged her mother back, glad to find that familiar comfort again.

"I'm so glad that you're okay." Aisha was weeping as she pulled back.

Alisha nodded. "Yeah, me too."

"Alisha." She heard her father, as he entered the living room. He walked towards her and crushed his daughter into a hug.

Alisha couldn't control her tears. It was after long that she found such affection from her father.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart. Baba ko maaf karde. (Forgive your father) I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you." He stroked his daughter's hair affectionately.

"It's okay, baba." She sniffed.

"By the time we got to know...you were already outside. And then we thought that you'll anyways be heading home, so..."Aisha tried explaining. Alisha couldn't believe that they were trying to explain their absence today, the day that she could've been seriously harmed or even killed.

"Yeah, I get it." Alisha nodded, wiping her tears violently, as she pulled away from her father.

"Listen," Aisha came towards her. "Do you want me to take a couple days off work? I can be there to take care of you."

Alisha shook her head. "That won't be necessary. I can take care of myself, ma. I have been doing so for a long time, now."

A deafening silence followed.

Alisha tried smiling and turned to her father. "Hey, dad...when is your next business trip?"

He looked at her with guilt in his eyes. "Tomorrow morning."

Alisha nodded, the smile still stuck on her face. "Have fun."

"Alisha," he began.

"You know what?" She cut him off. "I think I'm going to rest for a bit. But don't worry about me. I'll be fine."

Nodding her head as if to reassure them, she walked away from the living room and ran up the stairs.

Slamming the door open to the bedroom, she rushed to her bathroom and washed her face fervently, to cover the tears. Taking a deep breath, she stared at herself in the mirror.

As she looked in her own eyes, penetrated through her own soul, her past demons along with today's events came rushing back to her.

She took a deep breath in, trying to run away from all the memories.

~

Alisha stared at the blanket of stars covering the sky, as she was lying under them, on the ledge. She heard the slight shuffling of Alex's feet as he climbed on his roof and walked on the ledge. She moved aside to give him space to lie down beside her.

He quietly lied down beside her with his hand going under her head. She moved a bit towards him, her face at level with his.

"Hi." He said after a while.

"Wow, you acknowledged my presence pretty early." She smirked making him smile.

"I thought I should just let my aura of charm speak for myself." He said cockily.

She snorted. "More like aura of being delusional."

He chuckled. "Can't you let me bask in my glory for once?"

"What glory? You don't have any." She rolled her eyes.

He sighed. "I am never going to win with you."

She turned to look at him. "You don't have to."

He stared at her in silence. "How you holding up?"

"I'm fine." Was her reflex response.

He gave her a knowing look. "Niña."

"I've...been better. Much better." She admitted.

"Better." He gave her a soft, small smile.

They both were aware of the fact that what happened today was going to change their lives forever. Maybe in a good, maybe in a bad way. But it was going to have an impact.

~

"You never asked me about my father." Alex spoke softly after a long while of silence, his fingers playing with the strands of her hair.

"I didn't think it was my place to." She whispered.

He didn't say anything for a while. "I moved to this town when I was twelve. My mom and I....we used to live two towns after this one. My dad....he was the chief of police and he was the best father ever. Always taking me for road trips, fishing trips, camping, playing baseball. We were very happy until I turned ten and he got into a car accident, damaging his knee that made him retire from the force. Then things...changed." He took in a sharp breath.

"He started drinking a lot, blaming us for his unemployment and ruined state. Every night, after mom tucked me in, I used to hear screams. He used to get sloshed and in that state, he used to beat my mother senseless. He stopped giving a s**t about me and her. I used to ask her every single day if he was going to do it again and she promised me every single day that he wouldn't. And I believed her."

Alisha looked at him. He was looking up at the sky, as if speaking to it. "This went on for a good two years. Then one day, I came home from school to see the whole house in ruins. There were vases broken in the living room, broken chairs on the floor, cracked photo frames, torn couch. Trembling, I moved inside to see my father out of control, beating my already unconscious mother. The sight enraged me. He was oblivious to my presence, so I did the most rational thing I could think of. I ran out of that house and banged on the neighbours' door. That day, he was arrested by the police and sentenced to jail for fifteen years. Since then, we moved to Ortown, and after a few years, I took my mother's maiden name. And now, we're here. But everyday, that image of him towering over my mother, who laid passed out on the floor, beating her, cursing her, haunts me. Every single day."

A tear slipped out from Alisha's eyes. No boy should have to go through that. She hugged him tightly, burying her face into his chest. He pulled her closer, feeling her empathise with him.

She didn't say she was sorry for him and he didn't want to hear it. He didn't need her words, just her feeling his pain and being beside him was enough for him.

"Your mother is a strong woman." Alisha whispered after a while.

He sighed. "Stronger than I could ever be."

She lifted her head to look at him. "Alex, you were really brave for your age. You got yourself and your mother out of that hell hole and you should be damn proud of yourself."

He looked at her and gave her a soft, sincere smile. "Thank you."

"Well..." She trailed off, not sure what to say. "You're welcome."

He smiled at her and they stayed in silence for a while.

"Hey," he spoke. "Don't you think this ledge is a bit uncomfortable to lie down on?"

~

"Can I ask you something?" Alex spoke.

"Yeah?" Alisha answered.

"And if you don't want to answer it, it's completely okay. It's just that it's been killing me the whole day-"

"Just ask the question."

"Fine." He sighed. "What did you... mean....when you told Colin that you knew exactly what he...felt?"

Alisha was silent.

"See," he began. "You don't need to answer it."

"I meant that I knew what he was going through because I've, more or less, been through the same thing." She started.

"How?" He wondered.

She sighed. "Now, this might take a long, long time. You sure you're up for it?"

He looked her. "Only if you are."

She nodded. She was ready. She needed to be ready. She had to tell someone, and she couldn't think of a better person than him. She will never be able to.

She sat up, making him do the same. As she looked ahead at the view, her legs dangling over the ledge, she took a deep breath in.

"As a little girl, my life was perfect. I had the perfect parents, the perfect school, the perfect house, the perfect toys. Everything. I was very close to my parents, that time. They had me when they were very young and as I turned five, things started to change. My mother had completed her medical education, my father had entered into a partnership with his friend, starting a new business. But for me, life was the same. Sure, I used to be left at my aunt's place more often, but I had no complaints. But then, everything changed for me when I was nine years old."

She stopped abruptly, not knowing how to continue.

"What happened?" He whispered, providing her a way to continue.

"Listen, after this, you might not want to be with me and it's fine if you don't because I know that it's something that you might be hesitant about and I will get that-" She began rambling.

"Alisha," he cut her off, speaking a bit more strongly. "What happened when you were nine?"

She turned to look at him but couldn't look him straight in the eyes, so she shifted her focus back on the view.

She spoke softly. "I was r***d when I was nine years old."

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