When She Sleeps

Aftermath

A tree blocks my path to what once was my family home, where I grew up my entire life. I feel a tremendous fear wash over me and I jump out of my truck without thinking and run to my mother's home. As I get closer the tears start pouring down my face. “Mom!” I scream, I feel a sharp pain in my foot and wince out in pain. I had stepped on something, and it pierced my boot, I stumbled and fell into the wet grass. It was a nail, one of those long ones they use to nail roofing together.

“f**k!” I grabbed the nail and pulled it out; my foot immediately felt warm and wet. I’m pretty sure it went through the top of my foot, but I don’t have time to look. “Mom!” I yelled again hoping she’d come help me up like she used to when I would fall. I pulled myself back to my feet and ran up the driveway!

There is nothing more eerie than silence turning into desolate cries. “Mom!” I screamed again and again! Nothing. I pulled my phone out and started calling her number. The phone is ringing, catching me by surprise. I hear nothing and I start to panic! I keep calling, but there is still no response. This is a pretty shitty day to leave your phone on silent I thought. The sound of alarms and sirens all around me aren’t helping either.

Walking towards the back of the house where the bathroom and storage closet is I call again, I hear a faint ringing. “Mom!” I panicked “mom are you okay?!” Faintly I hear moaning “Benji I’m hurt really bad baby go get help!” “Okay momma please stay still I’m going to go ask for help, it’s going to be okay, we are going to get you out of there hold on!”

“Help,” I yelled, “my mother is trapped!” A few neighbors heard me and ran towards me. I ran back to the house as fast as I could! “Mom, mom I’m back are you okay?” “Be.. benn..” I heard softly, “don’t worry mom I got you okay.” My entire foot felt soaked and sticky. I didn’t care, I started moving bricks and drywall. Some things I lifted had to have weighed a couple of hundred pounds, at least I couldn’t feel it. My heart was pumping, and the humidity made it look like I had just finished swimming. “Mom! Stay with me!” I yelled. I dialed her number once more, only to discover that her ringtone had increased in volume. I was relieved when my neighbors and a first responder quickly arrived, ready to lend a hand in clearing the debris blocking our path.

The street was suddenly filled with a multitude of police officers and ambulances, creating a mesmerizing display of flashing lights. Swimming through a current of brilliant light, driven to clear away obstacles with every bit of my strength.I look up to catch my breath and the world started spinning, sounds blur and I stumble and catch myself.

“Sir you need to come sit down, fire is here they will finish the search,” a tall policeman says to me. “No! I yelled “she is my f*****g mom.” I turned and started moving more drywall. As I moved the drywall out of the way I noticed a Nike shoe under a sheet of metal. It was my mom's shoe.

“I found her!” I yelled, and firefighters rush in as I get pulled back by police. I fight and pull away. “Sir you’re bleeding are you hurt let us help you!” I look down to see a horrific mangled leg with a four-inch gash right above the same foot the nail went through. Blood was pouring out of my boot. I look back up to the police officer and immediately feel the dizziest I’ve ever felt in my entire life.

Sounds are muddled and distorted, but I hear a firefighter say that there is no pulse and to get a trauma room ready. The world goes black. Now they say out-of-body experiences are real, I never believed them until today. I couldn’t speak, it was like I stole my own words from myself. I could only see. I saw myself laying unconscious in a large puddle of my own blood.

Emts are surrounding me, they’ve cut my shirt off and my pants. Now I see, a thin piece of sheet metal is still lodged into my thigh. It’s pretty deep. They are working hard to get the bleeding to stop. I’m not worried about myself though I need to find my mom! A few feet away from me, I hear charges and beeping, at least 6 people stand in a circle around mom and they’re solemn. The beeping stops, the counting stops. They’re all looking down.

I caught a glimpse of what they were all looking at. My beautiful mother. “Benji, you’re going to be late for school I’ve got you some breakfast in the fridge!” “ Mom I really don’t feel like going today, John keeps making fun of me, and everyone laughs at me because of my weight.”

My mom sighed, “you don’t have to go today Benji, but you can’t let them bother you, you are perfect in every way.” “Thanks mom, you’re the best I’m just so tired of it, it’s every day. I try not to let it bother me, but it sometimes does.” "It's completely normal to feel upset when someone is causing us distress. "You have every right to experience those emotions, my dear," she reassured in her charming honeyed southern accent.

Now I’m looking at my mother’s pale blue lips, her hair and face drenched with rain. Insulation caked in her blood stained blonde hair. Tears still flooded her eyes. Immediately I can tell she’s gone, her head caved in on one side appears to be the fatal blow. Her body was more purple than white, almost black purple. Cuts and scraps covered her once flawless skin. Her chest was also caved in, a huge block lay next to her. I’m sure it is the reason her chest is so badly deformed.

I can’t cry, I can’t scream. Am I dead too?

“Benji?!! Are you okay? A soft voice consumes me.

A flash of bright lights stings my eyes and makes them water. My eyes open. Looking down at me was a short woman I had met earlier that day. In scrubs, she was taking my vitals from what I could tell.

“Sarah?” My voice cracked, “where is my mom?”