Forever His

CH. 2 - Not My Love

Riverliegh

I woke up the next morning feeling a little more refreshed than I did yesterday. My sleep was dreamless, no mystery man appeared last night. Telling myself that Luella was in a better place with Derek, and that she was happier there than she was here helped get me through the night.

I was still wearing the dress I chose for the funeral and I felt grimy, so I took a quick shower and changed into some shorts with a t-shirt and my cowgirl boots. Pulling my long blonde hair into a messy bun at the base of my neck, I pulled a few tendrils out to frame my face and quickly curled them to add a touch of dimension. I decided to put on a bit of makeup, sticking to my simple look of a little bit of foundation and mascara. Packing my clothes from the week into my duffle bag, I took one last look around the room and grabbed the funeral rose off the dresser.

The Dixon's were the sweetest couple, and their daughter, Savanna, quickly became my best friend when we were kids. Savannah and I did everything together when I had some free time. I never had much time to go out to parties or sports games, but Savannah managed to drag me out every once in a while. Having Savannah work at the diner with me helped to keep my mind off working hard times, and add a little more fun to my shifts.

She was coming back home from college today, along with our other friend Josiah. They went to the same college a few states away to keep some familiarity. They both tried to get me to go with them, but never argued when I said no. They knew how attached to Luella I was, and knew I didn't want to leave her.

"Riverliegh! I made breakfast!" Mrs. Dixon broke me out of my trance and I thumped down the stairs with my bag over my shoulder. She took one look at it and gave me a stern look. "Riverliegh, I told you to stay. Why do you keep insisting on leaving?" She put her hand to her chest and made it seem as if she would have a heart attack if I left.

"You know Savannah is coming home today. I think she would appreciate her room without having to worry if I'd kick her off the bed in the middle of the night." I chuckled as I grabbed my plate from the kitchen counter and sat at the table.

I took a drink of my sweet tea, and a bite of my biscuits and gravy. "Oh, Savannah could always sleep on the couch." She chuckled. "Josiah is coming home as well, and I just know that boy is missing you like crazy!"

I took a sharp inhale, causing me to chrome on some tea. "Easy Riverliegh! Don't choke!" Mrs. Dixon rushed over and started to pat my back. "I'm okay. You know I just don't have feelings for him like he wants." Taking my fork and stabbing a piece of sausage, I brought it to my lips to take a bite.

"It's hard to see him knowing I love him as a friend and nothing more." Sure, I felt guilty that I couldn't love him the way he loved me, but there were no butterflies like Luella told me there would be.

Mrs. Dixon nodded her head and started washing the dishes. "I just don't understand why, he's the perfect southern gentleman. He's got girls chasing him all the time, and he's only got eyes for you," she said sweetly.

I keep my promises, especially the ones to Savannah. Little does her mom know, but she's had a major crush on Josiah since we were 15, but I'll never tell. Even without knowing Savannah wanted him, I could never feel a romantic connection with Josiah. I've even started to avoid calls and texts from him to keep him from getting too crazy.

I finished eating and quickly washed my dishes. "I'm going to drop my things at home and head to the lawyers' office, he keeps asking me to come in and go over the will."

Mrs. Dixon gave me a hug. "Alright honey, I'll let you know when Savannah gets home so you girls can catch up."

I tossed my duffle into the bed of my 1985 Chevy Duramax and walked around to the driver's seat. Jumping in, I started the truck and pulled the visor down. I looked at the picture of me and Luella at the lake on my 16th birthday. The few times Luella left the house was to watch me swim, sometimes in the summer. I could out-swim any kid, and Luella would always be on the shore clapping for me.

I pulled into the driveway to our, well, now my small cottage. I unpacked my bag and started a load of laundry. Remembering the rose, I quickly grabbed it and pressed it in between 2 of my books. You know, the really thick and steamy romance books. Those were my favorites.

Once it dries, I'll put it in my rose album. I started the album when I was 6 and got my first deep red rose with a black satin tied to the stem in a bow. I woke up on the morning of my 6th birthday to the rose laying on my pillow next to my head. I remember asking Luella if she had put it there, but she furrowed her brows and shook her head no. She looked completely confused when I asked her about it.

I've gotten one every year on my birthday after that. Deep down, some part of me had hoped they were from my parents, but I couldn't remember anything before I was 5 and started living with Luella. I would try to stay awake every year, but I always ended up falling asleep before I could see who was leaving them.

Once I turned 18, I started getting roses more frequently, and not just for my birthday. Christmas, Valentine's Day, and even small milestones always resulted in a deep red rose. They were always deep red roses with a black satin bow.

As weird as I found it, Luella never mentioned knowing anything about them. She became too depressed to pay much attention. I kept the roses though, and Savannah was the only other person I told about them, but she would always shrug her shoulders and act uninterested.

After locking up the cottage, I jumped back into my truck and headed to the lawyers' office. Parking, I prepared myself for the smell of stale cigarettes and peppermint candies.

The best way I can describe Mr. Rutherford is old and crusty. He was always smoking a cigarette in his office, and had a bowl of peppermints on his desk. Every time I went with Luella, the combined smell, plus the creepy looks he would give me made me nauseated. Mr. Rutherford was lovely to my aunt, but always a flirt with me. Lucky for me, Luella told him I was off limits and he backed off.

"My dear Riverliegh!" Mr. Rutherford boomed across the lobby. "Good morning sir, I'm here to go over Luellas will with you." I made sure to get right to the point. You can't joke or be too friendly with him, or he'll read into it too much.

Mr. Rutherford put out his cigarette and dropped the butt into the ashtray. "Right, come on in and have a seat. Let's get started, shall we?"

*****

I stood outside Rutherfords office, and looked up at the sky in disbelief, silently cursing Luella. I was now the owner of a beautiful cabin on the hillside just outside a town a few states away in Landrum, South Carolina.

The picture I held in my hand was absolutely magnificent. 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, and a huge kitchen. He said Luella hadn't lived there in almost 20 years, so it will need quite a bit of work and TLC to restore it to its former glory.

I'm sure the yard is a mess with overgrown weeds, debris, bugs and critters. But it's all mine. Maybe this is what I need; a fresh start, something different and new. I also got instructions on how to get there once I got to town. There was also a letter with a key to a safe deposit box in Landrum.

I felt my phone vibrate in my hand, and I answered without paying attention to the caller ID.

"RIVERLIEGH!!! Where are you?! I was hoping you would be at the house when I got home..." I could hear the whine and disappointment in her voice.

I immediately felt my heart get lighter as I heard Savannah's voice shriek in my ear. "Oh my gosh, let me drop everything I'm doing and rush back to you." I knew she could hear the sarcasm in my voice and sense my eye roll. I chuckled as she gave an over-dramatic sigh, then laughed. "I'm leaving Rutherfords office now, I'll be there soon. I miss you!"

I hung up and started to walk back to my truck, when suddenly I felt a hand on my lower back. Josiah. He was the only person who had ever touched me there, and I knew it was him.

"Hi Josiah..." I internally groaned and turned around to see him with his hand over his heart. "Is that any way to treat your favorite person??" I chuckled and punched his arm.

He moved in closer to me, almost as if he was going to kiss me. His sea-green eyes went well with his messy blonde hair that was cut short. He always gave off an intimidating aura around others, but with me, he was always friendly and warm.

At 6 foot, he towered over my 5'3 frame. I might be short, but I can pack a hell of a punch. Running in the mornings helped with my endurance, and boxing with one cook at the diner after work helped me with my self defense.

"Listen here," I poked his chest as I took a step closer and tilted my chin up to look him in the eyes. "Everyone knows that Savannah is my favorite." I stuck my tongue out at him, and he let out a huge belly laugh.

"So what trouble have you been getting into since I left? Still an innocent little lamb?" He smirked knowingly as I felt my cheeks go red and hot.

"Of course I am. Unlike you, you're such a horn dog." For a moment, there was a flicker of hurt deep in his eyes, but we both knew I was right. He hooked up with tons of girls, relationships weren't his thing. We were 15 when he first confessed his love for me. But I knew then that he wasn't the one when he went and slept with a bunch of girls afterwards.

You would think he would have waited for me after I told him I needed to process the information and confession he gave me. But clearly his thing didn't think it through. That was enough for me to know that he wasn't the one and doubt if he was 100% serious. If he really loved me, he would have waited.

"Listen, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I was only joking, I didn't mean to hurt you." Taking both of my hands, I rubbed the sides of his arms. "How about we go to Savannah's?"

Josiah whined, "Come on, really? I've seen her enough to last a lifetime. Let's hang out, just you and I. I mean, I am the better looking friend after all." He wiggled his eyebrows up and down at me.

"Oh my gosh," I started. "Technically, Savannah called me before I saw you, so I should hang out with her first." Josiah thought for a moment before giving up.

"Fine, let's go to Savannah's."