Playful Memories

Chapter Four

There was a continuous heavy knocking on the door. Yuki ran to see who it was. As she opened the door, she found Ichigo, drenched from the rain.

“Takumi-san!” She exclaimed. “What happened?”

Ichigo didn’t answer and just pulled her to his chest and held her tight, as if he hadn’t held her for a long time. This was the memory of the boy stained by the ink. He was the boy in her story. And she was the memory in that page. No wonder the boy cried hard realizing the memory he had lost was something very important.

“Forgive me for forgetting.” He said almost in a whisper.

“W-what?” She stuttered.

“The ink went back to the ink jar and cleared the page of the notebook.” He said in a light jest, as he let go of his embrace and held her face between his palms, looking directly at her eyes. “And then… the boy remembered.” And he kissed her.

It was warm and soft and he could feel how much she had missed him and him as well. Oh! How sweet this memory was. How could he have done such horrible thing and then easily chose to forget about it?

He let go and she opened her eyes, still with astonishment?

“You remember?” She stuttered a little bit. “Everything?”

“Most of it, maybe, yes. I really don’t care for now.” He answered, renewed. He was feeling a bit funny. For three years he was living obliviously with his yearning to remember but somewhat chose to forget. And by choosing, he forgot.

And talking to the one who he has chosen to forget with every bad memory there was, he felt ashamed, weak and horrible. He loved her, from when they were little kids. She was his savior, shield and sword at times.

She was taller than him by a few inches and her birthday was a few months before his. She was more responsible and more active than he was. That was why he always relied on her. So when the time she had to live a life of her own with her family and without him in the picture and burdening her, he did what he thought was the best.

“Come in. We can’t stay here, we might get a cold.” She pulled him inside and ran to get him a towel.

Ichigo removed his shoes and walked to the living room, stood there and scanned the entire room. In one corner, he saw picture frames and to his surprise, it was all him in the picture. It was them, a long time ago.

“Takumi-san, take this towel and dry yourself. I prepared some change of clothes for you in the next room and a warm bath is ready too. Why don’t you take a shower first?” She offered him shyly, while standing behind him.

This was the back she fondly loved to stare some three years ago. That back that pointed to a school where he’d go. The back that she took care for a long time, scared from every single person in the world. And the back that she loved so much. It belonged to the man that chose to forget and live without her for the rest of his life. She thought it reasonable and better and thought that it would do her good. But three years had past and there was not one night she hadn’t cried from that fact.

“Why?” She couldn’t stop from asking anymore. “Why did you have to do it?” She was shaking, afraid from the answer she might hear. “I don’t get it, at all. I can’t come up with a reasonable and convincing answer up until now, so let me ask you. Why? Why did you have to do it?”

Yeah, right! This was why he came here instead of going home. This was why he ran under the rain from school and got himself drenched. He was going to explain to her why he chose to do so.

He turned to her direction and smiled an apologetic smile. He took the towel from her hands and placed it over his head. He sighed.

“Three years ago, when you decided to go, I was scared. A day after you left, I couldn’t take it. The loneliness and the dread that he is out there, still wanting to take me away, was frightening. I just thought that if I let you go, I will learn how to live without you beside me all the time. But I was wrong.” He was looking away.

His reason was selfish and he was the one who asked her not to forget, bur he was the first one to bail out just after a few hours after making the promise. He leaned on the furniture behind him and borrowed its sturdiness. Any minute now, he would faint from his own stupidity.

“I tried to get myself amnesia.” He finally said. “I chose to jump off from our roof and end up on the ground, thinking that it would do the trick. But no, I only got a head trauma and the bad memories blurred out. Instead of trying to forget by falling or getting myself killed one more time, I chose to forget.”

“And you succeeded?” She asked softly.

“I guess, I did. Yuumi helped a lot. Well, she helped me since before you left. After all, the three of us were buddies. It’s just that, Umi used weird tricks on me to forget.” He chuckled.

She chuckled too. “She told me that.”

“Since my memories of that time were already blurry, I couldn’t picture you out and didn’t bother articulating your name, instead, I just let it fade completely. Not recalling or bothering even. I asked Umi to search my house for everything that could make me remember. And that included her. My memories of the three of us from when I first moved here.” He continued, still looking away.

“You only wanted to forget, so you can move on?” Her voice was breaking, trying not to cry.

“Yes. I was. And I… was trying to run away as well. Wishing that somehow, if ever I succeed, my life will become better without dealing that past or wanting that man to get caught or get miserable. I just want to live without anymore worries.”

“I see.” She answered.

“I’m sorry.”

“There is nothing you need to apologize. I understand now, Ichi-kun.”

He looked at her, relieved. How he missed that name on her lips. “I still want to see the world with you and to walk with you on that wide field of grass and flowers. And to grow old with you and to have our rocking chairs set side by side while gazing at the setting sun. And if I die, I want to be buried beside you.”

She looked up, bewildered from his words. “You do remember. You do remember my little dream for us. I thought it was forgotten. After hearing what happened to you, Umi called, asking me to never see you. She said, it was better for everyone. So I never came. I stayed, crying over the news that you recall nothing from when we were kids. I stayed.” She was crying now, hard from all the accumulated hurt she has from the past years.

“But I could never come to the point of being angry and hateful towards you. Or to forget you. I thought maybe, it was indeed better. I may not know why, but something was telling it was indeed better.”

As she was sobbing, Ichigo went near her and embraced her tight. He held her close to his chest, not minding that he was wet and that she might get a cold from this, he cared less of those tiny details. But suddenly, the electricity was out and the door burst open. Umi was on the door, a little drenched and was in a panic.

“Ichi? Yuki? Are you here?” She called out, panting.

“Umi?” Ichigo ran to her. She was not the type of person who easily panicked. But whenever she does, everyone else should. “What happened?”

“He’s here!” She said loud, almost shouting. “He’s here!”

“Hurry and close the door!” Yuki called from the living room.

Ichigo hurried to the door behind Umi and pushed it hard, but before it could close, an old wrinkled hand blocked it. It got stuck between and struggled to open the door.

“There is no more escape to all of you bitches!” An old hoarse voice shouted loud and hard just right outside the door. “Open up bitches! This time I will not leave anyone of you! f*****g bitches!”

Even though fear was coursing Ichigo’s blood at the moment, he forcefully closed the door, hurriedly locking it.