Doomed to Die in 3 Minutes

Ride the Storm of Destiny

I can’t believe this. I guess it’s only fair. I get a little upwards trend of luck with my magic and in exchange, life tries to f**k me in pretty much any way it can. Maybe at this point, I should just try to resolve myself that this is my fate. To suffer predictable and equally frustrating developments that screw me whenever I try to just relax. I get up and get dressed. Normally I’d be embarrassed about being seen in my birthday suit but at this point, they’ve seen everything. No point in trying to hide anything now. Once I’m done Alisa leaps up and wraps her arms around my right arm again as if it was the most natural thing in the world. 

“Put some clothes on.” She giggles as she realises she forgot and somehow dresses while always making sure some part of her is touching me. Impressive, I guess, a lot of dexterity and dedication in her, unmatchable. 

I roll my eyes as I head down and see that breakfast is already ready. It’s mostly just bread and thin cuts of ham and cheese but it’s a very sobering experience to eat it and my head feels much better now that the alcohol is leaving my system and I’m not stuck in a little crisis.

Even sitting down at the dining table, Alisa doesn’t let go of me even in this sitting position. She opens her mouth several times and makes an “ahhh” sound and I guess I have to repay her for last night, I break food apart into bite-sized chunks and plop it into her mouth, and by the reaction on her face, you’d think she’s the happiest girl in all the world. 

Across the table, I can feel daggers trained on me. Olivia’s eyes are glaring like steel to the sun every time I feed Alisa another morsel. Olivia herself has her gaze fixated on us as she ferociously devours the food on her plate without even giving it the time of day. It’s kind of terrifying, to be honest. 

For the life of me, I have no idea why these crazy people would fall for me of all people too but, eh maybe they are just vulnerably emotional in some way they latch unto the first thing they can see, like a baby duck. I guess I’m stuck with them. I’m not even mad at this point. I’m slowly becoming desensitised to my own troubles. Is that a good thing?

I know from some people’s point of view this is progress. I have two beautiful girls chasing me and I’m punishing bad guys but I can’t help but feel like I’m a boat without sails being pushed by a storm back and forth from one crazy thing to another, but if that’s all that I have coming for me, I might as well enjoy the ride, right?

When we’re all done, like clockwork the doors in the room burst open and Vis is there. He’s not at all panicking but I can see the determination in his eyes, it’s just like the day before. I know that look is of a man ready to go to war. I sigh and get up. “Alisa, I need to shout out a lot of embarrassing spiel to very angry people. Can you let go of my arm, please?” She pouts. “Is that how you speak to me? Can’t you put it in a nicer way… and more… lovingly?” Her lashes bat like the wings of butterflies in summer.

I take a deep breath as I pick out the words she wants to hear. That look of expectation in her makes me exhausted but I catch myself about to smile. Oh, that’s bad. Don’t fall for it. Okay, here I go. “Alisa, my dearest, I will attend to this matter on my own, I will prove to you I can handle my own problems. So, I must ask for your permission to set out. I will not be long, my love.” 

Urgh, I feel a bit sick. I think I hear Vis laugh in a very low and muffled tone that’s barely detectable. Man, not like you and your flirting is much better, you use every European word for a friend without reservation and just go for it without hesitation or shame… how do you do that?

“Very well, return to me, my beloved. I believe in you.” She’s also playing a bit here but my heart skips a beat. Yep, for sure she would have been a star that the people would come from all over the world to see. Makes me wish I was still with the troupe.

“So, I think you’ve figured it out already but…” I hear a massive roar of people and the sounds of many horse hooves against the roads. I use my usual costume and makeup to change from Corai to Zelo. The usual grandiose outfit, the slightly darker skin, the little changes to my hair and eyes make me look more bold and reckless. 

I open a window and leap out as I cast the float spell and begin to ascend to the sky. I look around and find the small army of typical metal knights making their way to the centre of the city. 

Time to adlib again. I promised to do this in a way that saves everyone. So I’ll give it all I got.

This is stressful too but at least I can be left to nothing but my thoughts instead of hijinks from mentally unstable ladies and cartoonishly evil villains. Though I guess I’m going to pretend to be one in a second. They spot me and raise a commotion. I start my usual cackling laughter that is amplified to spread across the whole area and boom like thunder that echoes all around.

Let the show begin.