30
Getting Clean
I was being given just enough to be able to rest up, recover and head back to work. Day after day after day. Nothing more, nothing to accumulate, nothing to enjoy and nothing tangible that I could say, “Hey, look at this.” The sum total of my life was going back to work and when I was gone, there would be no more memory of me. The sad fact was, as I got up each day and as I worked, at the end of the day I took into my hands the means to make sure that, within this workday, I no longer had any more memory of me.
Virtual opium, that was my thing. I don’t know if I learned it at the clinic, I don’t know if it just dawned on me. There was more to the addictive process than just the feeling one gets. It was about habit and routine. Wake, work, and wash from my mind anything
