Do Not Open This Book

Oh! You opened the book. I assume that was an accident? No problem, accidents happen. I’m not even angry. Just please don’t turn the page! What the Heck?! You turned the page. Did you hear me okay? I’ll put it down to a simple misunderstanding but I’ll say it once more…very clearly… Please don’t turn the page. What are you doing? I just told you not to turn it. You definitely heard me. Look, I was very reasonable when you opened the book, but this is too much. Whatever you do, please don’t turn the page. You did it again. Are you mad? Are you not thinking straight? You’re now in danger. I’m telling you as a friend that you definitely don’t want to see what’s on the next page. A Young boy saw it once and his hair turned white with fear. Whatever you do, please don’t turn the page. Okay, okay. I lied about the boy’s hair turning white. I’m sorry I lied. But you don’t understand. You must stop what you’re doing. Honest to Charlie, If turn the page I’ll never speak to you again. Never ever! Pleeeaaase don’t turn the page. Hmph. Arghhh! You turned again! Even after I gave you the silent treatment. Right! I am going to tell your parents exactly what you are doing, unless you put this book down straight away. I mean it. Please don’t turn the page. Wow! Okay, I warned you. Now I’m calling your parents! Mum! Dad! Your child keeps turning the page and must be punished. Send them to their room! No dinner for a week! Confiscate all books including this one! Ha! See how you go turning the pages now. Oh, good golly, you cannot be stopped. Please, please don’t turn another page. See, I’m crying now. I’m begging. It’s serious. If you get to the end of this book I’m done for. I’ll do anything. You want gold? I’ll get you gold. You want a flying car? I’ll make one for you. Just please don’t turn the page. Right. Seems like you can’t be reasoned with. So go ahead. Turn the next page. That’s actually what I want you to do. Seriously, turn it. Noooo! I was trying to trick you but it didn’t work. You mustn’t turn the last page. Something awful will happen. You see, I once met a terrible witch who told me that if anyone made it to the last page of this book she’d turn me into a frog. So please, please don’t turn the page. Thanks a lot.