After all these years

In these seven years, a lot has changed about Baghdad. The city had become quieter and more forgiving. Peeking out through the hotel window, Ashar looked at the city, trying to remember the city as he had last seen it. He checked his phone to see if there were any new messages from Leila. Waiting was something he hated the most. He had still not come to terms with the functioning smartphone he purchased after coming out of prison. Keeping up with technology hadn’t ever been his talent.   He saw two ladies and a child approaching the hotel entrance. He ambled through the room in anticipation and nervousness. It was finally happening. He took a sip of water and stood in front of the mirror looking at himself. At that moment, he realized he couldn’t recognize himself any longer. He was once a handsome bureaucrat having a decent salary, a luxurious home and a loving wife. The past few years had taken everything away from him. Seven years in prison, he had seen the worst life had to offer and it seemed like a lifetime. Vivid images of the Iraq war started flashing in front of him. Those who should actually should have been arrested had fled the country and chosen few were conveniently incarcerated for something they hadn’t done.   This train of thoughts was put to a halt by the sound of the doorbell. He opened the door with jittering hands to see his ex-wife standing in front of him. He seemed to have forgotten the social etiquette of meeting a human and stood there frozen. Leila asked if she could come in, to which he simply nodded his head. She went in and sat on the corner of the bed. He stood there; his eyes fixated on her hazel-colored eyes. She didn’t seem a day older. “Who was that lady and kid you came along with”, Ashar asked to initiate some conversation. “Oh that, it was Sara (her younger sister) and her daughter. They are waiting at the reception.” She replied. “How have you been?” “Just fine. I moved back to Uncle’s place and started a job as an accountant in his factory. It didn’t pay that well, but I had nothing to complain about.” “Would you like a tea or a coffee?” “No, I am okay. How have you been?” “Amazing; prison isn’t all that bad if you see,” he smirked. Leila had a little smile on her face and her eyes welled up with pain. She has also suffered a lot in these past years. She looked at him and asked him to sit with the movement of her eyes. He sat beside her and looked at her with a look that was both happy and guilty, ecstatic yet painful. “So, I talked to some realtors about selling our house. They are offering a decent amount of money. So, then we can think about renting a home near your job and I could also start, you know, looking for some source of earnings.” “I quit that job, Ashar. I am working at a different place now.” “Oh, I see, where is it?” “It’s a garment shop in the main market.” “That’s perfect. You know Arif, my classmate, has a bookshop there and has a vacancy for librarian…” “I am married to the owner of the shop. Sara also lives with us as her husband has gone to Dubai” she said, trying hard not to match his eyeline. Ashar stayed silent for a while trying to process what had happened. He tried to mouth words but no sound came out. “I am sorry, but what was I supposed to do? I had no support; emotional or financial. I couldn’t wait for you. It was for the best.” She almost cried. “It’s okay you did the right thing”. Ashar finally got the courage to say something. They were both sobbing in silence. Ashar looked back at Leila, trying to place his hand on her back, but stopped midway. He closed his eyes and felt numb inside. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Sara came in and asked how much time they needed as the receptionist was pestering her with all sorts of questions. “I’ll be down in ten” Leila replied. Ashar could see a small silhouette in the hallway and suddenly it formed the shape of a little girl. She barged into the room and picked up a shiny sachet kept on the table in the room. “It’s not a candy, Myra. It’s a coffee pouch. Keep it there from where you picked it” Leila shouted at her. Myra defied a head movement. Leila stood up to slap her when Ashar intervened. He picked her up and offered her a chocolate in her pocket in exchange for the sachet. She agreed and started eating the chocolate. Leila started walking towards the door and looked at Ashar with a glance that said ‘maybe that’s it’. He looked away and started talking to Myra. “What’s your name?” “Myra” “Do you go to school?” She nodded. “How old are you?” Myra showed up her six fingers and smiled. “It’s time to go. Come here” Leila exclaimed. Myra nodded a no as an answer and placed her arms around Ashar, hugging him tight.   Ashar asked her to obey the elders and tried removing her hands around her neck. He suddenly noticed Myra's hazel-colored eyes. Leila grabbed her and the three of them left the room. Ashar felt he was wrong in thinking this morning that he had lost everything. It was now that he lost everything; he realized after keeping the chocolate wrapper in his pocket.