A Second Chance

Chapter 15 * Jamie * trigger warning- car accident** steamy scene***

Jordan left Tuesday morning. I had a busy week with work and the kids’ spring performances as well as my son’s baseball season. Jordan and I texted whenever we could but mostly just quick check-ins. His plan was to return before the weekend.

However, Thursday night, I got 2 texts close together. The first from Jordan said, “I’m not coming back” and the second from an unknown number saying, “Jordan’s phone got busted. He wanted you to know he’s not going to make the open house but he apologizes for the inconvenience.”

I started to feel dizzy. I texted back to the unknown number: “Ok. Who is this?”

“His wife.”

My stomach turned and I almost vomited. I took a screenshot and sent it over to Becca. Then, I tried calling him but it went straight to voicemail.

I took a deep breath and called the number that had texted me. She answered on the first ring.

“Yes?”

“Bernadette?” I asked.

“Yes, Jordan’s wife.” She replied slowly as though she were speaking to a small child.

“I’m sorry, but you mean ex wife, don’t you?” I replied, trying to keep my voice even.

“I mean, on paper, yes, we are exes but having him back here….It’s like he never left. It feels like he got what he needed out of his system and now he can be here with us knowing this is his perfect life.”

“I think that might be your own wishful thinking. Look, I don’t want to debate this. I’m sorry if you’re hurting but he loves me, he always has.”

“Oh honey. Our marriage had gotten complacent and he built up a fantasy of you but now that he’s spent real time with you, he realizes what he did 15 years ago: You aren’t enough for him. He got a new phone so he could end things with you cleanly. I know it must be hard to hear and you may not believe me. I’m sending you some pictures to help give you closure.”

Becca walked in right as the pictures started popping up in my texts.

Pictures of Jordan and Bernadette cooking together, laughing, holding hands in a restaurant, the whole family hugging, and lastly, a photo of Jordan asleep in bed.

“I want to speak to him.” I demanded.

“Well, he’s taking some time to be with us again and work things out. He’ll reach out to you about his real estate license soon, I’m sure. You should just let it go and focus on your kids. It must be really hard for them to see their mother move on so fast after their father died.”

I dropped the phone and ran to the bathroom. I got to the toilet just in time to empty the contents of my stomach. I was barely aware of Becca having words with Bernadette before hanging up. When I came out of the bathroom she handed me a bottle of wine.

I desperately wanted to talk to Jordan. Part of me refused to believe this was true but the other part had always feared this would happen. None of the pictures were super incriminating, in all truthfulness. But it was strange that he wouldn’t find a way of reaching out to me.

Becca spent hours with me, examining the photos, drinking, offering comfort and explanations. Eventually, I was tired from the whole ordeal and she went home so I could sleep.

The next day, I woke up and immediately checked my phone but had zero messages. I instantly felt sick again. I took a long hot shower and got ready for the day. I went to the office, had a meeting with new clients, showed a house, came home to make dinner and went to my kids’ spring concert. We went out to celebrate afterwards. Becca asked me if I’d heard from Jordan or Bernadette and I hadn’t. She looked livid.

The next morning, I was driving to my open house (Jordan’s open house) when I got a call from Becca. She and Matt were taking all the kids to breakfast when they were hit by a drunk driver in a stolen car. She said they were all headed to the hospital to get checked out.

I pulled over for a moment. My heart was racing, my hands were shaking. I couldn’t see or hear. I struggled to breathe. I vaguely knew that I was having a panic attack. I curled up in a ball and cried my eyes out for a few minutes until the worst of it subsided. Then I started the car back up and drove to the hospital, where I hoped I’d find all of my children intact.

Matt met me in the waiting room.

“They’re all ok, Jamie.” He assured me quickly, grabbing me by both arms and looking me in the eyes. Matt had driven me to the hospital the day that Tony got in his accident. I think he knew better than anyone what this must feel like for me.

“I need to see them.” I choked out, fighting another panic attack. He nodded and led me through the doors and down the hall to the room they were all in.

My 3 kids were all sitting on one bed while 2 of Becca’s were sitting on the far bed with Becca sitting in a chair next to them.

I threw my arms around my kids and started bawling. They hugged me back, telling me over and over again that they were fine. I pulled back and kissed each of their faces.

“So what happened?” I asked.

“This drunk i***t stole a car and was running from the cops.” Becca said.

“I saw him coming really fast behind us. I could tell he wasn’t stopping at the light so I started pulling off to the side but I couldn’t get far enough out of the way and he clipped us which sent us spinning into another car.” Matt finished.

“And everyone’s ok?” I asked, looking at each person in the room.

“In our car, yes.” Matt said. I looked at him questioningly.

“The car that hit us flipped and collided with a car coming the other direction, killing both drivers.” Becca said softly.

“If I hadn’t moved, they might not have died.” Matt whispered.

“But maybe you all would have instead.” I told him. I put my hands on his shoulders and made him look me in the eyes. “You saved my children’s lives. Thank you.”

He nodded and I kissed his forehead.

“When everyone gets released, why don’t we all just hang out in my backyard today?” I suggested. They all agreed enthusiastically.

Matt’s daughter and Becca’s oldest son came to pick them up and I left with my kids. We went home, changed our clothes and went out to the pool. I filled a cooler with drinks and ice and got some snacks ready for everyone. I’d been heating the pool for a week or two so it was nice and warm even though it was still May.

When the outside air began to cool, Matt lit the fire pit and we roasted some marshmallows. It turned out to be a nice relaxing day despite not knowing what was up with Jordan and everyone getting in a horrible accident.

Everyone was exhausted from the morning’s event. So we called it an early night. My kids all retreated to their rooms for the night and Becca’s family went home to do the same. I was straightening up in the kitchen, when I heard a light knock on the door. It was Jordan.

He took a step towards me to hug me but I put my hand up and took a quick step backwards, keeping space between us. He saw this and immediately stopped short.

“Jamie, haven’t you seen my messages?” He asked.

“No.” I said, confused. I started wracking my brain trying to figure out the last time I looked at my phone. Remembering it was in my purse still from that morning I pulled it out and unlocked it. 15 texts from Jordan, 10 phone calls, multiple voice messages… I looked back at him and shrugged. “Do you want me to look at these now?” I asked.

“Don’t worry about it. I can just explain now.”

I led him to our back porch and we sat in separate chairs next to each other.

“I’m going to start with, you were right. Bernadette did want me back. It took me a couple of days to realize it but that’s my fault. I just didn’t want there to be a problem between us. Anyway, my son had a party he wanted to attend on Friday and I was really not happy about having to delay coming back here but in the end I agreed. That’s when Bernadette slapped my phone out of my hand and it landed in the sink.

“I asked her to send you a message that my phone was busted and I was coming back on Saturday. I found out later that she said much more than that to you.”

“How did you-”

“Becca called and texted me. I didn’t see them until I bought a new phone this morning. I confronted Bernadette and checked her phone. Then I flipped out. I’ve never been that angry. I’m a pretty level headed guy but the things she said to you and the way you must’ve felt…..It broke my heart. We had it out and then I left with the kids. We talked it all through during the flight. I didn’t want to badmouth their mother but they aren’t babies anymore. They understood what had happened. They insisted I come here tonight after I dropped them off at my place.”

“Why didn’t you get a phone yesterday?” I asked, still not sure if I could believe him.

“She kept making all these excuses why we didn’t have time. I should have borrowed one of the kid’s phones to call you and explain. I had no idea you’d talked to her and she’d lied. This is not who she is. She’s never behaved like this before. I knew she was having a tough time and I knew she was trying to rekindle something with me but I had already explained to her that there was no chance. I am so, so sorry, Jamie. I love you. I’ve always loved you. I will never, ever leave you. And you have nothing to worry about with her. She and I….we forced a romance the first few years but for the last 8 years or so, we’ve just been friends raising children together. I promise. Please, believe me.”

He took my hand and I flinched but let him take it. I didn’t look at him so after a moment, he knelt in front of me, forcing me to look at his face. When he saw I was crying, he reached out and brushed my tears off my cheek.

“What can I do?” He asked. “I’ll do anything to convince you nothing happened with Bernadette and nothing ever will. I hate that you’ve been here alone and afraid I repeated history.”

“It’s hard, Jordan. I’ve always struggled with trust because words are so easy. She knew exactly what to say to make me remember how I felt 15 years ago when you broke up with me. She knew what to say to make me feel guilty for moving on at all from Tony. She made me feel like a shitty mom and a naive unwanted moron who fell for the same trick twice. How can I let that go and trust that you want me?”

“I know she said horrible, manipulative things to you, but I swear to you, it’s only because she’s so hurt. The kids told me she’s become obsessed with you. They’ve seen her looking you up on social media. She’s lost a lot of weight because she thinks that’s what I like now. But that’s because she doesn’t get it. It’s not about your size. It’s about you. It’s always been you. She knows now that I wanted you the whole time I was with her and that makes her feel hurt and angry. I’m not making excuses for her actions but I want you to know that she is not your competition. I flipped my whole life upside down for you. I moved away from my kids to pursue you.”

“My kids got in a car accident today.” I told him bluntly.

“What?”

“Becca and Matt were taking them to breakfast and Matt pulled the car aside to avoid being creamed by a drunk car thief but they still got hit. I had a panic attack in the car when she called to tell me. Thankfully they’re all ok but it could have been really bad and it brought me back to that phone call when Tony died and I just fell apart. You know what I shouldn’t have had to deal with? Games from my boyfriend’s ex wife. I am 43 years old. I’m a widow with 3 children and my own business. I don’t need this crap in my life.”

“I know. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I left at all. The kids could have flown on their own. I stupidly thought we could be a family for a few days.”

“I don’t want you to miss things with your kids. I just can’t be caught up in petty drama.”

“It will never happen again. If I have to never see her again, I won’t. You will never have to wonder about me again.”

I leaned forward and kissed him. He was surprised at first but recovered quickly and pulled me against him.

“That was surprising.” Jordan said when we separated. I shrugged.

“It’s been a long day. I’ve missed you terribly. I’m not saying I’m ok, but I just need you right now. We’ll work through it.” I responded.

“Why don’t we go for a dip in the hot tub and catch up on the week before I leave? It’ll be soothing for you after a rough couple of days.” He suggested.

I agreed and grabbed some towels. We went outside. He pulled the cover off and I started the jets. We took off our clothes and got in naked. We talked for a while about work, the kids, and his trip.

“I really am sorry.” He whispered in my ear after a long pause in our chatter. “I missed you so much. It was hard for me to fall asleep at night because I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“Oh yeah?” I asked coyly. “What did you think about?”

“The way you smile when you first see me; the way you fit against me. My thoughts always got more and more risque until I had to masturbate to get some relief from you.”

“Risque, huh?” I replied. “What thoughts were those?”

“I can’t get you out of my head. The way you act when I touch you. The way your body immediately responds. How wet you always are. You’re always ready for me. I like to believe you’ve only been that way for me. The way you move, the sounds you make when I pleasure you. The uninhibited way you let go when I take you over the edge.”

He was giving me gentle kisses along my collarbone and shoulders while he spoke these words. My whole body was tingling in need. He pulled back suddenly and looked me in the eyes.

“You were hurt because of me. I wasn’t there for you when you needed me. So I’m going to force myself to wait another day for my relief. But you,” he lifted me so I was sitting on the edge of the hot tub. “You are going to get what you need right now.”

He gently laid me down and lowered himself between my legs where he ate me hungrily like I was the first meal he’d had in a week. I guess in a way, that was true. It wasn’t long at all before I was shaking with ecstasy and doing my best to keep quiet since we were outside.

When my o—-m finally fizzled out, he lowered me back into the water and cradled me on his lap. He kissed the top of my head. We sat like that, in silence, for a long while.

“As far as apologies go, that’s a pretty good one.” I joked eventually.

He chuckled, a deep, comforting sound.

“I thought you’d like that.” He responded.

After a few more minutes we decided to call it a night. He helped me close up the tub, we got dressed and said goodnight. I knew things weren’t completely resolved but I definitely felt a lot better knowing the truth.