Lost

Chapter 5

You feel unworthy when you aren't able to protect the only reason for your survival.

---------------------------------------

Skylar's P.O.V 

Have you ever woke up and realize that you actually felt as if some drastic events took place with you the night before you drowned into the soothing pool known as sleep but now when the morning light is surrounding you, your brain term those events as a f*****g dream? 

Many people believe that sleep is a way of releasing stress and all the s**t clouding your brain but in my case, sleep is acting like my enemy. You know why? At first, I woke up from a deep slumber only to realize that I lost my f*****g memories, then before slipping into the hands of sleep, I saw a giant moon and blurry silhouettes of two people and now when I woke up, I'm feeling like a big i***t once again. Think about this, someone was trying to harm you the previous night and you are trapped inside a huge bubble formed by a random locket you are wearing around your neck and now when you finally woke up your mind is claiming those creepy incidents as a nightmare. 

Now, I'm afraid of sleeping again because I really don't know what more surprises are hidden within the lanes of darkness. I'm just fed up with all this s**t. I wish I could get the answers to all the questions surrounding my mind as I'm frustrated because of the recent events. Even if, I'm clueless regarding my past yet I'm sure that everything is linked with those lost memories. 

I never encountered such things before so why am I dealing with these conflicts now? The reason is simple, those two years are hiding a lot of facts and if I want my answers then I need to reconnect with my lost memories. How will I do that? Even, I don't know but it is the only way. 

I can't live my entire life like a clueless i***t, I need clarity and for that, I will do every possible thing.

Believe me, when you are living like a clueless person you become unworthy in your own eyes. 

I immediately got up from the bed with a new determination of solving this puzzle my mind is creating for a few days. I got ready for my day and joined my family for breakfast. As we were eating or let's say I was eating and my family was staring me as if they want to convey something yet a hesitation was clouding their brain.

"Do you guys want to discuss something?" I asked them and they all looked at each other before looking at me. 

Danny cleared his throat and spoke, "Well, sis we all were wondering if you want to consult a psychiatrist. Mom told us that you refused to do so but we all want to know what happened two years ago, we all are as curious as you." 

I sighed, "Danny, I honestly don't think a psychiatrist can help us in this situation. Think about it, I remember everything except for two years. According to you guys, I went missing and you all didn't get any clue regarding my whereabouts and on top of that, I don't even remember if I was kidnapped or I deliberately went somewhere. How will a psychiatrist help me in this weird situation?" 

"Sky, I know the situation is messed up but at least we can try our best. You can't live your entire life with those missing memories." Dad spoke with concern filled voice. 

"Your dad is right Skylar, you should at least give it a try." Mom encouraged me. 

I looked at them and all were having hope in their eyes, I can't be cruel and deny their request. This is the least I can do for them after putting them into an emotional turmoil for two f*****g years. I sighed and nodded positively making them heave a huge sigh of relief. 

"I will make an appointment with Dr. Michael, he's one of the best shrinks here, I believe he would be able to help you out Sky," Danny spoke while shoving bread into his mouth.

"I'm thinking of joining our company dad. I have completed my business degree so I think I should utilize my knowledge. It will help me in moving on." I expressed my views and they all look concerned. 

"Sky, how are you dealing with this situation?" Danny wrapped his arms around my shoulder pulling me into his brotherly hug. Mom and dad were adoring us like always. 

"I'm confused Danny, lost within this web and I don't really know what to do?" Danny pulls back and cups my face. 

"Soon you would be able to reconnect with yourself Sky, just don't lose hope." He smiled at me while I smile back. 

"Danny is right Sky, have patience everything will sort out on its own. We know you're going through a difficult phase and we will try every possible option for erasing this feeling of helplessness from your mind." As always, dad's words gave me new hope and now I'm more determined to get my memories back. 

"And about joining the company, I really think you should take rest for few days. Refresh your mind and after that, you should join the company." Dad continued and gave me his warm smile. 

"Fine dad." I smiled at him. 

They all are right if I won't even try to regain my lost memories then how will I connect with my lost self.

-----------------------------------------

Xavier's P.O.V

Unworthy! 

That's what I'm feeling right now, I don't deserve Skylar's love. I don't deserve a pure soul like her. Why? Because when she needed me I wasn't there with her, I can't even explain the pain that clenched my heart, the hollowness that broke my already shattered soul even more. I have made her life miserable, do you believe this? I f*****g spoilt the life of my own mate. At first, I snatched a precious part of her life from her consciousness and now when the demons are attacking her even after I sent her away, I'm not able to do anything. How can I live peacefully when my mate is wandering on these unknown alleys cluelessly? How can I smile when she took away my comfort with her? I consider myself as the strongest person, recently I got to know that even the strongest people have their limitations. My limitation is my mate who is my tranquility, my life, my everything. When it comes to her, I want to be her rock who can stay stiff enough for protecting her from the cruel world but her tears can introduce cracks within that rock, it can initiate the breaking process of that hard rock and her pain acts as the intense radiation that can shatter the rock into several pieces. Though I try my best to keep her away from all those creatures that are trying to break her apart, I'm undergoing a struggle every minute, every second after connecting with fragmented Skylar which is nothing much than a severe bruise which can be only cured by Skylar's smile. Skylar is my only remedy who can pull me away from all the inner turmoil I'm going through ever since I sent her away from myself. 

I have to do something before its too late, I can't afford any more mistakes. My one mistake and her life will be at stake. I felt her confusion through the mating bond yet again, see how much I'm stressing her but I can't do anything else. Before bringing her back into my world, I need answers to several questions and for that, I'm going to meet Raziel. Only Raziel can enlighten me about the history of our ancestors. He is one of the oldest werewolves with great wisdom. I remember, my father always told me to seek Raziel's advice whenever I stuck into some sticky situation. That's what I'm going to do, today I need to know why he advised me to send my mate away for some time when our entire empire was under attack. I knew very well that he had his own reasons that he refused to share with me earlier but today, I won't let him escape this interrogation. 

I made my way towards his old house, as soon as I crossed the boundary line of his house, I was surrounded by a blue hue emitting some chemicals making me dizzy. Damm! This old man knows how to annoy me, he knows very well that I want to seek answers from him that's why he is trying his best to change my mind. I guess he needs to know who is the king here, I have to make him realize that he can't use these tacts on me. I opened my eyes with great difficulty and chanted some ancient words making the hue disappear. Before he can do anything else, I used my wolf speed and barged inside his house. He was standing in front of me, his eyes gleaming in amusement while an evil smirk was plastered on his face. I clenched my teeth and glared at him making him raise his eyebrows. 

"What's wrong with you Raziel?" I spoke through my clenched jaw, he chuckled a little while I frowned at him. 

"I was just testing your powers king, I wanted to see if our current king is as strong as our previous ones. I must say, you are just like your father. Fearless." He smiles proudly. 

"You know very well, why am I here. That's why you were playing these sick tacts so that you can escape this conversation." He again smiled at me, what's wrong with this man? Here, I'm concerned about my mate and he is finding my situation amusing. 

"I wasn't escaping this conversation Xavier, I understand the pain you are going through but it is important for us and your mate. I know very well that you will come to me sooner or later so why I will try to escape the conversation which is meant to happen?" He looked at me seriously. 

"Why you asked me to send her away?" I spoke in a calm voice. 

He sighed and sat on one of the couches, "Take a seat, Xavier I will answer all your questions." 

I sat opposite him and he started answering my first question, "As I told you earlier, Skylar is the reason behind many attacks that were happening earlier. Xavier, they want Skylar that's why I asked you to send her away for her safety. Those devils can't cross the barrier which means Skylar is safe in the human world." He finished 

"I know all this Raziel but let me tell you they have disturbed the barrier and yesterday, they tried to attack Skylar thank god she was having our ancestral pendant that saved her on time." 

"What?" Raziel was shocked by this piece of information. "This isn't good news Xavier if they are able to disturb the barrier that means only one thing..." He trails off while thinking about something. 

"What do you mean Raziel?" He was scaring me, I hope what am I thinking isn't correct. 

"Sybil is regaining her power back." 

His mere words caused havoc in my already messed up life. 

----------------------------------------------

When difficulties disturb the stability of your life, just hold on you will rescue yourself very soon.