Forever His

CH. 3 -I'm Leaving

Riverliegh

As I pulled up to Savannah's house, I was surprised she wasn't outside waiting for me. But as soon as I closed the door to my truck, she flung open the door and ran down the front steps. Once she got to me, she jumped on me and knocked me to the ground while giving me a suffocating hug. We both started laughing uncontrollably while Josiah stood there and groaned.

"SAVANNAH MAE! Get off of Rosalie right this instant! Leave the poor girl alone, she's been through enough this week. Last thing she needs to worry about is you smothering her!" Mrs. Dixon hollered at Savannah from the kitchen window.

"Oh, right. Riverliegh, I'm so sorry about what happened." Savannah sat up and rubbed my face with her fingertips.

"What happened?" Concerned, Josiah was suddenly behind me.

"My... my aunt passed away last week. We just had the funeral yesterday." Josiah's eyes softened, and I could see the sadness in them. "Why didn't you tell me? I would have been here for you."

"I didn't want to worry y'all. Besides, Luella didn't like huge crowds anyway. It was minimal, just us and a few of her friends from the diner."

"I'm so sorry..." Josiah helped me up off the ground and wrapped me in a bear hug. Not the flirty, rub his hands all over me kinda hug. But a warm, friendly, comforting hug.

The three of us walked inside and took a seat in the living room. Josiah sat on the rocking chair, while Savannah and I sat on the couch.

The news of the cabin gave me lots of excitement and I started to squirm in my seat. There was a lot that I missed out on growing up. And now that I have a place to stay without paying rent, this might be good for me. All I would need to work for was food, clothes, and to decorate my new home.

I think this will be good, really good. And I think that I should take this chance. I never thought about leaving because of Luella, but now I have nothing holding me here. I know Savannah and Josiah will be upset, but they have their own lives at college, and they're going back in a few weeks anyway.

Once we had all eaten some lunch and got caught up with each other, the room had become silent. I decided to take the opportunity and tell everyone I was moving.

"Guys, I have some news... I'm moving."

Everyone in the room stopped and looked at me like I suddenly had horns growing from my forehead. Josiah stood up so suddenly, he almost knocked over the chair as he walked over to me.

The look in his eyes clearly said he was hurt and not happy about it at all.

"I'm going to move. Aunt Luella left me a cabin in South Carolina. It's all mine, and I want to move to start over." I gave a faint smile. "It would be good for me to start over, a new adventure."

The Dixon's looked excited for me to have a fresh start, they knew I had been here for too long. The town was small, too small, and I never really took the time to make new friends. Savannah looked indifferent, while Josiah looked pissed.

"You can't leave Riverliegh!" Josiah yelled as he clenched his hands at his side. Mr. Dixon put his hand on Josiah's shoulder and had him sit down. "I think you need to watch your tone young man..." Mr. Dixon grunted as Josiah rolled his eyes.

Mr. Dixon was the typical southern gentleman, and he did not tolerate men raising their voices to women.

Josiah completely ignored Mr. Dixon and got right back up to walk towards me. People knew about his love for me just by the way he looked at me without him needing to openly express it. He was still pretty quiet about it though, and I privately rejected him every time.

"Riverliegh, I'll move back home. I'll transfer or finish school online. I'll do anything, please. I want to be with you, please don't leave." He grabbed my hand and put it on his cheek.

Savannah was sitting quietly in the corner watching everything unfold, and she looked absolutely devastated. Her mother saw and had a sad look on her face.

"Josiah..." I started, but he quickly interrupted me. "Please Riverliegh, I love you. I always have. You can't leave me, I'm moving back home. I'll get all my transfer papers done, so I can be close to you."

He looked so heartbroken, and I knew he still had a sliver of hope. Even though, deep down, he knew what my answer would be.

I took my hand from his and started picking at my fingernails, a habit I picked up every time I was nervous or anxious. "Josiah... Let's talk in private. This shouldn't be a public conversation."

"No, say it now. They all know how I feel about you." He was practically begging me at that point.

I shut my eyes tight as he gripped my hand again. "This is for the best." I could feel my eyes start to water as my throat got tight. "You are wonderful, and I care about you. But I can't give you the love you want me to give you."

It was that moment I knew I needed to leave, I could feel the tension in the room. The unease from the Dixon's, the anger from Savannah, and the heartbreak from Josiah. This isn't what I wanted, I didn't know he would make such a big deal about it. Deep down in her heart, Savannah knew Josiah's heart belonged to me. And I kept breaking his heart over and over again.

Everyone was silent, staring at me and Josiah. I slowly got up from my seat and walked to the door. I turned around and gave everyone a small smile as I grabbed my keys. Somehow, deep down, I knew I wasn't just saying goodbye to Josiah, but Savannah as well.

I took the rest of the week off work to pack up and take things to the dump to be disposed of. I set up a local property management company to look over the cottage and rent it out. At least that way I would get a monthly check.

On my last night in the cottage, I lay in bed staring up at the ceiling fan. I couldn't believe that come morning, I would no longer live here. I would miss the Dixon's and not seeing Savannah all week hurt, but it was for the best. I slowly drifted off into a deep sleep, wondering if I would see my mystery man.

Earlier that night, I had headed over to the Dixon's. Mrs. Dixon gave me my last paycheck, smiled and told me she loved me. Mr. Dixon gave me a hug and kissed my forehead before telling me that they were only a phone call away if I needed them.

At that point, I had decided I wouldn't call for Savannah's sake. This was her family, not mine. And right now she needs their comfort more than I do.

Josiah had stopped by after I had gotten home, and it was the first time I had seen him since the incident. He looked tired, he had bags under his eyes and his hair was a mess. The haunted look on his face told me just how much he loved me and didn't want me to go. But it wasn't the kind of love I was looking for. I wanted undying devotion, and complete surrender of the heart. Josiah could live without me. I knew he would have more women in his bed soon.

I wanted to love him. Despite some of his flaws, loving him would be easy. I wanted to tell him I cared for him, kiss him, and make him feel better. I was in love with the idea of being in love, and the pain he was going through hurt me to my core. Could I do that? Could I lie to myself and love him, so he wouldn't be hurt anymore?

All the flirtatious comments, always telling me I'm beautiful and worth waiting a thousand lifetimes for. It all made me want to. But I knew he had been with other girls. He knew it too, he couldn't keep it in his pants. If he truly cared, and I mean truly, wouldn't he have waited for me?

Even if I thought I could love him, the sparks I wanted weren't there. The aches that occur when you miss someone. When he was gone, I didn't crave his attention or miss his touch. Something was missing, he didn't fill my heart like Luella said your soulmate does.

Am I being selfish? Am I overthinking things? I'm not sure...

"Riverliegh?" he whispered. He looked at me pleading. "I know I can't change your mind, you've always been so determined." He sniffed as he glanced into my eyes. "I want you to be safe. Please let me know when you get there."

I smiled at him, tears threatening to spill and ruin the remainder of my mascara.

"You know," I started. "You are really strong, Josiah, and quite a hit with the ladies." I winked. "You deserve someone who can love you with the same fire and passion as you do."

I walked over and gave him a hug, putting my head on his chest. He quickly grabbed me and didn't let go. We stood there for a long time as we listened to the crickets sing their sad song. Eventually, he left, and I didn't sleep a wink last night.