Breakthrough

A million questions.

Ava kept chewing on her pen. It had been a week since the crystal ball incident and it took all she had to continue a semblance of routine after seeing a woman inside of her family heirloom. What did it mean? What did she want to say to her? Was she some ghost?

"Lady. Hey lady, I said no mayonnaise! This looks like a Mia Khalifa video!"

The guy behind the counter abruptly brought her back to the deli she worked at. She had been working there since she graduated, looking to make ends meet til she found a job in her field. No luck yet, but that was promptly placed on the back burner now that she found herself consumed by all these unanswered questions.

She spent most of her life meeting everyone else's expectations of who she was supposed to be. And for a while there, she was content with this. But this also brought a feeling of lack, deepened by constant comparison. When she would allow herself a break from the script, she wondered why was it that she was constantly yearning for things: love, connections, possessions, appearance. She was taught to chase, that there was a path, a destination. And maybe this lady in the crystal ball would bring her closer to everything she found herself pining for.

Ava finished her shift and went straight home. She was determined to find whatever answers she could. Her grandma was sweeping while the TV was playing one of the chisme shows she liked to watch -if judging was a sport, grandma Gogo would be an Olympic medalist- when Ava came through the living room. After warning her not to step on the dirt, Gogo looked closer at Ava and stopped sweeping.

"What's in your head, Avita?", she asked, "you're looking a bit more absent-minded than usual, and that's saying a lot!"

"Me? Absent-minded? Gogo, you are talking nonsense! ¡Puros disparates! I am the most present person you could ever find, I am always aware of my surroundings!" Ava said with shifty eyes while tip-toeing around the couch and pretending to dodge invisible punches.

Gogo laughed. "Ay, mija, déjate de cosas. I'm serious. I don't see that pretty smile I like so much and I worry."

Ava stood straight. She played a million conversations in her head, trying to explain the events with the crystal ball and how she felt it would connect her with a side of herself she wanted to explore, but all of them had terrible outcomes. She loved her grandma, but Gogo was old-fashioned and Ava wasn't even sure what happened herself. She didn't want to complicate things and potentially have the family prying into her business; she knew grandma's tongue was like a leaky faucet and, before she knew it, she would have everyone interrogating her, possibly ridiculing her, and pushing her to focus on getting her head straight. Whatever that meant nowadays.