Playful Memories

Chapter Three

The truth is one of the things that the world made so hard to grasp. It made sure that whoever wanted it would experience pain unlike any other. So that by the time they are able to grasp it, it’d be so sweet, the pain would render to nothing.

But the journey is not actually about grasping the truth and taking hold of it in our own hands. It is about accepting what it wants to tell us. That somehow, from where we stand, we were wronged, were lied to and were deceived by others and even ourselves. And so when we are able to accept, there we can say we have truth in our hands.

This was inevitable, Ichigo thought a couple of times. He knew the truth but he has somehow managed to actually forget. He has impressively suppressed an incident that ended four years ago. An incident that started when he was just eight. It was horrible and for him to relive it, to face it, was something much more horrible.

“What is it? What is it that you want to confess?” Ichigo was curious. For Umi to hide things from him, would only mean that it had a reason.

“I was the one who brought Yuki here.” She told him plainly. “Her…” she halted, obviously trying to calculate every word she was to utter, “…uncle,” she almost whispered, “is here.”

And just that, Ichigo’s breath held still. He’s here? He thought repeatedly. The human, if considered one, which took innocence away from him in age that innocence should have flourished, was here. It spelled chaos in his eyes, in his soul. He has indeed decided to face his fears but he never thought that it was this soon.

“I noticed that you have been followed lately, and I went to the post office, diverting your address to mine, just in case my hunch was true.” She started again, ignoring her frozen friend. “And unfortunately, it was. I know, that seeing her might bring your current peace to a disaster, but I’d rather have that than that monster,” she said quite strongly, “get you again.” Her balled fist was white and her teeth clenched as she finished what she had to say.

“How long has he been here?” His tone was silent, unknowing what he was truly feeling at the moment.

“Three months. Right before Yuki was able to move here.”

And they were silent for a moment.

“I should go home.” Ichigo said.

“Yes, I think you should.” Yuumi stood from his side and stepped out of the curtains. “Ichigo, once you have settled everything, try to remember the good things and just bury the horrible ones.” And she was gone.

***

Karagawa Sou. Yuki’s uncle. He was a pedophile. And Ichigo was his most favorite victim. A few years back, Sou got a verdict of not guilty from molestation and started living with his brother, Yuki’s father. Around that time, the family thought that he would change and so gave him another chance, with one condition, he was to never speak to Yuki or any of her friends.

During that time, Ichigo’s family moved in the community and eventually, the eight year old Ichigo met Yuki. Their families became friends, but the fact that a pedophilic person lived with them, was never disclosed. Day by day, Ichigo would stay with the Karagwas since his parents were very busy with work and no one was able to watch over him. Yuki was mostly with him and they would play around the house most of the time. Until that incident happened.

It was a Saturday and Ichigo’s parents had an emergency meeting which they couldn’t miss. Yuki was still asleep during that time and her mother was doing the laundry. So Ichigo was left in the living room, playing by himself. It wasn’t long when a loud scream was heard all over the house. Yuki’s mother ran to the living room and saw her daughter an inch off the floor and Ichigo frozen, naked, and with hands and feet tied together with a rope.

“He did it to Ichi-kun!” Yuki shouted loud. “He did it! I saw it!”

“Shut up!” Sou shouted as he pulled her hair. “You have no proof b***h!”

But before he could do more harm, Yuki’s mother was able to call the police and had him arrested, this time he was brought to jail. But fate seemed to favor this criminal and the jail he went to burned to the ground, killing all inmates, except for one, him. But he was not found anywhere and there were no sightings of him anywhere as well.

On the other hand, Ichigo was never able to speak for months. He became aloof and was usually confined in the hospital from severe malnutrition for no longer eating right. His parents never blamed Yuki’s parents for anything that happened, but asked for help for their son. The Karagawas offered help and fixed their almost broken relationship.

Since Ichigo has not been to school for awhile, they decided to put Yuki on home school, so that Ichigo had a companion day by day. It was only Yuki that made him speak, eat and even smile. It seemed like Yuki was his guardian angel. His protector.

They would scribble many things in a notebook, a drawing book or anything they could take hold of. They would last all day long talking and making each other laugh. They did this for four years.

“Ichi-kun, what are you talking about?” Yuki was worried from what she was hearing.

“I overheard your parents talk about your future the other day and they are right.” He was looking at her seriously. They were in his room, doing math drills in the middle of a summer afternoon. Ichigo was going to start going to a regular school again and he had to practice doing things. Like speaking what was in his mind. “I can’t have you stuck with me forever. I am fine now.” He started to breathe faster.

“It’s happening again.” She walked over to the pitcher and poured water in a glass. She has prepared this in case Ichigo starts hyperventilating or panicking. “Whenever you thought of it, you start breathing fast.” She said offering him to drink.

“I am fine. You don’t have to keep on looking out for me.” He said, after taking a sip.

“So what did they say?”

“They want to move you to your grandmother’s house in the north and stay there. It seemed like she was getting ill and it was better if all of you stayed beside her before she leaves.” He said calmly.

“I see. Was there some more?” She tried to pry, wanting to squeeze from him all possible information she could get. She knew what her parents were thinking and that she only wanted to hear it from him.

“And they plan to never return.” And his tears fell.

Yes, it was true. Yuki walked close and embraced him tight. He held her tighter and cried on her shoulder.

“If you leave, I might not be able to eat healthily or sleep peacefully. You were my lullaby, my reason to wake up and see tomorrow. I can remember how you tried to save me before and how you took care of me and smiled at me and held me in moments when I was lost and scared. If you leave,” he sobbed, “I may not want to live.”

“No! Don’t say that. Please! All I ever wanted for you was to be well.” She said between sobs.

“But I can’t chain you to my greed or have you shoulder my burdens. I have to let you live a life, a beautiful one. One that is filled with moments when we were happily playing ‘til we dropped tired.” He placed her face between his palms and then kissed her forehead.

She nodded. She also needs to give him a chance to live life alone somehow. For him to be able to mold himself wonderfully, despite the trauma he had. And to face his fears.

“Ichi-kun, my family will leave the day after tomorrow, can we…”

He interrupted her, “I have somewhere to take you.”

It was the last day they were together and they did everything they could do. They walked to the park and played in the playground. They went to the arcades and sang their hearts out in the karaoke. They ate in a fast food chain and ordered huge servings of desserts. And right before the sun would set, Ichigo blind folded Yuki and led her to a lake.

“Where are we?” Yuki asked, pulling off the blindfold.

“Look over there!” Ichigo pointed to the building right across the lake. “I am going to go to school there next year.”

Yuki, standing a few feet behind him, moved closer to his back and embraced him. She held this boy caringly for many years and she has endlessly prayed prayers for him to be wonderful, unafraid and adventurous again. Now, she holds him one last time, listened to the beating of his heart one last time and feeling the warmth of his back one last time.

“Ichi-kun,” she said, trying not to cry, “I want to see the world with you. To walk on a wide field with you and to hold your hand as we get lost in the field of flowers and grass. Ichi-kun, I want to grow old having you beside me and to have our rocking chairs side by side as we look at the horizon and see the sun take its rest. And if the time comes that we die, I want us buried next to each other.” Her tears flowed endlessly, as if she was crying her lifetime supply of tears.

“I know. Promise you’ll never forget?” He asked, holding her hands on his chest. Indulging the warmth of her tiny hands for the last time.

“I promise.” She assured him, squeezing his hands tightly.

After she has left and he was alone, he was enveloped again by that sadness and dread he has developed over the years. He couldn’t forget. That was final in him. And he wanted to forget! Every single memory he had. Just to ease the dread and feel safe one more time.

And so… he did it.