Paradoxical Love

Chapter 31: Recollection

Weaving the words based on her tragic story, recreating a world in which she eternally fantasizes a happy ending she wished upon.

Even if it's imperfect, it will always be the distinct poem for Safiria. I dedicate this piece specifically just for her that is titled, “Recollection,” the place where the memory of a painful past can have a proper ending even it's a false conclusion, that it can become true in our hearts.

.

.

.

Darkness, darkness remains within her heart;

Drawing close, kept closing, the shadowy hues formed art.

Why does the princess's heart must be troubled?

For she doesn't deserve the life that has already crumbled.

Never wane, never falter, for Salvation is here,

I will carry the burden you have even your fear.

No one will hurt you anymore princess,

This is none other than just a guess.

Even though when you're alone,

I'd prove that stars really shone;

Even when the horizon is covering its skies,

I shall clear the heavens, without lies.

Cease crying my princess, you are beautiful,

You don't need to feel this world so sorrowful.

For I am here ever, forevermore,

Just wait for me eternally, I implore.

You don't need to weep out of sadness,

Open your eyes in this false blindness.

Even if the whole world will go against me,

The recollection of our heart will be at glee.

.

.

.

Reading my poem aloud was actually beneficial knowing there's no grammatical nor any semantic error, I made sure it's perfect when she experiences it. So without further ado, I sent the poem to her through the game's chat system. I'm waiting for her reaction before I finally quit the game.

"Salvation..." She mentioned my name.

I don't know what her reaction was or how she felt the moment when I gave her the poem, even though I only did it 'cause this will be our last time playing together so I had no choice but to give her something she won't forget.

"Safiria?" I simply reciprocated by calling her out.

"Thank you, Salvation. Thank you for being part of my life even if it's short. Well then, goodbye." She bid her farewell, I had an inexplicable tightness in my chest, and later it dissipated immediately knowing I probably made her day.

"It was my pleasure, Safiria. Farewell." It seemed so emotional I slightly regret quitting the game but before I clicked the log-out button, she had one last message for me.

"Salvation... Promise me if we are able to meet outside this world... Please make more poems for me." That was her last request, as always, I'd never turn it down.

"I promise. I will." I did not hesitate to let her know I'm true to my words.

I clicked the log-out button and that day I can't get my mind off Safiria. I'm sentient enough to learn it's very impossible for us to meet in real life, the world we live in was big and even if we do meet, we wouldn't recognize our identities. As I was guessing beforehand, I can't even tell if she's a lady or just some random dude online.

No one knows. I just let go of our promise since it's unlikely to happen. I eventually temporarily forgot all about it as it became part of my fragmented memories that I might disregard forever.

However, I tend to have wrong guesses, as the girl I promised to compose poems for her is standing in front of me, holding my palms with her small and soft hands, discerning the world truly is a small place indeed.

"Will you... write poems for me once more?" Helenia let go of her hold, she lifted her skirt bowing down gracefully like a princess.

However, knowing she's the Crimson Princess, connecting her to the tale of the false princess made it clear as the water. I confronted her, this is all I've got since I don't want to see her cry anymore. I also want to know her true identity, a past in which she accepted that is called fate, she was powerless to her destined future no matter who she was.

"In the past... the tale about the fraudulent princess, was it you? You are the false princess who took the Reina bloodline's name, is that true?" Going back now will be impossible, I faced her acknowledging she'd honestly reciprocate my determination to see the end of it.

The character avatar created in Helenia's image of herself freed from her responsibilities as a princess was Safiria. Her trembling hands did not subside as she held my palm once more, she was cowering in the cold as she tells me the truth.

"Yes. It was me, the false princess who had no name, bearing the title of the princess who passed away from depression... that's who I am." And then she kept her tears in check, crossing her arms and narrating her unfavorable past.

As Helenia had revealed, she was six years old when she lived by the royal family, Reina. She had no recollections of what was her real name nor even had seen the faces of her parents. It's as if she was raised for a specific reason, and then one day, she discovered the family who was taking after her.

She only had learned it when she became the princess, and for the first time in her life, the servants became nice to her and even called her Helenia, the name of the previous princess who had a fragile heart.

The girl behind her name and title was, in fact, only raised for the sake of replacing the princess if things go south. In this way, the Reina family will forever be part of history.

 With this in mind, she was trained just like a princess should do, she was taught proper noble etiquette and become what the society expected her to be.

Until she realized she was being forced to become who she isn't and to avoid reality, she discovered the means of escaping the world temporarily, and that's when she learned to play games, which I find very touching considering I also find comfort inside a fantasy, be it a game, novel, or anything that I can visualize myself.

"You were..." I can't say another word, I faltered for a moment there.

"I never dreamed of being a princess... I learned how to escape my responsibility by playing games. And that's where I met you, whenever I'm depressed, or sad, you're always by my side and I'm positive I won't end up like the real princess." Helenia managed to speak out what's in her heart.

"Then my poems were also your form of escape?" I pointed out the letter envelopes in her hands; including the ones that are on the table.

"Even within the game, I can feel you by the poems you make to me. They are my strength, my will to live, your poem compendium was my everything! So please stay by my side, I can give you whatever you want. Anything you desire be it fortune or myself! So please continue to make poems for me..." Helenia pleaded and offered her all, she was able to overcome herself and face the reality again.

Even if the past has chained her destiny; all of that disappeared when a tear droplet dropped on the envelope she was holding, and later her sobs turned to an outburst of wails opening up a new strength in her heart. I guess this is the perfect time to comfort her with my words and respond to her wholeheartedly.

"Safiria... I mean Helenia. I believe in you, so you can let it all out. You are who you want to be, I know you took the name of the real princess, but who cares? No one said a false princess doesn't deserve to shed tears, be confident in yourself more, you're better than what you think." I couldn't hold my brakes and gave her the encouragement she needed.

Just this once, I simply can't contain this anymore that she's crying with both her palms on her face. I squeezed her so gently and peacefully while patting her head comfortably the way she can relish it.

"Don't force yourself. I'll keep my promise and write another poem just for you. So, don't cry okay?" The vow I had means I should uphold my words, I merely fulfilling the unbroken promise I had forgotten.

"Really?!" Helenia embraced me so tightly I thought I'm going to let out the lunch I munched down this afternoon. I managed to push her away, anymore than this I might pass out of suffocation.

"I'm sorry if I can't do the daily making of poems. I'll make sure to make you one every now and then." I can at least fulfill the promise while also making time for myself.

"It's okay! I'm so happy because it's you, Salvation!" She's getting too excited calling me by our nicknames.

"Drop the Salvation. I have a name, don't I?" I was a little bit embarrassed hearing it in person rather than reading it through a personal message.

Honestly, I'm glad she has gone back to being a mischievous princess who always throws a tantrum. I was going to live and maybe write a poem for her once I got back home but she told me something that almost fainted me.

"So, you're my boyfriend now, right?" Helenia winked a few times, I looked behind me thinking there was someone other than me, and it turns out it was me that she was referring to unmistakably.

"Wait, hold your horses, what did you just say?" I'm perplexed and confused unable to comprehend what she meant.

"You agreed that you will make poems for me, so that way makes you my boyfriend." The way she rationalizing things was so illogical it doesn't mean that making poems could mean we become partners.

"That's not how my promise works!" I instantly took my chance to escape, although she was fast enough to tug my leg, causing me to fall on the floor.

"You can't escape hehe, so don't worry I won't hurt you." She giggled, her violent tendencies were somehow on strike today I can't afford to get beaten up now, she wasn't as crazy as the Council President, but I should get out of her clutches, or else she might tie me up here for the rest of the day.

I hope I can go back home in one piece, someone or anyone, I need help to get out of this misunderstanding. I just got myself a girlfriend who happened to be Matilda who could shatter the world for me; getting involved with Helenia calls for a really huge predicament if not amended.