Hold me

I feel like s**t. You know your life is messed up when that's the first thing that comes to mind when you wake up. Saviyah Adams isn't exactly the social butterfly. She prefers to be the outcast, that way nobody bothers her. How she wishes that was true. It's not as if the school bullies will miraculously leave her alone just because she's quiet. This morning I'm not particularly happy, as it's the day that I've been dreading. The basketball season is starting and it will be as if all my nightmares are now reality. But what can I say it's not as if I can just disappear and go to another universe. I drag my feet towards the bathroom and look at the person in the mirror. I read somewhere that it's helpful to recite daily affirmations to yourself whilst in front of the mirror, apparently it builds confidence or whatever. I stare at myself in the mirror but I can't bring myself to lie and say I'm confident, worth it and beautiful. Maybe tomorrow society will change and there won't be one idea of beauty. My mother always used to say that I was the most beautiful girl in the world. With my luscious hair, doe eyes, pouty lips and mahogany complexion, I used to also think so until it all came crashing down in high school. I brush my teeth and contemplate what to do with my hair. I think I'll just opt for a high puff. As she heads to the shower her mother shouts "Baby, please don't take too long you're going to be late for the bus and I can't take you to school this morning" Rolling her eyes she answers "Ok mama" She takes the quickest shower ever, moisturizeres with a rich coconut lotion and heads to the mirror to do her hair. She contemplates whether to apply makeup or not and decides against it. Unlike most girls her age she doesn't have puberty pimples, good genes I guess. As she passes by the wall length mirror she looks at herself, boyfriend jeans a green hoodie and a pair of Vans have never let her down. As she exits her room and descends the stairs, she is greeted by the most amazing smell of pancakes and bacon her favourite. Her mother is no where in sight she probably went to work already. She eats quickly, puts the dishes in the sink and sets a mental reminder to do them when she gets back from school. The bus arrives and she sits in her usual spot directly behind the driver. She sighs and mentally prepares herself for the day ahead. Let the games begin.