Damaged Realities

A Misreable Existance Indeed

*****************************************7 YEARS LATER***************************************************

I sit on my window sill staring out at the pink and deep blue sunset over the trees. I sigh, hollowly. I'm not looking forward to tonight. Today is our alpha's last day as the leader of our pack. He is old and will be dying within the night.....If you ask him, he's been waiting for this moment for he is been on this earthly plane for far too long. if you ask me fate is cruel. Alpha Kane was the closest thing I had to a father since-

*************FLASHBACK***********

"LORE.....NEVER LET THEM TAKE THE LIGHT BEHIND YOUR EYES"

**gunshot**

****************************************************************************

I flinched at the memory. my eyes squinted trying to erase my tears. "I can hear her voice so clearly sometimes....." I said softly staring up at my ceiling. My attention slowly trails back to the sunset outside. "I'm not sure there's anything left, mom...I'm sorry..." I bow my head into my arms, bring my knees to my chin "I've failed us all....." my attention breaks from peculiar voices outside.

I stare down at the huge grass lawn. There are visitors. Our new alpha will be here soon...

Normally Alpharian Coronations are happy events. It's a celebration, to say the least. But due to the unfortunate circumstances, I don't think there will be many cheers tonight. Everyone who looks happy is making the best of the situation. Rarely is a funeral combined with a coronation. 

I stare harder trying to catch a glimpse of each face. Large events like this make me so uneasy. Royal could slip in unnoticed and kill us all.

I've heard very little about our new alpha. only that he is alpha Kanes nephew. he took him into his care when he was very young. his parents were murdered by rogues. Perhaps we are not that different...besides the fact that his torment isn't actively trying to murder him still.

I hear voices fill up the living room now. any minute my auntie will burst in with a dress in hand telling me to come down. I hate social events. One small memory of Royal and I enter a panic attack and I end up fainting. That's why I stay in my room. It's better without extra attachments anyways. If I solitude myself nobody can get hurt because of me ever again.

I hear footsteps coming up to my attic room. Faster than I could blink Auntie burst in with a smile plastered on her face. She's trying to be happy for me. She and my sister are the only reason i haven't offed myself.

'hey sweetie" she says brightly. her long black hair shined brightly against the light and her smile was even brighter.

"hey," I say softly, not knowing where to place the energy.

"no pressure as of right now, but at some point tonight you do have to come down.  people will talk and alpha Kane is asking for you....he's not.....he's not looking so good," she says turning her head away in sorrow. She was always very reserved with her emotions, unlike my mother. I always thought I got it from my father but I feel as if get it from her. We've always had a connection even when I was small.

"I have nothing to wear" I grumble burying my chin in my black knit sweater. she comes over to me and gently places her hands on my cheek in a motherly way. she brushes my long black bangs out of my eyes; I squint uncomfortably, adjusting to the light change.

"you look just like your mother when she was in her twenties..." she says sadly taking her hands away from my face and turning to the soft sunset out my window. It now had trails of purple bleeding from the blue. "Why do you hide your face, dear," she asks sadly

I lifted my head staring at her with eyes that read 'you know the answer" 

"so I'm not always haunted by her..." I said softly staring out the window

auntie grabs my hand and stares down at me with a gentle sorrow. "come on...I have a dress in my closet you can wear." 

As we walk into the hallway I can hear all of the guests downstairs. My body tenses up with anxiety but I shake it off instantly. I can't be easily intimidated tonight I have to be strong. "Weakness is a shame. Weakness is a shame. Weakness is a shame." I mutter to myself through the hallway to aunties room. 

Auntie opens the door and immediately strides to her closet on the far side of the room. I hear her rummaging as I trail off into thought, staring at details in aunties room.

"THIS ONE!!" auntie bursts holding up a long silky black dress with long lace sleeves and a short turtle neck. It has a slit going up the one leg mid, thigh and it was floor length. it was far too beautiful of a dress to be worn by someone like me. 

I tilt my head examining the dress, trying to picture myself in it. God, I hate dresses. 

"fine but I'm wearing my black stockings and my boots and my hair stays," I grumble firmly.

She rolls her eyes charismatically. "fine get dressed dear." she says handing me the dress.

She strides to the doorway, heading downstairs to greet guests. She stops in the doorway and turns to me.

"I can buy you an hour," she says softly

"what?"

she tilts her head and smiles warmly but here yes read concerned. "look I know this is a lot to take in and I know how you can get when you're overwhelmed. I can stall your absence for an hour. go do what you need to do to be okay when you come downstairs."

I smile gratefully. "Your amazing auntie"

"if you feel as if you're about to faint call me. I'll have my cellphone on me all night."

she smiles closing the door. 

After slipping the dress on I sneak over to my room to put on my black stockings and combat boots. I step back over to my windowsill. as I slide out the drawer beneath I take out my purple tin box. Something spontaneous my father bought me at a mortal store, years ago.

inside I pull out a tightly wrapped joint. Next to it in the tin is my father's lighter he always kept close to him. 

I stare at it hesitating to light it. "I was saving you for an emergency but...anxiety calls I guess..." I say softly.

I inhale deeply as I watch more and more guests fill up the lawn below me. Time passes as I trail off into thought. I stare at the clock on my nightstand. It's been an hour......I Sigh loudly taking on a big long puff of my joint as I bring myself to my feet. I put it out on the ashtray placed in my window and slide it into my dress pocket with my father's lighter. I'll definitely need this later to calm my nerves.

"A miserable existence indeed...." I grumble to myself closing my bedroom door.

As soon as I step out into the hallway I am able to hear how many guests are downstairs. There are over 30 people at least! 

I cautiously make my way down the stairs. the living room is filled with people talking and drinking. My aunt is in the far corner talking to one of the alphas from another pack. We have many allies, including those from other species such as witches and warlocks. Which makes us very powerful as a pack. we have at least 20 armies.

After pausing on the steps for quite some time I decide that the crowd is too much for me. I decide to visit Alpha Kane who is currently resting in the far bedroom at the back of the house. They moved him so he could be comfortable before he dies. I make my way through the crowd. It's so loud people everywhere are laughing and talking. 

I politely make my through the crowd, past a group of Lunas. 

"I love the Royal blue walls. So sophisticated," she says stirring her wine glass in her hand admiring our wallpaper.

I stop in my tracks eyes wide as if I've seen a ghost. The word repeats in my head as my hands shake and my lungs close up.

"royal blue"

"Royal"

"Royal"

"hey there sweetness"

My breath gets heavier and heavier and I can't move. I can't get his sinister smile out of my head.

"Are you alright dear?" a luna asks me lightly touching my shoulder.

I let out a small whimper and flinch before looking up and realizing where I am. I have to maintain composure.

"I'm fine, I'm just not good with crowds.....excuse me," I say softly before running out of the room.

"I need to get some air if I'm to survive this..." I mumble softly to myself before dashing to the door leading to the backyard. Nobody is in this part of the house quite yet so I'm alone finally.

I make my way to the hallway leading to the back door. Lost in thought I happen to bump into someone. My foot slips against the tile floor and my balance is lost. Before I can fall his arms reach out to my shoulders and steady me. I feel dizzy, but not my usual dizzy. this was different...It's intoxicating almost. 

"i-I'm sorry...." I said softly, hoping he won't hurt me for bumping into him.

I desperately want to dart past him and run away from the situation but his body is blocking any means to escape. 'damn narrow hallways' i think to myself.

he doesn't say a thing and he just stares at me. I'm engulfed by his scent. Lemons and rosemary. I look up and gaze at him through my bangs. He is tall with broad shoulders and long arms and an overall strong build. He practically towers over me. His eyes are steel blue with short brown hair. He has perfect beach waves flowing through his hair and his jawline is slender tet strong forming a perfect V shape at his chin. 

My breath quickens and my dizziness increases. I feel as if I'm about to fall over but the word said to me stops me.

"mate," my wolf says

My eyes widen in shock and my face turns bright red. oh no. oh no, no, no, no, no. This can't be happening. Royal will kill him for sure. My lungs feel like they are collapsing and I cannot breathe.

He reaches his hand out to me and places it on my arm. he bends down slightly to get a better view of my face. God, the look in his eyes. He looks so worried and concerned. He has to stay away from me. Anyone around me is in immediate danger.

"I-I I have to go...I'm sorry!" I stammer and running in the opposite direction from where he was standing. 

My eyes filled with tears and I ran. I can't have a second mate......It will bring death and destruction to this entire pack! 

I go out to the back patio where I am alone. I look up to the moon my eyes filled with tears. The moon is full and bright tonight and the sky is clear.

"The triple goddess may be cruel but......you're crueler," I say softly staring up to the moon.

my attention was broke from my phone dinging.

my aunt texted me.

"where are you? alpha Kane is asking for you."

I let out a large sigh. I head back inside. 

Turning into The alphas room I hesitate. I don't know if I'm ready to see him like this. He and I are so close, he is like a father to me. 

Taking a deep breath I open the door to his room. He lies in the bed hooked up to machines. He rasps for breath turning his head towards me. his hand reaches out for me slowly. His hand is shaking abruptly as if he can't even hold his arm up. I rush over to him and grasp his shaking hand. "Don't. save your energy," i say pulling a chair up next to his bed.

"lore..." he says in a raspy voice. "I'm so proud of you," he says

tears fill my eyes. why is he proud of me? I'm broke there's nothing to be proud of!

"you've grown up to be so strong, just like your father.  You like the daughter I never heard, lore...and I'm sorry that ill be leaving you all by yourself very soon."

"stop." I say softly. "don't worry about me. I want you to leave without worry. Don't let me hold you from the light" I said softly tears now streaming down my face.

he smiles. "you're the best daughter anyone could ask for, lore." his eyes water

Is there anything you want before you go? food? anyone else you'd like to see?" I ask him. I want him to be as at peace as he possibly can before he goes. It's the least I can do after the kindness he has shown me.

"my nephew," he says softly. " I want to see him before I go"

I smile warmly "ill text auntie now shell bring him in" 

Minutes later alpha Kane's nephew comes into the room.

'mine' my wolf says

oh god.... it's.....

The new alpha is my mate!

A miserable existence indeed.