When We Love

It was a beautiful day to be out, especially as a family. However, it seemed I was the only to think that since my husband kept on complaining about how hot the weather was and how his feet were tired. "Daddy, carry me!" My sweet daughter was oblivious to his complaints and was just as happy as I was to enjoy this day. My husband grumbled but picked her up as she giggled. I smiled half-heartedly also. The past couple of months have been rough between my husband and I, always arguing about the chores, how tired we are, and our poor little girl is in the middle of it all. I always try to be private about these discussions but my husband can't take the hint. He wasn't always like this... I sigh, and my mom comes up behind me to rub my back. "You okay sweetie?" I smile tiredly at her and nod. Since today was such a nice day and the fair had just opened this weekend, we decided to come out with my parents to see the attractions and eat some yummy fried food! It took me awhile to convince my husband since he just wanted to stay at home to relax. I have no idea why he would want to just keep lounging around since I'm the one that works from home and watches the baby while he plays his video games and sleeps. He used to be so helpful but now, he lets everything fall on me and gets irritated when I ask him for help. He just wants to be a "stay-at-home-dad" that does nothing! Ugh, I feel a headache coming on so I try to shoo those thoughts away. I don't want my little Alice to be without a father and so far, he hasn't completely abandoned her. He takes care of her from time to time, but usually hands her off to me at any chance he gets. "Here babe, I'm gonna go get a water." As if right on cue, he hands me Alice to carry and walks off without so much as asking if I'd like a drink too. The nerve of this guy... Never mind, I won't let him ruin this outing with my precious little girl and parents, I don't always have the free time to enjoy this! My mom seems to understand my internal struggle and walks over to talk to Alice. "Alice honey, do you want to hold your Nana's hand and go see the petting zoo? It look's like they have a miniature pony." Alice's eyes immediately light up and she nods her head vigorously. "Yes! Yes, let's go Nana!" She wriggles excitedly as I put her down and darts right next to my mom's side. I smile at my mom as a thank you and we walk towards the petting zoo. While we are looking at all the cute animals, my husband finally finds his way to us. Not that we were that far away, and I sent him a text of where we'd be but he sure took his sweet time. I sigh again, I hate what I've become because of him. A negative and tired person. I always find something to complain about him and am always thinking of what he does and doesn't do. It's so tiring! I wish I could just enjoy these moments as a family but all I can think about is how he isn't pulling his weight. I just want to cherish the good times before Alice grows up even more, how the time has flown since she was just a baby... I bring myself back to the present, trying again to stop myself from reminiscing the past. We go through each animal Old McDonald has on his farm and end with the sheep. Those sheep seems so sweet looking but can be pretty nasty! Almost like they are judging you from afar. Alice comes up to me with her animal feed, looking a little down. "What's wrong honey?" I crouch down at her level, pulling some stray blonde hairs behind her ear. "The sheep don't like me Mommy, they run away! I give them food, but they ignore me!" She seems that she's about to burst into tears and I chuckle a bit. "Oh baby, they are just scared! You keep chasing them to come eat, how about just standing here with your hand out? Here, put your palms together like this and slowly approach that one." She does as she's told and slowly walks towards the sheep to our right. The sheep side-eyes her warily, but doesn't move. Finally, it seems to catch a whiff of the grains in Alice's hands and gently moves towards her to take a nibble. Alice immediately tenses up, stifling a giggle. Her big, brown eyes shoot up to look at me, shining brightly from excitement. I smile warmly, this is what makes every day worth it. Seeing her enjoy life and have fun. Once the sheep finishes up the meal, it huffs and turns away ignoring Alice again. But she's over the moon that she finally got to have a sheep eat from her hands. I grab her tiny hand and walk her to the exit, where her father is standing idly on his phone. Ugh, what a way to ruin the moment, I think to myself. My parents walked off before this, telling me to call them if I needed them. They went off to enjoy the fair as a couple also, and I told them I didn't mind at all. As we reach my husband, I tell him we should walk around some more and maybe get lunch. It's already 11am and we've been here for almost 2 hours. He agrees without so much as a glance and waits for me to walk so he can follow. I roll my eyes and direct my attention to Alice. "What do you want to eat, baby? Are you hungry?" Alice, humming silently begins stroking her chin as if in deep thought about a big decision. "Mm, I feel like... pizza!" I smile at her goofiness, she's so perfect in every way! "Sounds good to me, let's go get some pizza." We walk around a bit, in search of a map kiosk to look for a pizza stand. We end up seeing that there's a huge food court in the center of the fair, and walk towards it. All along the way we gush and stare at the different artisan stands along the way. Alice sees a stand filled with hand-crafted dolls and dollhouses and just about loses it. "Mom! Mommy, look! Look at the pretty dolls! Can I have one? Please?!" She's talking about a mile an hour over how pretty everything is and how bright the colors are. We have to stop since the owners have seemed to notice her absolutely fangirling over their work. They have big smiles as we approach the stand and welcome us warmly. "Hello there! Welcome to Tiny Treasures, how can we help you?" Alice's blunt honesty doesn't fail to make an appearance. "Hello! I just LOVE your dolls, they are so so pretty! How much is it?" They chuckle at her bluntness and confidence. "Well, the prices vary for each set. Let's see, this doll by itself is $35." Alice's jaw drops. "Oh my gosh, that is pretty expensive...Mommy, can we buy that?" Now it's my turn to chuckle and blush, "Not today, honey, sorry." I turn to them and smile, "May I take a card?" They smile back and hand me one of their business cards, "Of course! We hope you enjoy your day and come back to see us!" I thank them and we walk off back to our previous agenda. I smile at my little girl, she's so brave and carefree, and always says what's on her mind! I love how she's growing up and hope to continue to nurture her confidence. I'll see if I can save up some money to buy her one of those dolls for Christmas... "Hey, I'm getting hungry. Are we close?" My husband's words distract me from my thoughts. I turn to look at him and see he's looking a bit irritated, still with his eyes on his phone. "Yes, honey. It's right over there, let's go."