A Second Chance

Chapter 4*Jamie* 16 years ago continued ***steamy***

We had 2 dates over the next week. We went to see the show I had just worked on. We went to dinner and a movie. Every date included amazing s*x, comfortable conversation and romantic affection. After the first date, he asked me when my contract ended and when I told him it was over in April, he asked if I could extend it to stay through the summer. I asked if he was really sure he wanted that sort of commitment already. He told me that he truly loved everything about me and he couldn’t see anything that would get between us.

The next day I made an appointment with HR to discuss my contract.

Unfortunately, their summer staff was already decided but the head of HR did agree I could renew for next season, with an appropriate raise. Disappointed, I told Jordan the news. Without hesitation he said, “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. It just means I’ll be visiting my Baby Girl in NY once or twice this summer.”

I was shocked that a week and a half in and he was already comfortable planning a trip to see me and meet my family a few months down the line. But he insisted he meant it and was excited about it. He was grateful I was able to at least come back the next season.

With that decided, we settled in to our relationship. I was really starting to fall for him. He was everything I’d hoped to find in a man. Jordan was caring, thoughtful, funny, considerate, honest, open minded, patient, extremely good looking and amazing in bed. He made me laugh. He made me wet. He made me feel safe. He was my dream guy. I even heard him on the phone telling his friend I was over that day which made me confident that we really were in a relationship.

We made plans for me to spend the night that Saturday. Jordan was going to a lifting workshop at his gym from 7am- 2pm. Afterwards he was going to come home, eat, shower, and nap and I was supposed to come over later. He was going to text me when he was ready. I was expecting 5 or 6.

Saturday came, and he texted me as he was leaving the gym that I could come over then. He said he still planned to shower and nap but he didn’t mind having me there for that. That was fine with me. I was just sitting around itching to see him. I hopped in the car and went to his place. He carried my backpack into the townhouse. He looked exhausted. I stood in the kitchen as he was heating up food for himself. I had asked how the day was and he was answering, barely glancing at me. I was starting to wonder if I shouldn’t have come over so early. He seemed to be too tired and out of it to deal with me.

“I had an amazing but extremely tiring day.” He started. “I’m starving and worn out… but all I can think about is what kind of panties you’re wearing under that dress.” By the end of the statement he had turned to face me. It took me a second to register what he’d just said. I looked up at him to see he was staring intensely at me, his eyes traveling down and back up my body to settle on my own eyes which were wide with surprise. He caught me completely off guard. I was just trying to not bother him while he took care of his immediate needs. But now it seemed, his needs had changed.

“If it’s plaguing you so much, why don’t you just come over here and see for yourself?” I said, boldly.

He took two long strides across the kitchen to stand right in front of me. He pulled my blue dress over my head so I was standing in his kitchen, right next to the front door, in nothing but a pink thong. He took a step back as his eyes scanned my body. He walked around me to take it all in. When he was behind me he bent me over the counter and pushed his rock hard c— inside me. Incredible that I’d been there all of 2 minutes and I was already wet enough for this.

He groaned, saying, “Amazing that all I can ever think about when you’re around, is f—ing you”.

After a few minutes, we decided to head upstairs to the bedroom but stopped on the landing of the stairs to f— for a few minutes. He bit me and I pulled his hair in response. We clawed at each other’s bodies, leaving scratch marks. It was pure animalistic s*x. Nothing but lust. He stood up with me attached and carried me the rest of the way up the stairs and down the hall, before we both collapsed on his bed, finally. That’s where he finished f—ing me.

When he finally finished, he led me into his ensuite bathroom and we took a shower. When we finished he wrapped a towel around himself and handed me a towel as well before he went back downstairs to retrieve his food and my clothes. After we got dressed, we cuddled on the couch to watch tv and talk for a couple hours.

Eventually, we wanted more of each other and we returned to the bedroom to do just that. He laid me on the bed, on my back, with my head hanging over the edge. He held my wrists pinned on the bed and pushed his huge, throbbing c— into my mouth. The majority of my body was free and yet, I was completely dominated. I choked on him over and over again. He pulled out so I could take a gasping breath and then he pushed back in, as far as he could and held it there while my body squirmed in front of him. He finally pulled out for good, but he wasn’t done with me. He tied my forearms together behind my back with a belt and pushed my face down with my a– available to him. He entered my p—- quickly. Jordan kept one hand on the belt and the other pulled my hair so my head was up and my back was sharply arched. It amazed me that it didn’t hurt, the way he pulled my hair. I was moaning loudly as he pounded into me hard. Finally he came with a yell and he squeezed my hips hard, bruising me. He helped me lay down and cleaned me up before releasing my arms carefully. He rubbed them up and down to get the blood flowing again before leaving briefly to retrieve us each a glass of water and we finally went to sleep.

In the morning, I woke up to him examining me, looking part amused and part concerned.

“What?” I asked sleepily. My voice was raspy, more from throat f*****g than sleep. His eyes widened slightly.

“I’ve really been too rough with you. I am so sorry. I promise, I’ll control myself better going forward. You’re smaller than the women I’m typically with.”

I looked down at myself and saw a myriad of scratches, bruises, and bites. I sat up gingerly and winced a bit though I tried not to.

“It’s alright. Please don’t worry about it. I honestly love it. You haven’t done anything I haven’t enjoyed. Maybe just try to keep it to places typically hidden by clothing.” I teased him. It worked. He smirked at me, relaxing a bit.

“Listen, Baby, I know we agree that we both prefer s*x with me in control. But that means we both have to have equal trust in each other. You have to trust me to take care of you and I have to trust that you will tell me the moment I go too far. I swear I will stop immediately. I need you to be honest with me.” He told me with a stern tone.

I put my hand on his face, “I promise you, I will let you know. I swear, you haven’t scared me or hurt me yet.”

He cupped my face and kissed me tenderly. Looking me straight in the eyes, he said, “This is an apology”. I furrowed my eyebrows, confused by his words.

With that, he pulled my ankles so I slid to a lying down position. He gave soft kisses all over my body wherever he saw a mark on my skin. I squirmed beneath him, breathing heavily. After he addressed every single bruise and bite, he settled between my legs and gently pushed them apart. He lightly blew on my p—-, letting my wetness send a cooling sensation through my core. I moaned and squirmed. He chuckled, a deep sexy sound.

“God, Baby Girl, I love the way you squirm and moan everytime I touch you. I f—ing dream about it. And the way you taste-” he paused to lick me once, “oh, how delicious you are.”

My legs twitched with that one lick and he chuckled again. Then he buried his face on my c—, licking and sucking, leisurely at first, but building intensity as he went on. I pulled at the sheets and moaned over and over again. Finally, he pushed a finger inside me and finger f—ed me while licking my cl– mercilessly.

“Don’t stop! I’m going to come.” I panted desperately.

He upped his intensity even more and I exploded around him. He continued to thrust his finger and flick his tongue a moment longer, riding out my o—-m, before he finally pulled back and let me catch my breath. He slowly laid my legs back down and moved himself so he was up beside me in the bed with the covers pulled back over us. He cradled me against his chest, one hand stroking my hair.

“That was an apology for marking you up. Now that I have a handle on how to make you o—-m, we’re going to experiment with more ways of making it happen. I don’t think I will ever get tired of the look and feel of you unraveling underneath me. It’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever experienced.”

I rolled my eyes at him. He raised his eyebrows at me.

“I’m not even your type.” I argued. “I’m sure you’ve seen better.”

“You are not my typical type, but it’s not just about your physical characteristics. It’s just YOU. The way you feel, move, sound, smell, taste. Everything about the way you have s*x, and…Lord help me, the way you come- it just consumes me. I’m obsessed. It’s hard for me to concentrate on anything else when I have that in my mind.”

I couldn’t say a thing. I just blushed and buried my face in his chest. He placed his hand under my chin and pulled my face up to his.

“Take all that and throw in the fact that you’re also the sweetest, funniest, most intelligent and talented woman I’ve ever met, and it’s a wonder I ever get anything else done. I could so easily just forget everything else and stay wrapped up in you for a long, long time.”

My eyes searched his for a moment, searching for some hint of dishonesty, but found none. He was looking at me with such adoration, I couldn’t do anything but push myself up and kiss him. He kissed me back, softly and we both sighed when we parted.

“As much as I hate to leave this bed, I do have work today.” Jordan said, looking as disappointed as I felt at those words. “Come on, I’ll make us some breakfast.”

We got dressed and went downstairs where he cooked eggs and sausage while I sat on the counter admiring him. After we ate, he walked me to my car, kissed me and I left. I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face the rest of the day. This was it. This was the man I’d been waiting for. I couldn’t imagine anything that would mess us up.

Jordan and I talked throughout his work shift. He thought it was adorable that I’d purposely left a few things at his place for the next time. We talked all day Sunday and Monday like we usually do.

Jordan had wanted to see another show I worked on. Monday afternoon I got tickets and let him know. He was excited. Monday night, he started responding less often and around 9pm he stopped altogether. I told myself not to panic; he probably fell asleep. However, when I woke up the next morning, I still had no responses from him. Now, I was getting worried. I thought maybe he got in an accident or something. I went to work. I was working in the shop alone that day, thankfully. It was around 11am and I was starting to consider going to his home to check on him when he finally texted.

“Hey, sorry I stopped responding. I just got in my head, doing a lot of thinking, and I just am not in a place in my life where I’m ready to jump into a relationship, especially a semi serious one.”

My heart dropped to my stomach and I felt like I was going to vomit. I went into a dark storage room and sat on the floor. I texted back: “We don’t have to be serious. You are the one that pushed us to become an official relationship. What is really going on?”

“I know. And I’m sorry about that. I made a mistake. I wasn’t expecting to find someone I like so much so quickly. I just have a lot of goals that I won’t achieve if I’m seeing someone. I need to focus on those right now.”

I absolutely could not believe he was saying these things. I replied, “What goals? I’ve been supportive of everything you’re doing. I can be a part of your journey, not an obstacle. I’m leaving Florida for four months soon. That’s not enough space for you?”

He stopped responding. I called him later and he answered only to tell me his boss was at work that night, inspecting things and he couldn’t talk but he’d call me later to discuss the situation more. He never called. I messaged, texted, called, sent snail mail and even had Michelle message him and got zero response. Devastated was an understatement.

I spent the rest of my contract drunk. My boss bought me wine. A friend of mine from NY mailed me wine. I swiped beer from opening night parties. I kept alcohol next to my bed, even. I cried all the time. To add insult to injury, my s*x marks lasted weeks longer than the relationship. I kept thinking he was going to realize he’d f—ed up and come back, but he didn’t. I was left to feel like I was right all along. I wasn’t enough for anyone.

My plan was to go home to NY, get temporary work, return to Florida in September and try to get Jordan back then. What I wasn’t anticipating was getting a really great job, and meeting Tony.

Tony and I had completely different tastes in everything. We had very different upbringings and personalities. But he fell for me immediately and even when I told him I wasn’t sure I could ever return his feelings, he told me he was willing to wait and see. How could I not fall in love with someone so sure of us and our future?

Tony and I got engaged four months later, and married the following year. We worked really hard to be true partners in our life together and I can honestly say we were extremely happy up until the day he died, after 15 years of marriage. The one thing that never stopped bothering me though, was Jordan. And I hated myself for it.