Falling

Chapter 12

I hate dancing.

Which is ironic considering Georgia used to drag me onto dance floors every chance she got.

Case in point.

“Georgia, let go.”

She laughs and spins herself under my arm pushing her ass against me and swaying her hips.

“Don’t be a prude! You use to love this”

“Georgia.”

“Dean.”

Nothing’s changed.

She’s still beautiful.

Fucking hot.

Really hot.

Perfect rack.

Pressing her tight ass against me.

Still dramatic.

Still impossible.

And somehow that thought doesn’t make me happy.

It just makes me tired.

Because Georgia Mitchell and I were never really in a relationship.

Hell, we barely qualified as a situationship.

Second year.

Too much alcohol.

Too many parties.

Too many bad decisions.

Way too horny.

She was fun.

I was fun.

Neither of us wanted anything serious.

At least that’s what we agreed on.

Then one day she started introducing me as her boyfriend.

Started showing up unannounced.

Started crying when I talked to other girls.

And I -

Well.

I did what I always do.

I ran.

Because that’s Dean.

Dean doesn’t do girlfriends.

Georgia wasn’t my first almost-girlfriend.

She was just the loudest.

And after her?

I stopped trying completely.

No relationships.

No promises.

No complications.

No chance of ending up like Dad.

No chance of becoming the guy who destroyed Mom.

Simple.

Easy.

Safe.

Except…

Nothing about Margaux feels safe.

Nothing.

“Dean!”

Georgia snaps her fingers in my face.

“Earth to s*x god.”

“What?”

She grins.

“You weren’t even looking at me.”

Because I wasn’t.

Because I know exactly where she’s sitting.

Because my eyes keep searching for her.

Because apparently I’m pathetic now.

“Thirty seconds are up.”

Georgia gasps.

“You counted?”

“Down to the second.”

She laughs.

“You used to be more fun.”

“I used to like you.”

“Ouch.”

I grin.

“You survived.”

She rolls her eyes.

Maybe I hurt her feelings, I don’t really care.

I only care about one girl in this room tonight.

My eyes search for her every second I get.

Georgia follows my gaze.

And I feel her body go still.

Something ugly flashes across her face.

Possessive.

Mean.

Familiar.

And suddenly I know that look.

I’ve seen it way too many times before.

Right before she starts a fight.

“Interesting,” she says sweetly.

Too sweet.

Dangerously sweet.

I sigh.

“Georgia, don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Whatever you’re thinking.”

She smiles.

“Oh relax.”

Which means absolutely do not relax.

Then Margaux looks up.

Straight at me.

And our eyes meet.

Everything else disappears.

Just her.

And me.

She smiles.

Small.

Shy.

Beautiful.

My chest squeezes.

And I smile back.

I don’t even realize I’m moving toward her.

Don’t realize my feet have taken a step.

Until Georgia grabs my arm.

Hard.

“Dean?”

“What?”

“You really weren’t looking at me.”

I exhale.

“Georgia -”

She laughs loudly.

Loud enough that people nearby glance over.

“You know what? That’s actually hilarious.”

“Georgia.”

“You spend years acting like commitment gives you hives and now you’re making heart eyes at Barbie over there?”

I stiffen.

“Don’t call her that.”

“Oh?”

Her smile widens.

“Protective now?”

“Stop.”

But she doesn’t.

Because Georgia Mitchell has never stopped when she should.

Instead she reaches up and cups my face.

And I freeze.

“Georgia.”

“Maybe she should see what you’re really like.”

My eyes widen.

Too late.

She kisses me.

And for a second I’m too shocked to react.

Then I pull back immediately.

“What the f**k, Georgia!”

But she’s already looking past me.

Smirking.

And my blood runs cold.

Because Margaux saw.

Every second of it.

Her smile is gone.

Completely.

Anna’s eyes are huge.

Declan nearly chokes on his drink.

“What the f**k?” Declan blurts.

Anna stares between us.

Margaux just stands there.

Frozen.

The look on her face.

Confusion.

Hurt?

Pure hurt.

My stomach drops.

“Margaux -”

I can feel Declan, Anna and the rest of the crowds confused expression glaring at us.

Georgia wraps herself around my arm.

“Oh my God, don’t stop on our account,” she says loudly.

I yank my arm away.

“Georgia, enough.”

But she’s enjoying this.

Actually enjoying it.

She gives Margaux a fake smile.

“Sorry, sweetie. Guess old habits die hard.”

Anna’s mouth falls open.

“What the f**k did you just say?”

Anna looks ready to floor Georgia at any moment to which Declan steps in to deescalate the situation.

Declan looks disgusted.

Margaux swallows.

And she tries to smile.

Tries.

But I know her now.

Know that tiny tremble in her lip.

Know the shine in her eyes.

She’s upset.

And she’s trying so hard not to let anyone see it.

Which somehow makes it worse.

“No need for apologies! He’s all yours” she says quietly.

Ouch.

That stings.

“Margaux -”

She shakes her head.

“Dean, relax we are friends.”

She’s lying.

We aren’t just friends and she knows it.

But she won’t look at me.

Not anymore.

She turns and walks away.

Anna immediately glares at Georgia.

Declan shakes his head.

“You are f*****g crazy!”

Georgia just shrugs.

Not soft.

Not understanding.

And all I can see is Margaux disappearing through the crowd.

Leaving.

Because of this.

Because of me.

And suddenly I don’t feel jealous.

Or confused.

Or scared.

I just feel sick.

Because the girl I can’t stop looking at?

The girl who wears my hoodies.

The girl who falls asleep on my chest.

The girl I almost kissed.

Just walked away looking like I’d broken her heart.

And the worst part?

I think mine went with her.

Something in me snaps.

I can feel my blood boil.

I turn to Georgia.

“You know what?”

Georgia blinks.

“What?”

She has a grin on her face.

I point at her, furious.

“You don’t get to do that.”

Her expression hardens.

“Do what?”

“Pull the same crap you pulled two years ago and act like everyone else is the problem.”

“Excuse me?”

“Did I stutter?”

People are staring now.

I don’t care.

“I spent months apologizing for things I didn’t do because every time you got jealous, you made a scene. Every damn time.”

Her eyes widen.

“Oh, so now I’m crazy?”

“No, Georgia, what’s crazy is kissing me without asking just because you saw me talking to someone else.”

Her face flushes.

“You used me!”

I laugh bitterly.

“Used you? We agreed on what we were. You changed the rules and got angry when I couldn’t give you what you wanted.”

“That’s not fair!”

“No, what’s not fair is this.”

I gesture toward the crowd where Margaux disappeared.

“Humiliating someone who’s done absolutely nothing to you because you couldn’t stand not being the center of attention.”

Tears spring to her eyes.

“Wow.”

“Cry me a river.”

“You’re really choosing her?”

“I’m choosing not to let you hurt people because you’re angry.”

She scoffs.

“And suddenly you’re some hero?”

“No.”

My voice drops.

For a second she just stares at me.

Then she laughs shakily.

“You know what? Go.”

I don’t hesitate.

Because all I can think about is Margaux walking away with that look on her face.

And I hate that I put it there.

I hate that she thought I let that happen.

I hate that she left without even looking at me.

So I go after her.

Not because I have some grand speech.

Not because I suddenly have everything figured out.

But because she shouldn’t have to leave hurting while I stand here arguing about the past.

And because, for the first time in a long time, walking away feels a hell of a lot easier than staying.

I burst out the side door of the karaoke bar.

Cold air hits me.

And there she is.

Standing beside the railing.

Typing frantically on her phone.

Crying.

Not sobbing.

Not dramatically.

Just…

Quiet tears.

And Christ.

That might actually kill me.

“Babydoll?”

She jumps.

Immediately wiping her cheeks.

“Dean.”

She laughs bitterly.

Not her laugh.

Not the one I love.

The broken one.

“Can we talk?”

“Dean -”

I move closer.

Slowly.

Carefully.

Like she’s something fragile.

Which she isn’t.

Margaux could probably kill a man with a glare.

But right now…

She looks small.

And hurt.

And I hate myself for being the reason.

“My uber is going to be here soon - ”

Her voice cracks.

And that’s what does it.

Because she’s crying.

Actually crying.

And she’s trying so hard not to.

“I didn’t kiss her.”

She laughs again.

And it hurts.

Because it’s empty.

“Dean, please.”

“She kissed me.”

“Okay.”

“Baby-”

“It doesn’t matter.”

She says it so quietly.

So softly.

Like she’s trying to convince herself.

But she’s crying.

And I know.

God, I know.

Because I’ve seen that look in the mirror before.

The one that says you’re trying desperately to pretend you don’t care.

“Yes, it does.”

“It doesn’t! We are just friends if even that.”

“We’re not.”

She finally turns.

And her eyes -

Those eyes.

Red.

Shiny.

Heartbroken.

And I swear my chest caves in.

She blinks.

“What?”

“We are not just friends Margaux.”

“Nothing happened I swear to God.”

She’s getting frustrated now.

“I almost kissed you.”

Her eyes close.

“And then your ex kissed you.”

Her voice cracks.

“And I…”

She stops.

And for one terrifying second I think she’s going to say it.

Think she’s going to tell me.

Think she’s going to say she likes me.

But then…

Then she shakes her head.

Hard.

“No.”

No?

“No what?”

“No.”

Like she’s arguing with herself.

Like she’s pushing something away.

And suddenly…

I know.

Or at least I think I do.

And hope blooms inside me.

Tiny.

Dangerous.

Beautiful.

Until she whispers -

“I’ve liked Noah for years.”

Hope dies.

Instantly.

“I know,” I say softly.

Her lip trembles.

“And he’s sweet.”

“Yeah.”

“And he likes me.”

“Yeah, so do I.”

Fuck.

Dean.

“Dean, you’re…”

She laughs shakily.

“You’re Dean.”

And somehow that hurts.

Not because she’s wrong.

Because she’s right.

I’m Dean.

The guy who doesn’t commit.

The guy with girls like Georgia.

The guy everybody has fun with.

Not the guy they choose.

“Margaux - ”

Stop.

Stop talking.

Because if I say the next thing…

There’s no taking it back.

Because if I tell her I can’t stop thinking about her -

If I tell her she’s the first girl that’s ever scared me -

If I tell her I smile like an i***t every time she says my name -

If I tell her -

“Margaux!”

I freeze.

No.

No.

Not now.

Noah.

He jogs toward us.

Concern all over his face.

“Margs, are you okay?”

She immediately wipes her eyes.

“Noah.”

He reaches her in seconds.

And before I can even think -

She’s in his arms.

And he holds her.

Like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

My stomach drops.

Because she’s crying.

And he’s comforting her.

And she lets him.

His hand strokes her hair.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he whispers.

Three words.

Three stupid words.

And they hit me harder than any punch I’ve ever taken.

Because that’s Noah.

Steady.

Reliable.

Safe.

The guy who’s always there.

Something inside me actually hurts.

Physically hurts.

And for the first time in years…

I understand heartbreak.

Not getting dumped.

Not losing a hookup.

Not jealousy.

Heartbreak.

Real, ugly heartbreak.

Because standing ten feet away from me,

Crying in another man’s arms,

Is the girl I think I’m falling in love with.

And she’s not looking at me.

Not anymore.

She’s looking at him.

And I don’t think I’ve ever felt so completely helpless in my life.