Messy Messier

It's this stupid alarm alarm clock that alerts me of the morning .......ugh!! I hate mornings , they always remind me of my bitter marriage and what I lost . Right now I'm alone in this house with all the money in the world but no love and no one to love . Honestly it was always Allan who showed me love ...I just loved the idea of him and the s*x . This shower reminds me of the s*x with Allan it was the only time I didn't fight him and just succumbed to his touch...'I love you Nana' was what he always said after he released his semen inside of me and I always failed to say it back . Its the smell of this gel that has me massaging my perky boobs and with just a single touch I get feels I haven't had in a long time, it's been at least a year since I had some ,makes me wonder if all the anger and fighting spirit that possesses me is because I'm horny and have no c**k to ride but no .....all my life I had to fight ,I fought my way into my mother's life ,fought my way into high school till the finish but all I had in possession was anger it was always about how I was raised and treated.......I'M BROKEN but that will not feed me hence I keep going. I get to the office ,yes I work and own my own import and export company It's needless to say I'm the most successful yet intimidating female pioneer in this industry . At reception I find a crowd of workers idling around "whats going on here?"-Me ."Boss .......?" -Baya says in a nervous tone ....I'm not only intimidating to my competitors and clients but also to my employees ."Bayanda just get to ghe damn point! You busy lazing around wasting my fuckin' time !?" I shout. I'm easily irritable in the mornings and I don't wanna get worse."Well....boss you are trending and it's not good .....your ex husband has passed on and his family is saying nasty things about you."he utters . "Whaaatt!?" I trail off he he lost me when he said Allan is dead ....I mean how? The guy lived the life of a bachelor even when married. I stumble into the lift to my office with glassy eyes ....yeah sure I didn't love him but death! I wouldn't have thought of it . I get to my office in a much better mood ...one would wonder why the sudden change ...well during that trip in the elevator I figure Allan was just a d**k more especially in our last year of marriage. 7 years of my life was wasted with that asshole and the bliss was with the 5 ,after that he was brave enough to put his hands on me. BUSINESS MOGUL,FATHER AND HUSBAND MURDERED IN A SCUFFLE WITH FRENEMY- The Jorbuger. He was a father? Married ? Wow!! Not even once had he said anything of a kid Yeah no Allan was a d**k and he takes first place. Well life goes on we can't be crying over s**t like Allan My day just goes on as usual