More than Distance

6

“But does it have to be this job, on a reality TV show in New York?” I blurted out. A pang of guilt hit me for being selfish, but come on! This was supposed to be my big moment, not a matching mommy-and-me career change. “Surely there are lots of other places that would hire you here in LA.”

“Dad, couldn’t you go with her?” Daniel asked. “Why do you have to split up?”

Dad shook his head. “I can’t leave now. We’re opening that new location in Marina Del Rey and it’s going to be our biggest one yet.”

Daniel sat up straighter, his mouth set in a hard line. “Let me handle it. Now that I’m done with business school I can take on a lot more responsibility at the shop.”

“It’s not just that,” Mom said. “This has been coming for a long time. We both just…need our space. We still love each other very much, but twenty-five years of marriage is a long time and we need to be on our own for a while. I gave up so much of myself when I quit modeling to be a mother, and I need to find that part of me again. Alone.”

“You can’t be serious,” I said. “Dad, you’re not going to do anything?”

“All I want is for your mother to be happy.” He sounded completely miserable.

Daniel slammed his palm on the table. “That’s bullshit.”

“Language!” Mom turned to Ryan with a sympathetic smile. “I’m so sorry to spring all this on your first night back.”

Ryan’s face was a tight mask, showing little to no emotion, but his hand gripped his fork with white knuckles. “No, I’m sorry. I should have checked first to see if tonight was a good night.”

“Nonsense. You’re always welcome here, and this will probably be our last Sunday family dinner for some time.”

Or maybe ever. She didn’t say it out loud, but she might as well have. We were all thinking it.

I felt like I might start hyperventilating at any moment. Everything was falling apart around me. My own breakup had been bad enough. I’d spent the entire week crying my heart out and trying to get past the pain of catching my boyfriend screwing another girl. Tonight was supposed to help me forget about that. I’d look at my parents and their perfect life and remind myself that relationships could last and that true love was real. But now Ryan was here—a reminder of my other biggest heartbreak—and my parents were splitting up and I just couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t.

Tears pricked my eyes. I had to get away fast before I broke apart completely.

I threw my napkin on the table and stood on shaky legs. “I’m sorry, I…I have to go.”

“Carla?” Mom asked, her expression worried.

I heard them call after me, but I was already grabbing my keys and rushing out the door. Before I knew what I was doing, I’d slid into my old Mustang and switched it on. The engine rumbled to life and I fixed my eyes on the road. I did the only thing I could with my entire life crumbling to dust around me.

I drove.

Three

Ryan

Well, that was a s**t show.

I slammed my motorcycle helmet on and climbed onto my bike. What the f**k was I thinking coming back here tonight? The second I walked in and saw Carla’s face I’d known it was a mistake. Then there was all that s**t with her parents. I couldn’t have picked a worse moment to show up out of the blue after six years.

I revved the engine on my Ducati and took off, zooming down the quiet street lined with nearly identical ranch houses and well-manicured lawns. Even though I hadn’t been here in years, it still looked exactly the same as when I’d left for college. I’d expected Daniel’s family to be exactly the same too. My mistake.

Instead of heading for my next destination, I turned onto a busy street and really took off, the motorcycle roaring to life under me. I needed a few minutes to clear my head, especially after what I’d just seen. The Jacksons had always been like my real family and their house had always felt like my true home. They were the perfect parents with the perfect marriage and the perfect kids. For some reason they’d let me be part of it, even though I wasn’t perfect in the slightest.

Now I’d just watched it all implode right in front of me.

If my perfect family was falling apart, how could I expect to repair things with my total s**t one?

And seeing Carla again…fuck. I hadn’t expected it to hit me so hard after all this time. In the past six years, Carla had become a woman. No longer was she the lanky kid who’d always seemed too long-legged and clumsy for her own body, nor the flustered teen with long lashes and a shy smile whose cheeks darkened every time I’d said a word to her. No, she’d transformed into a stunning beauty with legs that went on for miles, dark skin that looked impossibly smooth and soft, and those wild brown curls I’d always loved. I’d seen pictures of her, of course. It was tough not to, when her photos were all over the damn place these days. But those photos never seemed real, almost like there was an actress playing Carla in them. I could pretend the images of her were airbrushed to perfection, that it was all a trick of lighting and makeup. Once I saw her in person again I realized that none of it was fake. If anything, she was even more stunning in real life than in those photos.