When We Love

Chapter 5 | A Plan

I dig into my pancakes, and relish in the mouthful of chocolate chip gooey goodness. Yup, I definitely needed that.

I have an uneasy feeling that it's going to be a long day every day until I finally make my husband leave.

"Where were you Daddy?" I almost choke on my food. I look up to my husband, who seems unbothered by our daughter's question.

"Some of Daddy's friends were at the fair so I stayed with them. I haven't seen them in a very long time."

I look back to Alice, and I see the wheels in her mind turning. My poor sweetheart, I hope she doesn't think what I think she's thinking.

"Did you not want to be with me?" Yup, there it is. I'm so angry and I pray to whoever is listening right now he gives her a good answer.

Again, he doesn't seem concerned or worried about the question and simply replies, "Of course I want to be with you, baby. But these friends I don't see a lot since I'm always with you. I promise I'll stay with you longer next time, okay?"

God, I've never wanted to slap him more than I do now. Does he not realize our daughter is questioning his love and interest in her? As her father?

I try calming myself down and turn to Alice, who visibly looks a little upset and confused. "Baby, did you still want milk?" I hope this distracts her from whatever she's thinking. And I'm right, it does.

"Yes please, chocolate." I smile at her, her face looking more relaxed.

I get up to go serve us some milk and pick Alice's favorite mug. Hopefully this cheers her up a bit.

"Can you make me a coffee babe? Add a few creamers too." I swear, it takes everything to not throw these damn mugs at him.

Setting the milk down for my daughter and me, I go back to the kitchen. How long can I go on like this? Everything he says or does just really ticks me off and I don't want to do anything for that scumbag. Why did I let him be like this to me? All these thoughts bubble inside me, as I make him his stupid coffee. I really can't wait to divorce him.

Setting down his mug beside his plate, I quickly walk away to sit next to Alice again. But then, I feel a hand grab my wrist. He pulls me toward him and has me sitting with half my ass on him. I pull away just as quick, my eyes burning with hatred.

"Babe, what's wrong?" He reaches for me again, but I turn away, walking towards the restroom this time.

"I have to pee, I'll be back." I mumble, and once inside the restroom, break down.

This is so hard. I can't do this anymore, I can't fake my emotions and hide everything like he does! How can he just cheat and be with me the next day as if nothing ever happened!! I'm gasping for air, my throat feeling so tight from holding back my tears. I have to get rid of him fast.

But I know I need proof. One of the posts online about divorce mentioned getting substantial proof that your spouse was cheating before taking them to court. That way I could get a more favorable outcome and keep the house and Alice.

I breathe in and out, slowly, trying to find the strength to go back out there.

"It's okay, you'll get through this." I murmur to myself over and over while wiping away my tears. I look in the mirror and you can tell I've been crying. Turning the faucet on, I splash some water on my face hoping it makes things look a bit better.

I need a plan. A way to get the proof I need.

Instantly, I think I know what I could do and leave the restroom.

I walk up again to the dining table but my husband has already moved to the couch and turned the TV on. And he left his dishes for me to clean up, great.

"Mommy, your eyes are red."

"Yes baby, I think my allergies are acting up. Listen, do you want to spend the night at your Nana's tonight? I think I can convince your Aunt Clara to let Lily to stay over as well."

Without thinking twice, Alice nods her head like she's at a metal concert. "OMG YES!"

Her excitement is palpable and I can't help but smile. "Okay, let me give them a call and see."

One more thing to take care of. I turn to my husband, who already is looking over having overheard our conversation. "I'm going to see if Alice can go over to my mom's tonight. I'll be out late and might stay over at Clara's. She's going through something and needs me there."

Jared nods his heads to my words, looking thoughtful. "Alright, sounds good. Let me know if you end up staying with her, okay?" I smile and nod.

My plan is in motion.