The Alpha's Lost Luna

16

Liz

Dreams that made no sense flashed through my mind in broken pieces. Images of wolves I didn't recognize. Lands I had never seen. Endless forests kissed by silver moonlight. Hilly plains overlooking violent rock formations. A mated pair stood in the center of it all. Holding a newborn pup wrapped carefully in their arms. A little boy around three or four stood beside them, peering up at the bundle in their arms. They looked familiar. Painfully familiar.

They had a look of pure joy on their faces. They were recognizable in a way that made something deep inside of me ache, and yet, I had no idea who they were.

I vaguely remembered opening my eyes and seeing Rowan there, his blue eyes locked on mine, his hand holding mine like he was afraid to let go. But I couldn't tell if that had actually happened or if it had simply been some delirious, pain filled wish my mind created to survive. I couldn't sort through the images fast enough before they shifted into something else. Whispers. Soft voices danced at the edges of my mind, too distant to understand. Mumbled and unintelligible, like ghosts speaking just out of reach.

Was I still at the stake? Was this real? Was this some cruel dream? Was I dead?

I didn't understand how I knew, but my body knew I was safe. I could feel my wolf — weak and exhausted — resting instead of pacing in panic. I felt something I had never truly known before. Peace. Safety. Contentment.

Salt and driftwood wrapped around me like a warm blanket, coating my senses. It was intoxicating. Familiar. My wolf melted into it like she had been searching for it her whole life. Then pain hit. Sharp and violent. Merciless. It lanced across my back so suddenly that I gasped, my body jerking as memories of the whip tore through me just as brutally as the lashes had been. The beautiful dream vanished.

The wolves, the whispers, the peace. Gone. Only the nightmare remained. Throbbing, aching pain made me feel half alive and half a ghost as the pain threatened to drag me under. My body felt heavy. My skin felt too tight. My throat was raw. I heard that voice again. Low and gentle. Close. Then I felt hands.

Warm hands cupped my face, grounding me before the panic could fully take hold. My eyes flew open and locked onto cerulean blue. So blue they stole the air from my lungs.

"It's okay," Rowan whispered. His voice was low and careful, like I was something fragile. "It's okay, Liz. You're safe."

Safe. The word sounded foreign. His hands were gentle against my skin. Too gentle. It was a touch I wasn't used to. A touch that made my body react before my mind could. I flinched. Hard. His expression flickered instantly. Anguish flashed across his face like I had struck him instead.

Guilt stabbed through me, but the fear was louder. His hands moved to stroke my cheeks, then my hair, then to my shoulders, steadying me against... silk. Soft sheets. Plush blankets and furs. Warmth and comfort.

I frowned, my panic momentarily interrupted as I turned my head, wincing when the tight pull of healing skin sent sharp pain across my shoulders. I didn't have. Sheets like this. I barely had sheets at all. This wasn't the tiny storage closet excuse of a room hidden where the pack couldn't see. The bed beneath me was far too soft for that. Far too large.

I stilled. Slowly, I forced my eyes open wider. Dark wood stretched above me. Rich walnut walls caught the warm amber glow of the firelight dancing somewhere nearby. Dark gray wainscoting layered beautifully against the wood, rustic and masculine and somehow still elegant. Exposed stone broke through the walls in rugged sections, like the cliff side outside had claimed pieces of the room.

It was strong. Natural and solid. Like the room itself had been carved by hand from the alpha currently sitting across from me. Nothing about it felt familiar except for the scent. Salt...driftwood and sandalwood... earthy and wonderful. Realization hit me all at once. I was in Rowans room. My heart stumbled so hard it almost hurt worse than my back.

Slowly, carefully, I pushed myself up onto my elbows, biting back a hiss as pain flared across my back. My gaze moved around the room, taking it in piece by piece. It felt like him. Solid and heavy. But cozy and safe.

Thick blankets draped across my lap rubbed against my skin like a caress. They had been tucked around me carefully and purposefully. Heat from the fireplace warmed my skin. A tray of food sat untouched on the bedside table beside a large pitcher of water. Condensation dripped down the glass, making my mouth ache with thirst.

My throat tightened. Why would he bring me here? Surely once I was done with my punishment, Regina would have healed me just enough to keep me alive for the next session of abuse. Luna Faye and Alpha Marcus couldn't have their favorite punching bag dying on them. Luna Faye would lose her mind if she knew I was even breathing the same air as Rowan Steele in this room. The entire pack would whisper for weeks.

Punishment... that was all I could think. Punishment worse than before. They would likely kill me. My heart rate spiked. I moved to stand, but Rowan was faster. His hands were on my shoulders instantly, gentle but firm. He held me in place before I could hurt myself trying to flee. My breaths came in short, panicked bursts. My eyes darted wildly, and I was sure I looked like some feral cornered thing.

But Rowan didn't snap. He didn't command, and he didn't grow angry. He sat patiently on the bed across from me, holding me steady like I was something worth claiming instead of controlling.

"Liz," he said softly. The nickname only a few people ever used fell from his lips effortlessly. I hated how much I liked hearing it from him. "Breathe." His voice was low. Steady and certain. "Calm down. You're safe. You're okay. It's going to be okay."

I shook my head violently.

"You don't understand," I choked out. My voice was cracked and raw. "Nowhere is safe for me." Tears burned behind my eyes and I hated them for it. "Your mother nearly killed me for speaking to you in the kitchen... she..."

My voice broke. I swallowed hard. I couldn't say it. I couldn't speak aloud the part of me she had broken. The humiliation. The helplessness. The way something inside of me had cracked open beneath that whip. That weakness... I would bury it. I wouldn't hand it to anyone. Not even him. But tears betrayed me anyway, slipping free and sliding down my cheeks.

"She cannot hurt you here," Rowan promised, and this time there was steel beneath the softness. "Nowhere one enters my rooms without my permission."

His tone was absolute. Not hopeful. No maybe. It was certain.

"I'm not safe anywhere," I whispered, more to myself than him. But he heard it. Of course, he did. I looked down at my hands as my fingers wrung together over the blankets. I couldn't look at him. Not right now when I was so raw and emotional. So vulnerable.

"You're safe with me."

His fingers tilted my chin gently, forcing my eyes back to him. And god, that was dangerous. The way my breath left me. The way my body softened. The way my wolf purred like a traitor.

"Today should have never happened," he said quietly. "And it will never happen again."

I let out a weak and bitter laugh. "You shouldn't make promises you can't keep, alpha."

His thumb traced over my lower lip slowly, pulling gently like he was testing my restraint instead of his own. His eyes dropped to my mouth and then back to my eyes. Like he was trying to win a war inside himself. His chest rumbled. A low, deep purr that melted something shamefully soft inside of me. I would never admit that. Never.

I was supposed to be leaving. I was supposed to be protecting myself. I was supposed to remember every reason this was dangerous. But all I could think about was him. His scent. His hands. His sharp jaw. His eyes so beautiful they looked like the ocean when the sun hit it just right.

Rowan leaned closer. Like he was caught in the same storm that I was drowning in. He didn't speak. He just purred. My pulse thundered.

"What are you doing?" I whispered.

"I don't know," he admitted. His voice was husky and rough enough to send heat racing down my spine.

He leaned closer. And closer. Closer. I backed up until my wounded back pressed into the wall of pillows behind me. Pain flared. I barely noticed.

"Liz..."

My name left his mouth like a prayer. Like a warning and surrender. His mouth hovered just above mine. His warm breath mixed with my own. One second. Two. Enough time for me to pull away. Enough time for him to stop. Neither of us did. His lips pressed to mine. Gentle. Careful. Like he was asking instead of taking. My first kiss. And somehow, with every warning screaming in my head, it felt exactly like coming home.

I should have pushed him away. I should have stopped this. This wasn't the time and it certainly wasn't the place. I didn't know if there would ever be a right one. But I didn't stop him. And when his hand slid softly into my hair and his kiss deepened just enough to make my heart stutter... I kissed him back.