More than Distance

19

Maddie, on the other hand, looked exactly like the warm, geeky girl she was, with her long brown hair and black-rimmed glasses. I’d met her in my freshman year of college, along with Julie. They’d quickly become my new best friends, and even though I’d had friends in high school, it was nice to hang out with people who didn’t know me as “the girl who almost died of cancer.” I’d never told Maddie or Julie about the time I was sick, about the years of chemo and other treatments, about the months living in a hospital. They never knew that my hair, my wild, untamable, glorious hair, had all fallen out and then took forever to re-grow.

Those years were a dark spot in my past that I tried to put behind me as much as possible, even if my parents reminded me about it all the time. Ryan was another reminder of that past. He’d been with me through the entire thing, from the first moment I’d gotten sick to the time the doctors had told me I was in remission. He’d sat with me during hours of chemo. He’d shaved his head with my brother in solidarity when I’d lost my hair. He’d brought me books and played video games with me to cheer me up. Was it any wonder I’d fallen in love with him? And that I’d thought he’d felt the same about me?

Now I knew better. Just like I knew he wasn’t offering to come with me on the show because he had romantic feelings for me, but because he wanted to act like my big brother again.

Maddie poured the Merlot into the glasses and passed them out to us. “Okay, spill. What happened? Something with your parents?”

“Was it Daryl?” Becca asked. “Cause I swear, I will punch him right in the balls.”

I choked on my wine with a sad little laugh. “No, it’s not Daryl.” If nothing else, my parents and Ryan had distracted me from that drama. “I mean, Daryl is still the worst, but so much else has happened in the last twenty-four hours. First, I found out last night my parents are splitting up.”

“Oh no.” Maddie rushed forward to give me a hug. “I’m so sorry.”

“That blows,” Becca said, giving my arm a squeeze.

“I don’t understand it at all.” My eyes watered up. Maddie grabbed a nearby tissue box and handed it to me, just as the tears started to roll. “They always seemed so happy. But after twenty-five years of marriage they’re just…done. How can they do that?”

“I don’t know,” Maddie said. “Did they say why?”

“Sort of. My mom is taking a job as the host of Behind The Seams in New York and she’s moving there and Dad isn’t going with her. She said they needed space or something, that she wanted to focus on her career again. I don’t get it. If they love each other why can’t they make it work?” I wiped at my eyes with another tissue.

Becca refilled my wine glass. “Whoa. That’s big. She’s moving to New York?”

“And hosting a TV show, like you are?” Maddie asked.

I sobbed a little into my tissue. “Well. That’s the other thing that happened. I lost my job.”

They listened while I explained about my phone call with Giselle and her subsequent offer, although I left out everything about Ryan. They had no idea who he was and were clueless about our complicated past.

“So she fired you from one show, but invited you to compete on another show?” Maddie scrunched up her nose.

“Something like that.”

“That’s bullshit,” Becca said. “She should have offered you the job she gave your mother.”

“No, I wouldn’t want to take that away from my mom. She seemed so excited about it.”

“Are you going to go on Road Trip Race then?” Maddie asked.

“I don’t think so. I need to spend the summer finding a job and a new place to live.”

Becca jumped to her feet. “Screw that. You should go on the show.”

I blinked up at her. “Really?”

“Definitely. I f****d up and missed my chance to go on The Sound with the band, and I’ll regret it forever. Don’t make the same mistake.”

“It worked out in the end though,” Maddie said to Becca with a smile, before turning to me. “But I agree with her. You love that show. It sounds like you could use an escape right now, and you can look for a job and an apartment when you get back. You should do it.”

“Hang on,” Becca said, before running into the kitchen. I blew my nose, while Maddie patted my back softly and let me ponder their words. Becca returned a few minutes later with a plate full of hot, gooey chocolate chip cookies that looked and smelled like pure heaven.

“You two are the best,” I said, as I took a cookie. They knew exactly what I needed after the rough week I was having. “But I haven’t even told you the other thing.”

“What, there’s more?” Becca asked.

“It’s stupid, really.” I shoved a cookie in my mouth and let the warm chocolate melt. I didn’t know why I’d brought up Ryan. He was a part of my life from before I’d met them, and he would be gone from my life again soon. But I knew if I didn’t talk this out with them, I’d be up all night obsessing over it. “My brother’s best friend Ryan showed up at dinner last night out of the blue. I haven’t seen him in six years, and I once had a huge crush on him when I was a teenager, but he didn’t feel the same about me. Now he’s back and he’s the only person I can get to go on the show with me.”