SWEET SPOT

Autumn mornings, sunshine and crisp air, birds and calmness, year's end and day's beginnings. It poised like a teenager on his first day in college. The atmosphere warm as ever. Sounds of leaves rustling on the ground was like it was coming from a sleep app off apple store. For Jackie it was full of excitement for pumpkin spice lattes, nervousness about the kids going back to school, anxiety about the colder weather, and dread about the shorter days and darker nights. How do we cope with this mix of emotions? The time when everything bursts with it's last beauty, as if nature had been saving up all year for the grand finale. Rays of sunlight streams golden through the window inviting the vibrant glow of a new day. The sun settled of her dark skin, letting out a glow like the translucent streets of heaven. The warmth it brought made her move lazily on her queen sized bed. Had her contemplating. It was mornings like this that made her loathe her life choices. Why didn't she just settle down and become a housewife. Her ancestors did it, why couldn't she? Wasn't she told to look up to the ancestors? She wouldn't feel motivated but then she remembers Andy. The human that brought colour into her neutral, boring life. I mean, she also wonders why she didn't just go home like normal people after prom instead of going into the principal's office, but she doesn't have all the answers. She doesn't have any answers. She stretched a little as she reached for her phone that was plugged to the charger on the bedside table to her right. She couldn't remember how, but her phone battery ran down before she could get through half of the day before. All she knew was she needed to charge it to full and plugged it in as soon as she retired to the bed she currently laid on. She turned on the power button and a pink lockscreen with the words 'You Can' written in italics appeared on the screen. Those were the two words she always saw when she turned her phone on and they always put her mind at ease when she felt overwhelmed. She slid up and a picture of her daughter was there to make her smile. Her eyes as pretty as the honey in the jar in her cupboard. Her hair packed up in a bun and that smile as radiant as the stars at night. Her eyes gentle moved up to the notification bar and she blinked unbelievably at the voicemails it revealed. Wondered why, because she hardly got voicemails, then remembered her battery ran down the night before. She groaned as she sat up. Whose voicemail was she going to listen to first? She ogled as she saw one was from Dr. Miles. Had something urgent happened after their dinner last night and she didn't know? Could it be that her carelessness made her lose a patient? Or even two. It could have been five or more. She began to think of a career change. She had always wanted to work in a retirement home. Dr. Miles was the head doctor down at the hospital where she worked. He was rumoured to have had made advances to at least all the young nurses at the hospital. The older women could also be his victims, Jackie wouldn't have known. She was always so serious with any and everything. Hardly had time for herself or even office gossip. Her friends would argue that she did have time but would never use it for herself which is why they squeezed out one day of the weekend to take her out. To remind her that it wasn't always about work, and worry. She was grateful for the time she got to spend with them. Dr. Miles had taken her to the restaurant two blocks away from the hospital after they left the hospital. The one she always wanted to go to, but didn't think was necessary, seeing as she could just cook at home instead of wasting alot of dollars on food that probably wasn't even all that. There, they ate and chatted. She wasn't falling for his charm and surprisingly, he didn't mind. She had a beautiful story to tell, rocky, but still beautiful. The beauty was in the pain and he he had a story to tell as well, his wasn't as beautiful as her's, just pain. "I find it hard to believe that you were once married" Jackie confessed. She had always thought he was one of those men who just enjoyed what life had to offer and finally die lonely. Before that night they had spoken during lunch but had never gotten indepth so she was allowed to say what has always been on her mind. "I always thought you were just a play boy... a play man, because you're definitely not a boy." "Well, I was a play boy before I met my ex-wife, and I like to believe I still am. Putting the "man" in it just takes out the sexiness in it" he said smugly and watched her throw her head up and laugh. "I know that you have judged me mercilessly behind my back..." "In front as well" she winked and they both laughed. "But seriously, with all the responsibilities I have, I shouldn't have the time to do that.Sitting down to judge you is not the way I was trained, but it is nice to hear from the horses mouth "So, let's talk about you now, how is being a single mother treating you. I don't think we've ever seen her at the hospital" he asked as he took a bite of his casserole, staring at her intently. She sighed "It is not a garden of roses, but my Andy is the sweetest. The baby daddy on the other hand, real pain in the neck. We have joint custody. She stays with me more but goes to see him every two weeks. She always complains when it's time to go to his, he does not have her time... He's always working. I mean I'm working too, but it's all good." "He sounds like a bit of an asshole" She nodded, wiping her mouth "Oh he is, but I know he loves her and she loves him too. I wouldn't want my daughter to go through not having a father. It really sucks." The conversation was what she never knew she needed. It was all shades of warmth and she was grateful for this moment, clearing her mind and making a new friend. He reached across the table and placed his hands on hers. She looked up to him and they both smiled "I have only really known you today and you are one of the strongest and bravest people I know." After their dinner he drove her home, watched her get into her house and left for his house. No funny business. Was this the same man she had heard all those stories about? It was hard to believe, but she has always been known to be likeable. It was an advantage she thanked God for. He was a divorced old man in his sixties, but he still knew how to get women to his bed, just not this woman. She was probably the only person he truly wanted but couldn't get and he was okay with that because he needed a friend and so did she. They compliment for what they didn't have and she couldn't wait to tell her friends that they have competition. She smirked as she opened the message. "Hello miss Sanders"he started" Thank you for keeping an old lonely man like me company. See you at work Tomorrow. Rest well."he said and click. It wasn't necessary, but she'll take it. At least it wasn't an emergency she missed. Working in a retirement home would have to wait longer. She yawned and she opened the next message, getting up from her bed, she placed the phone back on the table. Bend over her bed, whispered a little prayer and started making her bed. "Hey girlfriend" he started "I wanted to call, but your line was not going through so I'll just drop this quickly. Remember that interview I told you about? Yeah well I was called in today that means I won't be around this weekend." He sighed "Trust me it hurts me as much as you but this is huge for me. Emphasis on the huge. Okay, I'm talking too much. Call me when you can okay? I love you too much" he made kissing noises and ended the voicemail. The day suddenly didn't feel as bright as it seemed, but she couldn't be mad. Jerome was one of the only two people Jackie ever knew. Her best friend. College was bearable because this guy wouldn't stop trying to talk to her. Of course Jackie tried ignoring him, because that's what she does, push people away. This person wouldn't budge. All the other guys wanted to get in her pants but this one just wanted to be a friend to a lonely girl. He pushed her to go for as many frat parties as he could, he was there for every stupid decision she has ever made and she was there for him as well. It didn't exactly warm her heart to hear this message, but, this was a wonderful moment for him and she knew it. being jobless for three years and living off your friends and family is not something that one would be proud of. She knew this interview was a big move and was never happier for her friend. Jackie sighed as she finished laying the bed and strides to the bathroom, her phone in hand as she played the second to the last message. It was from Andrew. "Hello, its me, Andrew, your baby daddy." he let out a nervous chuckle then cleared his throat, as if instantly regretting his words. wishing he didn't just try to make a joke of some sort "Just wanted to remind you that Andy will be coming today. And by the way, we had the best time together. We had a nice father- daughter moment. It was great. She begged me to let her stay, but, you know, I gotta work and she has to go to school. Call me when you have the time. Bye", Click. Jackie rolled her eyes. Andrew never ceases to amaze her. Someone who hardly had time for himself would have time for his daughter? She couldn't even imagine. She reached for the dove bar soap and she thought to herself How do you not be friends with your best friend again? Have s*x with them in the principal's office on prom night. She realized it was when she decided to break rules that something bad tend to happen to her. When she decided to drink with Cassandra in grade seven, her mother caught her and beat her and grounded her. The day in college when she went to a party when she was supposed to have been studying for midterms, she got a C on it. When she was meant to be dancing with her prom date in the school hall, she wasn't and got pregnant. Whenever she heard from him she was compelled to regret her actions, but just a quick glance at her Andy makes all that regret fade away. That night she might have made some bad choices, but that bad choice gave her an amazing gift. It was senior high prom, a day best known to be the day the virgins disbanded from the shackles of virginity. The best night in her life, supposedly. She and Andrew had been really close. They were often called Bonnie and Clyde in their neighborhood. One couldn't do without the other. Fast track to senior prom. They were two young adults, they were in love, at least that was what they thought. Many times she had regretted her act. She had her God loving mother there to support her. She thought to abort the child, but it was against everything her mother had believed in. Her mother's words were calm and soothing "It's okay baby, you're not alone. God got you, I got you". Yes, she was upset her daughter had gotten pregnant at the age of 19, but, she wasn't about to let her abort the child, that felt like a worse sin. Everyday of her life, Jackie hoped her mother were still alive to help her make decisions that she couldn't make on her own. She wished she was here to take care of her Andy when she felt the weight of work and other responsibilities heavy on her shoulders. Michelle was definitely not happy with her daughter's decisions, but she was her mother and leaving her daughter on her own with a baby on the way was not the way her own mother taught her to live. Michelle's death was one of the worse things Jackie had ever gone through, asides her father leaving her as a baby. She wished her mother could see her now, done with college and working in the hospital like she had always dreamed. As the warm water from the shower rained on her head, memories of her mother filled her air. The ass whooping, special Thanksgiving dinners, her sweet singing voice, even the short time she spent loving her granddaughter. Everything she knew and taught her daughter came from her mother. The wisest woman Jackie had ever known. She waited until she was done taking her shower before she played the last message. This was a number she didn't know, but her face brightened at the voice she heard. "Hello momma. Its your Andy" she said cheerfully. "Don't mind dad, we had no swell time. He hardly even looked at me the entire time. He hardly even spoke to me. It was either he was on his tab, or in his study, you know, how it always is. But, the most amazing thing is... He bought me a new smart phone! Cant wait to show you. I miss you. I love you. Please keep your spare key for me under the foot mat, and don't forget my chocolates. See you later" She ended the message. Jackie shook her head. Her daughter had lost her house key once again. The last time it was at the baggage claim at the airport, she wandered where it was this time. Andy's life wasn't all roses and candies. shuffling two parents was never a dream for anybody you know. Jackie hated that for her daughter, but hey, you have to admit it was way better than a father's abandonment. When teenagers her age spent their summer vacation out with friends, partying, on the beach, making terrible decisions, Andy was stuck in Jersey with her father. She loved the man but if she could have his attention at least twice a day, that was something she could live with. Andrew loved his daughter, everything he ever did was for her, and her mother. Being a CFO has never been easy, striving for a promotion made it even harder. He tries to be there for his daughter but whenever he has the littlest chance, something comes up. This was something he had no control over. She threw on an ash medium size shirt that had the words NO JUDGEMENT printed in white and blue mom jeans and white Nike air max plus. She wasn't feeling dressy. She grabbed her phone, stuffed it in her tote bag and made for the kitchen. There, she fixed herself a cup of coffee with toasts, drew the kitchen stool close and sat there in the kitchen, munching her breakfast. She looked around. There was nothing much to do at home. The house still seemed like it hadn't been lived in for days and that was because she hardly goes back home when Andy was at her dad's. There was nobody to go home to. The throw pillows laid helplessly on the couch, the couch itself hadn't been laid on in days. Every other thing was put in place. Andy would soon be back and this house will look more like a house. She let out a deep breath as she cleared the dishes and headed for the front door, walked out of the house and locked the door behind her. She placed the key under the foot mat and walked to her red Chevrolet car. She heard the sound of her neighbour's door slam. Ever had a neighbor that just wouldn't mind his or her business? Up to the point that he or she doesn't mind not minding his or her business? She rolled her eyes as she turned with a smile she forced out of herself. "Good morning miss Lucy"she yelled as cheerfully as she could. Miss Lucy smiled broadly "Good morning to you too Jacqueline. I just came out to get a fresh air. It is nice out isn't it?" Jackie smiled back "It sure is". She got into her car "What a day this will be" she muttered as she began to reverse, watching with a frustrating glance as Miss Lucy waved continuously at her. When she was out of her drive way, she drove off as fast as she could before her neighbor could yell out one more word. She turned on the radio which was one part of her drive to work that she realized she couldn't live without. It reminded her of her childhood and every good memory that came with it. Nodding rhythmically to the beat of the music.Her entire life was scheduled in a routine and flew as rhythmically and the song. She felt good about the day, but nothing could have prepared her for this routine change that turned everything around for her.