OUR STORY

MISSING YOU

brie’s POV

“The food was great brie,” CJ said wrapping her arms around me

“I remember how Kendra used to brag about your cooking and the lunch you pack for her every time” she continued

Cj is one of her close friends. She is now the supervisor at Kendra's first business which is the bistro.

“I miss her so much CJ,” I said leaning on her shoulder

“I know, we all miss her” she replied and lightly squeezed my arm

“We have to go brie, thanks for having us,” she said as her girlfriend and some of our friends walk towards us. We said our goodbyes and I walked then to the front door.

Kendra's dad mike walked up to me 

“We are leaving now iana, thank you for today,” Kendra's dad said while hugging me

“drive safely, thank you for coming” I replied

He walked to his car and waved at me before driving away

“I wanted to stay but I have an appointment for tomorrow,” ken’s mom said

“It’s ok, mom and uncle Bert will stay tonight” I replied

“that’s good then, I’ll try to come after my appointment, I'm sorry her sisters didn't' made it tonight” she apologized 

"no no... it's ok .. they informed me ahead of time" I replied and gave her another hug

“bye-bye kids,” she said and waved at the kids watching at the living room

“bye gram gram” they replied in unison

“my uber is here, thank you so much for doing this Amanda it means a lot”

“The pleasure is mine”

I smiled at her and watched her enter her uber

“bedtime boys,” I said as I approach the kids on the sofa

“can we finish this first” andy asked pointing at the tv

“please??” the other three pleads

“ok ok, once that’s done you have to get ready for bed” I answered in defeat

Looking at my children now makes me wonder, do I deserve them? Am I a fit parent for them. We built this family together and now here I am raising them on my own.

“you’re doing fine brie,” my mom said as she stood beside me and wrap her arm around me

“I miss her so much you know, whenever I see our kids I remember all the plans we had,” I said holding back my tears

My mom hugged me without saying anything I just hugged her back letting my tears fall. Mom and her boyfriend decided to stay for the night to keep us company. I freed myself from the hug and wiped my tears

“I know you had a long day mom, I’ll be fine, I just miss her that’s all,” I said then smiled at her

“Are you sure?” she asked worriedly

“yeah” I hugged her one more time

“I’ll take the boys to bed for you” 

"kids time for bed, come on” she uttered that made the boys frown.

One by one they hugged me and said their good night

“good night boys, I love you,” I said as they walk to the stairs

“ok I’ll leave you here then, I’ll be in the guest room if you need me,” mom said heading to the stairs

I grabbed a trash bag and went to the backyard. I looked around and my yard looks like a dumpsite right now. I started picking the trash while humming Kendra's favorite song

"you still really miss her"

"OH f**k" I was startled by the voice behind me 

I turned around and saw Lendon 

"don't startle me like that...you never stop missing someone you lose ... I thought you've gone home" I said still picking up some trash 

"I did I just forgot to give you this," he said handing me a small box 

I dropped the bag and took the box

"what's this?" I asked

"Kendra dropped that off before she left and asked me to give it to you the next day. but with all the chaos that happened it slipped my mind" he explained

I open the box 

"it's beautiful" was all the words that came out 

I could feel my tears running down my face 

"hey hey I didn't mean to make you cry" lendon said and hugged me

he let go of me and wiped my tears 

"let me put it one you" he said and took the pure white gold butterfly necklace 

"have you ever thought of loving again?" he asked

"no... I'm no way ready for that , she's my better half and i don't think someone can change that" i replied holding and looking down at the necklace

"i think i should get going" he said

"you can stay the night you know" i said looking at him

he just gave me a quick hug and left 

after cleaning the backyard i decided to head inside and poured myself a wine and went to my room. I shuffled through the closets and drawers for our albums and pictures. When I found what I was looking for I sat on the ground and flipped the notebook open.

11/16/19

            This was the day I first met you.

*flashback*

“where are we going again?” I asked my friends as we’re walking down the street. we escaped from class after performing. Not having the patience to wait and watch

“in a bistro where we always eat” Nesa replied as we enter a building.

“They have a smoking area there” Cheska continued and we entered the elevator she pressed 5 and the elevator went up. the door opened and we got out Cheska pulled me and we entered the bistro and sat near the counter. The place isn’t that big but it’s nice and cozy. it has a large tv on the right facing the kitchen area I presume.

“hi MJ” Nesa greeted the waiter that was standing near the counter

“hi ladies, what would you like to have?” he asked smiling genuinely and gave us the menu

“I’ll have the usual, what about you two?” Cheska asked,

“what’s 'the' usual?” I ask her back with a curious expression

“oh, its sisig” she replied

“I’ll have that too” I smiled

“Nesa what will you have?” I asked and turned to look at her

“sisig, MJ do you have a lighter?” she asked

“no, but I think boss does” as soon as he said those words someone came out of the kitchen? I guess?

“Ken do you have a lighter?” Nesa asked the girl

Without saying anything she handed her the lighter and went straight to the counter. I can’t help but gaze at her, she’s dressed in a tomboy kind of way. Her hair was bleached and short, boy-like but it has grown out like haven’t been cut for over a month maybe. And she’s wearing a checkered black and red long sleeve polo which are folded up to her elbow, the first two buttons are undone and is showing her skin.

“hey, brie you coming?” I was startled by the light tap on my shoulder

“what?” I asked and looked at Cheska

“we’re going to smoke while waiting for the food, are you coming?” she asked again

“yeah” I replied as I stood

I glanced at her again before entering the smoking area. When I entered Cheska handed me the box of cigarettes. I took one and passed the box to Nesa.

After smoking we headed out and went to our table while waiting we talked about school stuff. My best friend Kathy came and I introduced her to Nesa and Cheska who seem to enjoy Kathy's outgoing personality. When the food arrived no one was talking and are all busy with their food.

“The food was awesome MJ!” Cheska said while wiping her mouth with the tissue

“thanks” he replied from the kitchen

Mj isn’t a waiter btw he is the cook which I didn’t know and called him the waiter.

They said their goodbyes and we left. We headed back to the class which is starting in less than 5 minutes. The room was noisy everyone is talking to one another. Until the bell rang and the instructor entered. she started talking about indigenous people and stuff but I can’t concentrate all I can think of is ken. I don’t know why or how but she’s something. 

"Ms. Brook are you with us?" I lift my chin from my desked and saw that all my classmates are looking at me 

I looked at my friends who are smiling like dogs behind me

"ma'am?" I asked

" I said are you with us?" she repeats 

I nodded and she rolled her eyes on me then went back on her desk and continued the lecture

*sigh* 

" what are you thinking?" my seatmate/ my gay friend Devin asked 

"nothing" I replied

"did you meet someone?" he gasped while balling his eyes

"gurl, when?" he asked again

"no I didn't" I shortly uttered

"you f*****g meet someone, that look in your eyes is pure love," he said smiling 

"think whatever you want to think" I just said and looked at the board 

"ok if you don't want to talk now. take your time gurl, I'll be waiting" he replied before writing his notes

*end of flashback*

“I will always remember that day, the day I first laid my eyes on you. Why did you have to leave? why?” I asked tears running down my face. Looking down at her picture in my hand

“do you know how much I’m missing you?”

I went to our balcony and gaze at the sky. I always wanted a balcony in our room and even when she didn’t like the idea. She made it happen and surprise me with bohemian themed decor, I love being her wife because she spoils me with many things. She spoils me with her love, with material things I couldn’t ask for more. I love her with everything I am.

“I’m mad at you, asshole is ready when we meet again. I’m only 30 my love but I’m widowed” I whispered in between sobs

As I look down I saw a figure on the other side of the road I wiped my tears and looked again.

“where did it go? Or am I just seeing things?” I told my self

I shook my head and laid on the mattress as I gaze at the starts, tears rolling down my face. I miss doing these things with her, playing with the kids every weekend, taking them on tour or vacation, having late night dates on this balcony or in the kitchen, having steamy and romantic moments everywhere in the house. I just miss having her around. 

"two years have passed but it still feels like yesterday. I still feel the pain I felt that night they told me you were gone. I vividly remember the cops telling me what they found" I faintly said looking at the sky 

“I miss you wifie” I whispered and closed my eyes while hugging her photo.

“sleep tight my love” I lightly open my eyes and saw her, my wife, the love of my life, my Kendra

I can’t see her clearly but I know it’s her.

“if this is a dream I don’t want it to stop” I faintly uttered

Before my eyes closed completely I felt her lips on mine.