The Sacrificial Bunny

Andreas Caster “Want a bite of this cookie?” Phil poked his bare round butt at me. His muscle toned hairy legs and teasing red lips begged me for a taste. I lay in bed, watching the alluring sight apathetically as he held my eyes through my bathroom mirror, winking at me. We have been f*****g for some weeks now, today made it a month. To him, we had a thing going on. To me, he was just feeding into a trap. A void only I knew he could never satiate. The old me would have been spotting a raging b***r from the mouth watering view, but I felt nothing. The crippling emptiness that had been lurking within my chest for weeks had dried me up of my arousal appetite. I couldn't f**k away this specific hollowness. Unhurried disgust rose deep within my guts for Phil's presence, and I decided to head to my living room before I turned into ‘the b***h with mood swings’. “I'll be back.” I lied through my clenched teeth. If anything, I wanted to be as far away from him as possible. I scanned through the fairly empty living room, picking my framed college valedictorian certificate hanging against the plain wall. If regret could burn, the frame would be burnt to crisp, down to forgotten ashes and out my window. Frustration snaked up my gut. The suffocating nature of the emotion triggered me to smash the framed achievement against my old rug. It didn't shatter, but it did leave behind a nasty crack across the glass work and a loud thud sound. Reminding me of how little my blood, sweat and tears accumulated over the years came to almost mean nothing. It was barely a meal ticket at this point. “Yo! What was that?” Phil rushed into the room. His voice disrupted my time of self pity, fully dressed in tight jeans and a sleeveless green top. I forgot I wasn't alone. His presence made me feel worse. I picked up the harmed piece of frame, forcing back the tears that prickled my eyes. I couldn't let Phil see me cry. I flashed him a tight lipped smile. “It fell,” I muttered, waving the frame in the air comically. He squinted in disbelief. “Andrea, are you good—” I stifled a groan from a burst of frustration. Inhaling deeply. “You know what…I think you should leave. Like right now.” I deadpanned, cutting him off. “What?!” Phil exclaimed, clearly caught off guard. His jaw locked with distraught filled eyes. “Are you dead serious?” “Yes.” He became emotionless in an instant. “Okay. Fine. I am done with your mood swing bullcrap anyways!” He stormed past me only to stop by the door. He swung around. “And you are not hard to love, Andrea. You are just one hell of a selfish prick! Seek help!” Phil slammed my door so loud, the post rattled. A parched chuckle left my lips. Was I really selfish? I stood transfixed. Numb from the rhetorical question playing over and over in my mind until an intense vibration on my thigh broke my train of thought. It was a message notification from Mandy. ‘Get your ass down here. I am already thirty minutes late!!!’ I sighed, rolling my eyes. I dumped the flat piece of wood and glass work on the only couch I owned, a one seater piece, then headed to the bathroom for a shower. I got another angry message from Mandy after I was done. It sounded more impatient than the last. I could already hear her cursing me out fiercely at the back of my head for being late to my shift, but I was too empty to feel any guilt. Maybe I was an asshole afterall. I opted for my regular Lakers hoodie hanging at the top of the rack, pairing it with a bigger pair of jeans to hide how much weight I lost from eating unhealthy. I was lucky though. In the midst of my struggle, Mandy's parents were kind enough to have given me a job at their pharmaceutical/grocery retail store to help me get by with rent and feeding.That was until the economy decided to drown the lower class citizens of America. Opening the winged glass doors to the family owned enterprise called ‘Konichiwa Patent store’. The dominant shade of mint green eased the mindless tensed muscles above my eyes. The store had quickly become a safe haven amidst my tragic life. Mandy stormed from behind the counter with a royally pissed frown. When she was close enough, she slapped the mustard yellow service apron hard against my chest. “You made me forty five minutes late for my concert. Thanks a lot, jackass!” She growled at me. “I am so sorry—” I tried to apologize. “I don't care.” Mandy snapped the words right back in my mouth, raking her index finger in my face. “You are doing an extra one hour shift out of mine tomorrow.” She knocked down on the counter; which meant it was non-negotiable. “Fine. Go have fun.” I waved her off. She had managed to startle the older lady she was attending to by knocking the counter firmly. I gave the silver haired lady an apologetic glance after Mandy stormed off. “Sorry about that. You know how young girls can get.” Mandy was only twenty-two, while I was three years older. ~~~~ It was close to the end of my shift. 10:36 PM. My shift ended at 11PM. Most times, I checked the clock five times because it gets really lonely some nights. I wanted to escape this place so badly but there were people still late-night shopping. The teenager I was attending to just got a condom and lube. Leaving the last two customers for the night. I flipped the ‘open’ sign to ‘closed’. One of the customers particularly struck me as odd. A visibly tall man has been snaking up and down the five aisles for a while now. He wore a long black coat and a gray hat, you would think he came straight out of the typical streets of New Orleans. I observed him closely. He never reached for any of the shelved items in the last ten minutes and that specifically triggered my anxiety. The chances that he could be a well dressed thief with a gun underneath the smooth look was enough to cause me to panic over the edge. I picked the mini megaphone connected to the speakers, gripping it firmly in my hand as I announced. “The store would be closing in five minutes. Round up your decision-making making man, and come pay up.” I stared particularly in the strange man’s direction. He tipped his hat at me subtly with a smirk. Was he acknowledging me or flirting? I threw my eyes in the opposite direction, unsure of what to do next. My heart rate was beginning to pick up pace and my inner ear itched from uncertainty. The other teen boy who was the only other person besides me and the strange man, exited the shop without getting anything. The tall man chose the moment to strut in my direction. Every click of his heel pricked my nerves. I was palpitating, yet stuck to one spot behind the counter. Why was I so nervous?